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declan_derfler_murphy's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
5.0
buthainna's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
slow-paced
5.0
I'm on the hunt for memoirs on schizophrenia, there is scarcity on the subject so I couldn't believe my luck when I found this book about the unique perspective of twins!
Schizophrenia is scary enough of a mental disorder nowadays, just imagine what it was like in 60s and 70s.
I felt a lot during this book, I felt dread when Pam detailed her hallucinations (especially the commanding ones), I felt shock when they described "oddities" in Pam's behavior as a teen which in retrospect could've been prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia. I felt appalled at how alone she was! Terrible families exist all over the world, but in the east they're a lot more tight-knit and nobody would be left alone like that, especially when they have such an illness that makes them a risk for themselves.
The book gave me perspective on the exhaustion and helplessness that comes with frequent hospitalizations and ineffective medications. How psychosis completely alters a person's life.
After getting better on ECT sessions, Pam says "I've lived inside the nightmarish fragments of a time and country beyond understanding. An everlasting present that has no connection to anything or anyone. I've been literally in a world of my own. Small, terrifying, and constricted as this world is, it's been all I know"
and
"In catatonia, I abdicate living -not by choice, it's true- but nevertheless I am for that time effectively lifeless. And I come close to relinquishing life altogether in my compulsion -governed by the command hallucinations of the hazmat man- to burn myself alive to atone for imaginary crimes."
I just learned that Carolyn passed away in 2019, however at one point in the book Carolyn states "I know the statistics, I'll probably outlive her (Pam)" and that made me sad.
Schizophrenia is scary enough of a mental disorder nowadays, just imagine what it was like in 60s and 70s.
I felt a lot during this book, I felt dread when Pam detailed her hallucinations (especially the commanding ones), I felt shock when they described "oddities" in Pam's behavior as a teen which in retrospect could've been prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia. I felt appalled at how alone she was! Terrible families exist all over the world, but in the east they're a lot more tight-knit and nobody would be left alone like that, especially when they have such an illness that makes them a risk for themselves.
The book gave me perspective on the exhaustion and helplessness that comes with frequent hospitalizations and ineffective medications. How psychosis completely alters a person's life.
After getting better on ECT sessions, Pam says "I've lived inside the nightmarish fragments of a time and country beyond understanding. An everlasting present that has no connection to anything or anyone. I've been literally in a world of my own. Small, terrifying, and constricted as this world is, it's been all I know"
and
"In catatonia, I abdicate living -not by choice, it's true- but nevertheless I am for that time effectively lifeless. And I come close to relinquishing life altogether in my compulsion -governed by the command hallucinations of the hazmat man- to burn myself alive to atone for imaginary crimes."
I just learned that Carolyn passed away in 2019, however at one point in the book Carolyn states "I know the statistics, I'll probably outlive her (Pam)" and that made me sad.
bookrec's review against another edition
3.0
This book is about Schizophrenia. Reading this book was an eye-opener. You have to feel for the people who suffer from this debilitating disease. Nothing is as it appears to them; there are always hidden agendas and ulterior motives. Her problems started early on in the the dark ages of psychotherapy so it wasn't viewed as humanely as today. What was done and not done would be viewed as a crime today. Her parents, especially her father, were not much help and probably contributed to an already bad problem. Her saving grace lay in her twin sister who stuck by her and tried to help. Please never let me or anyone I love get this traumatic disease.
shanameydala's review against another edition
3.0
Pamela Spiro Wagner is a wonderful writer, she captures what it is like to experience schizophrenic episodes and hospital stay after hospital stay. This is not an easy book to read, so I don't feel comfortable recommending it. But if you want to get inside look of mental illness this is the place to start.
allisonbeever's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
slow-paced
3.0
soulfulsin's review against another edition
5.0
At times difficult to read, this book is nonetheless amazing. Pamela's POV particularly can be grueling, if only because it offers such a stark, unapologetic look at schizophrenia. It was both amazing and disconcerting to be stuck in her head and the moments with Carolyn were a reprieve at times and annoying at others.
Still, what an amazing book. I started it yesterday and burned through it. It's been a while since I've read a book with such passion.
Mmm. This book had been on my TBR for ages. I'm glad I picked it up.
Still, what an amazing book. I started it yesterday and burned through it. It's been a while since I've read a book with such passion.
Mmm. This book had been on my TBR for ages. I'm glad I picked it up.
sbar713's review against another edition
5.0
Beautifully written and heartbreaking, this book takes the reader on a roller coaster through the world of mental illness from within and without. I can’t imagine a more perfect telling of the story of what psychosis does to a person and those closest to them than this one, written from the point of view of twins, one on the inside and one on the outside of schizophrenia.