Reviews with content warning for Vomit - In My Dreams I Hold a Knife

I was not a fan of this book.
The plot isn't half bad, and the pacing is actually pretty good; it really starts to move, and once it starts it doesn't stop. That's about all I can say for it, though.
None of the characters are likable. At all. It's more than being "morally grey;" these characters are all so fundamentally unlikable that it makes it genuinely difficult to root for any of them or get invested in their lives. The dialogue is stilted and unnatural at points, and the narration is far too padded for a first-person narrator; she feels less like a character and more like a mouthpiece for the author at times. Establishing the occasional switch from first- to third-person narration over twenty chapters in was also a jarring change. Many of the twists felt unearned or unpredictable, like there wasn't enough (or any) preamble or foreshadowing for us to reasonably figure out how or why we got there. The final chapter also really undercut the main character's entire narrative arc and it robbed her of what little impactful growth she could have had.
I wouldn't recommend this one. It's a quick read, but it's not terribly well done, and I really only finished it out of spite.

I was also not thrilled by the author's seemingly unconscious homophobia and internalized misogyny. It's all fine and good to critique the 00s brand of misogyny and homophobia, but to then fall into standard biphobic stereotypes (cheating bisexual) and rampant unironic "I'm not like other girls" characterization makes any real critiques ring hollow.

Content Warnings

violagirl25's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional mysterious sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

taelorfiller's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Content Warnings

melissaslibraryy's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Content Warnings

awkwardimagination's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

(these may be spoilers, but i dont know, ill keep it vague)

This book is (mostly) about entitled white people and their vanity and their inability to seek a decent therapist (i saw mostly bc two characters are poc), in the simplest terms. (i was wrong about jessica btw). Most of these characters were not likeable, they were all kinda horrible people. Except for Caro, who was like a little creepy, Jack, who was also a little creepy, and Frankie, who was probably the most normal motherfucker out of all of them (the diversity characters really got screwed over in the book). I liked the ending, and Jess in the beginning was likeable. Did not end how I thought it was gonna end and some things felt kinda convenient, but it was enjoyable.

I really dont think this book was for me, these arent the kind of characters i enjoy reading about.

Content Warnings

stevienielson's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional funny mysterious reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

meeklovestoread's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

I'm not going to lie, for the first 60-70 pages of this book, I wasn't enjoying it which made me sad because I absolutely ADORED "The Last Housewife" by this author. I was almost going to DNF it, however, in "The Last Housewife" I also didn't enjoy the first 60 or so pages so I thought I'd give this book the same courtesy and I'm so glad I did.

Although I wasn't enjoying the first 60-70 pages there was something about Ashely Winstead's writing that got me. It was like it was laced with something because I still read it pretty quickly. Same with the previous book that I read from her; I just really enjoy her writing. However, I think a big part of me not enjoying the beginning was that I felt like there were too many characters being introduced at once for me to imagine who was who.

After my rough patch in the beginning, I started to really enjoy the book and the things that went down. There was so much drama and secrets and that's what kept it so entertaining for me. There were so many crazy things happening. A lot (if not most) of the characters were unlikeable which isn't a deterring factor for me when it comes to a good book. I honestly think their unlikeability was the point. To point out that no one in that friend group was innocent as well as revealing the toxicity that engulfed them.

I also enjoyed the subtle subplot of romance in this book once I understood the dynamic because in the beginning I was confused about who Jessica was really falling for, but that becomes clear a bit later.

And as I was reading, I couldn't help but notice that Mint and Jessica kind of parallel each either. Both are concerned with image and status and it's pointed out a couple of times in the book that both view each other superficially. Mint views Jessica as "the good girl" who will stay loyal to him no matter what. And Jessica views Mint as "the golden boy" to elevate her status as she strives for her father's dream. It's also important to note their parental situation and the fact that both their fathers are dead. I'm glad that the author pointed that out in the end. That they're two sides of the same coin.

I got the twist about halfway through the book however it was still fun to see how things unfollowed. It was so crazy!

Overall, I had a good time with this book and that's honestly thing only thing one can ask for when you read a book! Also, I loved Coop! (and Jack and Frankie)

However, I don't encourage Jack's cheating on Heather with Frankie at all. I feel like this has become normalized, but I honestly can't stand it when it's portrayed that a closeted person cheats on their significant other with someone else. Cheating is cheating regardless of the reason behind it (except in abusive circumstances). He still hurt her and I cannot stand for that. And I also don't condone Coop's cheating on Caro as well as Jessica's cheating on Mint (as bad as Mint was).

Side note: I saw some comments about the title. I'm not sure if this is a reoccurring theme in Ashely Winstead's book, but I've noticed that both the books I've read by her have titles that didn't have much to do with the book, but I have noticed that they do match certain scenes in the book. Like this title, "In My Dreams I Hold on a Knife" may reference the fact that Heather was stabbed 17x. Just a theory.

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