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coralcrab77's review against another edition
I couldn't get into the writing style. I also didn't relate much to her story or experience. Wasn't for me.
coralinejones's review
2.0
Meh. I've heard a bit about this book before picking it up (really just "OMG, this BTS member likes this book!"), and admittedly I didn't really look into it past the he-said-she-said, so my fault.
I didn't expect the literal transcripts between the author and her therapist. I also didn't take into account the VAST cultural differences between mental health awareness where I'm from, and how mental health is viewed in South Korea. I'm vaguely aware of the catching up SK has to do in regards to mental health and, while I wish I could say this book helped me learn more about how, particularly women, deal with mental health in that country, this almost reassured what I already know about how they treat depression, anxiety, etc over there.
I didn't really agree much with what her therapist had told her, nor did I enjoy the literal transcript format this book had to offer. While I share similar depressive traits with the author, I didn't like the advice her therapist gave her, or how she treated her friends and others during the duration of this book. But, alas, we are all not the same.
The descriptions of depression are pretty universal and I think anyone can relate and find some warmth in knowing they're not alone. That you don't have to come from the same place or from the same background to experience these traits.
This fell short for me, unfortunately.
I didn't expect the literal transcripts between the author and her therapist. I also didn't take into account the VAST cultural differences between mental health awareness where I'm from, and how mental health is viewed in South Korea. I'm vaguely aware of the catching up SK has to do in regards to mental health and, while I wish I could say this book helped me learn more about how, particularly women, deal with mental health in that country, this almost reassured what I already know about how they treat depression, anxiety, etc over there.
I didn't really agree much with what her therapist had told her, nor did I enjoy the literal transcript format this book had to offer. While I share similar depressive traits with the author, I didn't like the advice her therapist gave her, or how she treated her friends and others during the duration of this book. But, alas, we are all not the same.
The descriptions of depression are pretty universal and I think anyone can relate and find some warmth in knowing they're not alone. That you don't have to come from the same place or from the same background to experience these traits.
This fell short for me, unfortunately.
sdloomer's review
4.0
I don't know how to put in words what I'm feeling after reading this memoir, but it's probably along the lines of "I am unsettled by how much I understand this complete stranger's feelings of self-worth (or lack thereof) and anxiety."
It seems a lot of previous readers were hoping for some kind of "happy ending" to the author's sessions, some kind of "look how much we talked, look at these heavy topics we covered, look at how we fixed me", when in reality, twelve therapy sessions does absolutely f*** all to change someone's way of thinking that has been ingrained and beaten into them for thirty years. If that were the case, therapy wouldn't have so much stigma surrounding it and everyone would be doing it. To me, this book is only the beginning of a mental transformation that will undoubtedly take another thirty years to (maybe) complete. I'm not saying that the readers who were hoping for this are delusional. But I am saying that people heal in different ways, and the way the author has gone about beginning and trying to might be extremely different or even downright incredible to others.
I was also curious about how therapy and psychiatry is treated in Korea (my own place of birth, as well), and by reading this found it to be so very different than here in America. Therapy, for me, was a thing of shame but also a safe place where my parents weren't allowed to be in, thus creating that weird "thinking in extremes" the author's psychiatrist mentions so often.
I will almost absolutely be reading the second book once it comes out this year, if only to continue to reaffirm my relief that there are people in the world who look like me also feel like me, and it's not something to be ashamed of.
That, and I need to return to therapy.
It seems a lot of previous readers were hoping for some kind of "happy ending" to the author's sessions, some kind of "look how much we talked, look at these heavy topics we covered, look at how we fixed me", when in reality, twelve therapy sessions does absolutely f*** all to change someone's way of thinking that has been ingrained and beaten into them for thirty years. If that were the case, therapy wouldn't have so much stigma surrounding it and everyone would be doing it. To me, this book is only the beginning of a mental transformation that will undoubtedly take another thirty years to (maybe) complete. I'm not saying that the readers who were hoping for this are delusional. But I am saying that people heal in different ways, and the way the author has gone about beginning and trying to might be extremely different or even downright incredible to others.
