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xinetr's review
3.0
The idea that, in the U.S. at least there are two types of popularity one based on status one based on likability (there's one set of experiments in China where there wasn't even really an analogous concept for status-based popularity) is somewhat strained even by the author's own research. I say that because for about the first two-thirds of the book it feels as if either kind of popularity is something inherent in a person and he makes a lot of claims that it's relatively stable over the lifespan and even inter-generationally. While there may be some truth to how these experiments work, I'd like to see consideration of whether a person's likable versus unlikable social behaviors (listed on p.121 ) could be more situational and contextualized rather than a feature of what becomes one's "personality" (open offices and hospitals come to mind as contexts where I find it difficult to maintain Prinstein's version of likability, for instance). When he gets into people's popularity influencing and being influenced by the attributions they make to explain social interactions and how secure and age-appropriate an attachment their parents created with them, it definitely starts to feel like he doesn't have much of a unifying, underlying theory of Popularity. It's not even clear that any of his evolutionary hypothesizing works since being a "rejected" child or teen can make a person more alert to other's feelings (either that, or more aggressive, again some mechanism is missing here). Prinstein also introduces 4 quadrants in a matrix of likability: Accepted, Controversials, Neglecteds and Rejecteds with a large diamond drawn around the center labeled Average but spends no time on Average at all, says Controversials are rare (but remember, he doesn't test different situations), and essentially neglects Neglecteds except for one story of lay-offs. He's done some interesting reading and experiments, but I didn't love it or feel it added much to my knowledge base that I didn't already get from Subliminal by Leonard Mlodinow, Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman, Teach Only Love by Gerald Jampolsky, or even The Baby Book by William Sears and Martha Sears and (when my girls were teens) How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls by Donna Carnegie, etc.
kmastin08's review against another edition
4.0
I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would. I read this book at the suggestion of my mentor who mentioned if would be helpful to understand office dynamics and how to navigate them better.
The overall book is about status vs likability and how we confuse one for another. Additionally the author discusses what true likability looks like and how it affects every bit of our life from basic happiness to success in workplace.
The most surprisingly aspect for me was reflecting on my own life and my unpopularity and how I was able to transcend the box I could have easily stayed in. I think this book would also appeal to parents so they can ensure they’re not raising bullies and ensure they’re likable while maintaining their unique personality.
The overall book is about status vs likability and how we confuse one for another. Additionally the author discusses what true likability looks like and how it affects every bit of our life from basic happiness to success in workplace.
The most surprisingly aspect for me was reflecting on my own life and my unpopularity and how I was able to transcend the box I could have easily stayed in. I think this book would also appeal to parents so they can ensure they’re not raising bullies and ensure they’re likable while maintaining their unique personality.
llambe01's review
3.0
This book would have been great if it actually included how to improve likeability as it kept claiming you could
tpanik's review
4.0
Fascinating and helpful. Understanding the difference between popularity and likability, and knowing how they intersect will change your perceptions and assumptions!
lisakdeng's review
3.0
My internet therapist recommended this book to me. And then I stopped seeing her.
meganlouise815's review against another edition
3.0
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
I quite enjoyed this book. It was insightful, and I really liked how it was written. I've never read anything about this particular topic so it was interesting and original for me. I recommend it.
I quite enjoyed this book. It was insightful, and I really liked how it was written. I've never read anything about this particular topic so it was interesting and original for me. I recommend it.
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