Reviews tagging 'Adult/minor relationship'

In the Dream House: A Memoir by Carmen Maria Machado

54 reviews

alloftaysreads's review against another edition

dark emotional sad fast-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Domestic abuse, Cursing, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Sexual violence, Religious bigotry, Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, Homophobia, Emotional abuse, and Sexual assault

Minor: Adult/minor relationship

klsreads's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

In the Dream House is a masterpiece. Told in vignettes structured around literature tropes, this memoir follows the rise and fall of a profoundly abusive relationship. Machado is brave, vulnerable, and unflinchingly honest as she exposes the abuse she suffered across a 2 year relationship with another woman. She asks: if we view queer relationships as utopia divorced from patriarchy and hierarchy, are we being homophobic? Are lesbians not humans - complex, hurting, and capable of inflicting extreme harm? If we flatten a group of people into a monolith, we dehumanize them. This book is a necessary addition to the growing work on the incidence of abuse in queer relationships.

I've never read anything quite like this - I loved the vignette narrative structure. The book moved quickly because most sections were short. A couple of the tropes dragged on for me/didn't hit 100%, but I was enthralled and could hardly put it down. A few standouts for me - "Dream House as Deja Vu" (x3), "Dream House as Queer Villainy" (!!!), "Dream House as Bluebeard", "Dream House as the River Lethe", "Dream House as Choose Your Own Adventure" ...... ok, I have to stop or I'm going to quote half of this work.

Even more wild: I was in Iowa City as an undergrad during the events of this book. Did I see Carmen and the Woman from the Dream House at a coffee shop, at Obama's speech, in a bookstore? It makes me shiver, the ways people suffer out of view.

Brilliant. Carmen Maria Machado is an absolute force and a genius of prose and innovative structure. I HIGHLY recommend this book, but mind the CW's. Machado doesn't shy away from the gore at the heart of her story. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Drug use, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Grief, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Lesbophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Vomit, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual violence, Blood, Violence, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Abandonment, Alcohol, Bullying, Confinement, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Rape, and Sexual content

Moderate: Biphobia, Car accident, Adult/minor relationship, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Animal death, Cancer, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and Gun violence

finleigh's review against another edition

dark emotional tense medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse and Sexual content

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Fatphobia, and Homophobia

iswearimliterate's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative reflective tense fast-paced

5.0

This book is excellent, heartbreaking and full of as much tension as hope. The writing style and repeated references to fairy tales (placing the understudied world of queer relationship abuse into a timeless context) really ground it as being not only harrowing for its content, but also in the diversity of emotions that Machado can conjure. Abuse is never a straight line, full of false breakups, moments of hope, and even love, or what you’ve convinced yourself is love. Top-tier.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, and Body shaming

Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Sexual content, Mental illness, Gaslighting, and Sexual violence

Minor: Adult/minor relationship and Pregnancy

shmegsreadz's review against another edition

dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

a mournful, gutting, soaring reprise of abuse in a lesbian relationship. as a lesbian, neoteric and unwilted, this is the most important book i have read in some time. i am forever grateful to machado for offering me insight into something i’m sure i would never be able to understand unless i lived through the experience, “you can be hurt by people who look just like you. not only can it happen, it probably will, because the world is full of hurt people who hurt people. even if the dominant culture considers you an anomaly, that doesn’t mean you can’t be common, common as fucking dirt,” (232). her prose is warm and every metaphor, reference, and motif is expertly tied to her point. what a beautiful thing; “book” feels like an underscore. this is advice and vulnerability. i will treasure my copy. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Sexual assault and Sexual content

Minor: Adult/minor relationship and Vomit

good_names_dont_exist's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

4.75

Second person perspective, if you don’t like don’t read.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Gaslighting, Homophobia, and Biphobia

Minor: Adult/minor relationship

mirandalikesbooks's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense slow-paced

5.0

This was one of the most beautiful books I've ever read. 

The thing that sets this book apart is the way it was written. The tone feels like poetry while equally being digestible and readable. The switch between first and second person was such an interesting way to tell a story. The "I" was disconnected from the "you" but still told told a cohesive account of Machado's story. The you chapters invited the reader in to examine the parts of their reality that they are disconnected from too. 

This perspective on domestic abuse intersected with queer culture intersected with fat culture and with religious trauma is engaging and terrible and inspiring. 

A wonderful read. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Addiction, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual content, Stalking, Bullying, Lesbophobia, Religious bigotry, Sexual assault, Alcoholism, Drug use, Gaslighting, and Homophobia

Moderate: Fatphobia and Body shaming

Minor: Panic attacks/disorders, Infidelity, and Mental illness

handful_of_frogs's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad tense medium-paced

3.75

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Homophobia, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Classism, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Alcohol, Body shaming, Bullying, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, and Gaslighting

yourbookishbff's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

5.0

In the Dream House felt so reminiscent to me of Children of the Land, in that both memoirs are non-linear and episodic, weaving truth abstractly to allow for a retelling of significant trauma. The use of horror devices - and the eery symbolism of the dream house - underscore the constant suspense and fear Machado experienced within an abusive relationship with her female partner. Her narrative creates new space for accounting trauma within queer relationships, and she incorporates historical discussions of intimate partner abuse in queer relationships and research into its prevalence. 

This narrative structure also helps the reader understand the slow boil of abuse and sheds light on the ways people wield power within relationships. It is a heart wrenching examination of the isolation, emotional manipulation, bullying and gaslighting of emotional abuse in particular. I also really appreciated the reflections on language and pop culture (the origin story of the term gaslighting was new to me and fascinating).

This is a horrifying and beautifully written memoir that will resonate with those who appreciate nonlinear reflections. I particularly loved the use of second person to address her younger self, and the simultaneous distance and intimacy this created for her as she examines this part of her life. 

I would also note that the audiobook is narrated by Machado and I highly recommend this format.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse

Moderate: Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Alcohol, Biphobia, Fatphobia, Adult/minor relationship, and Sexual content

mald626's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, and Homophobia

Moderate: Sexual assault, Fatphobia, Vomit, Violence, Adult/minor relationship, and Infidelity

Minor: Dementia and Fire/Fire injury