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The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck
2 reviews
arrr's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
4.5
I really didn't like the first half of this book the first time I read it. The spirituality and use of Dante's "Dark Wood of Error" didn't connect. I put the book aside for a bit and returned later to finish the second half. That half hooked me, and I immediately re-listened to the entire thing the following day. The first half was much better on second listen.
Chapter 10: No Turning Back is where the book really started to connect for me. At the 5:22:10 mark, she talks about the mental martial arts we do turn push-back to our advantage. When we quit lying and live in integrity, folks might get upset, jealous, or scared. They might try to trick us, bribe us, gift us, tempt us to keep from changing. If that doesn't work, they might shame, blame, control, or lash out. This is called the "change back attack" and it is an opportunity to use their perception of us to identify areas we've made progress. Their discomfort points to where we've changed.
Towards the end of the book, Beck lists reminders to summarize the book's lessons.
1. Notice and immediately address personal suffering (dark wood of error symptoms). Self care or bust.
2. Connect frequently to "soul teachers" in person, through books, online, etc...
3. Connect to yourself and your truth every day. Notice what is true and in alignment and what thoughts are fragmented and off-centre.
4. Leave social pressure behind and check in with own self truth any time you feel confused.
5. Acknowledge and own mistakes immediately.
6. "Abandon all cowardice" by breaking through denial, acknowledging errors, and moving bravely to a more honest position.
7. Remain open to your beliefs being wrong when presented new evidence.
8. Let go of mistakes.
9. Stop "othering" people and adding to divisiveness. Embrace the connectedness and unity of existence.
10. Find creative generative outlets for justice rather than destructive ones.
11. Refuse to betray yourself by believing anything that causes suffering.
12. Don't believe things onto yourself. Find where you fit in your truth, don't fit yourself into the wrong space and believe there's something wrong with your for feeling discomfort there.
13. Once you find clarity, refuse to lit! Silence can be a lie. Way what you mean when it feels right, and when it is safe to do so. Be aware of social prejudices that could hurt you if you are honest to the wrong person. Get yourself to a place of safety if possible.
14. Spend time doing or moving toward what you really want.
15. Be transparent. Hide less of yourself. Some folks will be astonished with your choices. Let them separate from you. Let the gratified bond. Gather likeminded community.
16. Active listening and acceptance. Let yourself feel energized.
17. Forgive yourself imperfections on your journey. Let go of mistakes. (I like how that one is repeated since it's so hard to do)
18. Value all deeds in accordance with your sense of truth.
19. Serve the world in a way that increases your own happiness.
20. "I can't believe I get to do this" as the goal.
21. Whatever you do to heal the world will match your true nature and replace your dark wood of error.
There's a bit of a white saviour safari vibe toward the end, and I'm still not super keen on the miracle spirituality lean, but overall I am happy with the lessons and storytelling. The last 4 minutes reconnected me to those still moments in my life and had me in tears full of joy and hope. Definitely worth a listen.
Chapter 10: No Turning Back is where the book really started to connect for me. At the 5:22:10 mark, she talks about the mental martial arts we do turn push-back to our advantage. When we quit lying and live in integrity, folks might get upset, jealous, or scared. They might try to trick us, bribe us, gift us, tempt us to keep from changing. If that doesn't work, they might shame, blame, control, or lash out. This is called the "change back attack" and it is an opportunity to use their perception of us to identify areas we've made progress. Their discomfort points to where we've changed.
Towards the end of the book, Beck lists reminders to summarize the book's lessons.
1. Notice and immediately address personal suffering (dark wood of error symptoms). Self care or bust.
2. Connect frequently to "soul teachers" in person, through books, online, etc...
3. Connect to yourself and your truth every day. Notice what is true and in alignment and what thoughts are fragmented and off-centre.
4. Leave social pressure behind and check in with own self truth any time you feel confused.
5. Acknowledge and own mistakes immediately.
6. "Abandon all cowardice" by breaking through denial, acknowledging errors, and moving bravely to a more honest position.
7. Remain open to your beliefs being wrong when presented new evidence.
8. Let go of mistakes.
9. Stop "othering" people and adding to divisiveness. Embrace the connectedness and unity of existence.
10. Find creative generative outlets for justice rather than destructive ones.
11. Refuse to betray yourself by believing anything that causes suffering.
12. Don't believe things onto yourself. Find where you fit in your truth, don't fit yourself into the wrong space and believe there's something wrong with your for feeling discomfort there.
13. Once you find clarity, refuse to lit! Silence can be a lie. Way what you mean when it feels right, and when it is safe to do so. Be aware of social prejudices that could hurt you if you are honest to the wrong person. Get yourself to a place of safety if possible.
14. Spend time doing or moving toward what you really want.
15. Be transparent. Hide less of yourself. Some folks will be astonished with your choices. Let them separate from you. Let the gratified bond. Gather likeminded community.
16. Active listening and acceptance. Let yourself feel energized.
17. Forgive yourself imperfections on your journey. Let go of mistakes. (I like how that one is repeated since it's so hard to do)
18. Value all deeds in accordance with your sense of truth.
19. Serve the world in a way that increases your own happiness.
20. "I can't believe I get to do this" as the goal.
21. Whatever you do to heal the world will match your true nature and replace your dark wood of error.
There's a bit of a white saviour safari vibe toward the end, and I'm still not super keen on the miracle spirituality lean, but overall I am happy with the lessons and storytelling. The last 4 minutes reconnected me to those still moments in my life and had me in tears full of joy and hope. Definitely worth a listen.
Content Warnings
Minor: Chronic illness, Cancer, Death of parent, Drug use, Alcohol, Medical content, Rape, Religious bigotry, Incest, Pregnancy, and Suicidal thoughts
audiem's review
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Ableism, Biphobia, Bullying, Child abuse, Physical abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Medical trauma, Incest, Gaslighting, Dysphoria, Death of parent, Sexual assault, Sexism, Lesbophobia, Adult/minor relationship, Religious bigotry, and Medical content
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