Reviews with content warning for Grief - In My Dreams I Hold a Knife

✂️ We have a college that is not Ivy League but is famous for its old look and for attracting rich families. Our narrator is named Jessica and she wanted to enter Harvard to please her dad, and when she failed she applied for this college, which she can't pay for. That's how her life of pretence starts and things get easy when she meets: Heather, Caro, Coop, Jack, Frankie and Mint. The seven of them will become The East House Seven, a nickname that would follow them throughout their popular college life.

✂️ Their appearance-focused daily life, mean girls' behaviour, sorority/fraternity crazy shenanigans... All that comes to a halt when one of their friends is murdered and the group falls apart. Ten years later, the crime is still unsolved and the little brother of the victim organizes a college reunion to antagonize the group for answers.

✂️ We have two timelines, I enjoyed the back and forward because it felt like an episode of HTGAWM since every time a secret was revealed in the present we got a flashback about it. And there's a feeling of thriller and anticipation when we start to get closer to the truth and I enjoyed that a lot.

✂️ Unfortunately, for me, I couldn't stand the characters! They're awful people, the high school stereotypes but make it college-centered, their friendship and love affairs are revealed to be full of lies... It's toxicity over and over again. I can't say it doesn't go well with the plot of the book, cause it does, but I couldn't enjoy their self-centred minds to the point I had to DNF my next read the book "Asking for it" by Louise O'Neill because the characters were also awful people.

✂️ The revelation of the true killer was satisfying and the motive was valid, I liked it. The ending I wasn't such a fan, didn't want a happy ending for them...

Content Warnings

melissaslibraryy's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Content Warnings

lilawsahar's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Holy shit.

I can’t believe Mint killed Heather because he thought it was Jessica. I also can’t believe Mint and Jessica just let her die. They did nothing to save her. They are literally perfect together. I can’t believe that Cooper still wants her even though he’s a good person and she is most definitely not. Also I can’t believe Mint kept dating Jessica even after he thought he killed her!! Wtf. Why didn’t he break up with her if he hated her so much. Also what was he planning on telling Jessica when she ran after Cooper in the present day Homecoming…

All the people in this book are really shitty. They make terrible life choices and only think about themselves. They all need therapy.

Jake cheated on Heather throughout their relationship with Frankie. Frankie cheated with Jake. Mint KILLED Heather and never truely loved Jessica just liked being admired by her. Cooper cheated with Jessica. Heather threatened to expose Frankie for taking drugs and wanted to expose Jake for being gay. She also lied about how much work she put into her life and drove Jessica mad. Caro stalked her friends because she wanted to be included in everything. Jessica let Heather die and cheated on Mint. What a shitty group of friends.

Content Warnings

jessiejonesbentley's review against another edition

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dark mysterious medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

meeklovestoread's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

I'm not going to lie, for the first 60-70 pages of this book, I wasn't enjoying it which made me sad because I absolutely ADORED "The Last Housewife" by this author. I was almost going to DNF it, however, in "The Last Housewife" I also didn't enjoy the first 60 or so pages so I thought I'd give this book the same courtesy and I'm so glad I did.

Although I wasn't enjoying the first 60-70 pages there was something about Ashely Winstead's writing that got me. It was like it was laced with something because I still read it pretty quickly. Same with the previous book that I read from her; I just really enjoy her writing. However, I think a big part of me not enjoying the beginning was that I felt like there were too many characters being introduced at once for me to imagine who was who.

After my rough patch in the beginning, I started to really enjoy the book and the things that went down. There was so much drama and secrets and that's what kept it so entertaining for me. There were so many crazy things happening. A lot (if not most) of the characters were unlikeable which isn't a deterring factor for me when it comes to a good book. I honestly think their unlikeability was the point. To point out that no one in that friend group was innocent as well as revealing the toxicity that engulfed them.

I also enjoyed the subtle subplot of romance in this book once I understood the dynamic because in the beginning I was confused about who Jessica was really falling for, but that becomes clear a bit later.

And as I was reading, I couldn't help but notice that Mint and Jessica kind of parallel each either. Both are concerned with image and status and it's pointed out a couple of times in the book that both view each other superficially. Mint views Jessica as "the good girl" who will stay loyal to him no matter what. And Jessica views Mint as "the golden boy" to elevate her status as she strives for her father's dream. It's also important to note their parental situation and the fact that both their fathers are dead. I'm glad that the author pointed that out in the end. That they're two sides of the same coin.

I got the twist about halfway through the book however it was still fun to see how things unfollowed. It was so crazy!

Overall, I had a good time with this book and that's honestly thing only thing one can ask for when you read a book! Also, I loved Coop! (and Jack and Frankie)

However, I don't encourage Jack's cheating on Heather with Frankie at all. I feel like this has become normalized, but I honestly can't stand it when it's portrayed that a closeted person cheats on their significant other with someone else. Cheating is cheating regardless of the reason behind it (except in abusive circumstances). He still hurt her and I cannot stand for that. And I also don't condone Coop's cheating on Caro as well as Jessica's cheating on Mint (as bad as Mint was).

Side note: I saw some comments about the title. I'm not sure if this is a reoccurring theme in Ashely Winstead's book, but I've noticed that both the books I've read by her have titles that didn't have much to do with the book, but I have noticed that they do match certain scenes in the book. Like this title, "In My Dreams I Hold on a Knife" may reference the fact that Heather was stabbed 17x. Just a theory.

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