I was also curious about how therapy and psychiatry is treated in Korea (my own place of birth, as well), and by reading this found it to be so very different than here in America. Therapy, for me, was a thing of shame but also a safe place where my parents weren't allowed to be in, thus creating that weird "thinking in extremes" the author's psychiatrist mentions so often.
I will almost absolutely be reading the second book once it comes out this year, if only to continue to reaffirm my relief that there are people in the world who look like me also feel like me, and it's not something to be ashamed of.
That, and I need to return to therapy.
loinereads's review
I got so BORED.
I really wanted to go through with this book as I am going to therapy myself, I thought it would be comforting to hear about someone else’s trauma and difficulties with self esteem and anxiety.
But the main character’s problems felt very frivolous to me. I absolutely lacked empathy and even though I can understand the extent of help this book could bring to some people, it’s just not for me.
I feel very respectful still towards the author because it mustn’t have been easy to keep track of all these sessions and confide through a book that can be read by so much.
As I listened to the audiobook, I just felt like I was feeling worse than ever (when in reality not at all! I am fine considering everything I’ve been through) but I kept comparing my own experiences to the ones told in this book and I kept making me feel worse.
I think it’s definitely a book for people who know something’s wrong with their approach of life and social engagement and want to have a starting point of understanding the causes and maybe even get some tools to deal with their existential dread but It might really be boring for people who understand their trauma and already have some tools to deal with them.
I really wanted to go through with this book as I am going to therapy myself, I thought it would be comforting to hear about someone else’s trauma and difficulties with self esteem and anxiety.
But the main character’s problems felt very frivolous to me. I absolutely lacked empathy and even though I can understand the extent of help this book could bring to some people, it’s just not for me.
I feel very respectful still towards the author because it mustn’t have been easy to keep track of all these sessions and confide through a book that can be read by so much.
As I listened to the audiobook, I just felt like I was feeling worse than ever (when in reality not at all! I am fine considering everything I’ve been through) but I kept comparing my own experiences to the ones told in this book and I kept making me feel worse.
I think it’s definitely a book for people who know something’s wrong with their approach of life and social engagement and want to have a starting point of understanding the causes and maybe even get some tools to deal with their existential dread but It might really be boring for people who understand their trauma and already have some tools to deal with them.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Abandonment
Minor: Mental illness and Child abuse
sumru's review against another edition
3.0
When I started this book I didn't know it only consisted of transcripts of the author's therapy sessions. Although I found some parts interesting it was also quite boring in other parts because we didn't get a lot of backstory etc.
My favorite quotes:
"That's exactly it. What matters isn't what people say but what you like and find joy in. I hope you focus less on how you look to other people and more on fulfilling your true desires."
"What I'm saying is, don't compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to your past self."
"Liking someone and putting them on a pedestal can lead to self-castigation. Even if the physical distance between two people lessens, the psychological distance can increase. That can lead to feelings of inferiority. You think, This person will try to distance herself from me, and you provoke them into confirming whether this is true - either by asking the person, or indirectly."
"You keep obsessively holding yourself to these idealised standards, forcingyourself to fit them. It's another way, among many, for you to keep punishing yourself."
My favorite quotes:
"That's exactly it. What matters isn't what people say but what you like and find joy in. I hope you focus less on how you look to other people and more on fulfilling your true desires."
"What I'm saying is, don't compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to your past self."
"Liking someone and putting them on a pedestal can lead to self-castigation. Even if the physical distance between two people lessens, the psychological distance can increase. That can lead to feelings of inferiority. You think, This person will try to distance herself from me, and you provoke them into confirming whether this is true - either by asking the person, or indirectly."
"You keep obsessively holding yourself to these idealised standards, forcingyourself to fit them. It's another way, among many, for you to keep punishing yourself."
dhiby's review
emotional
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
3.5
definitely a good and chill read from someone who wants to understand (a less extreme) depression, with an asian pov.
the psychiatrist did mention that the situation could have been handled better but personally i could not see how but obviously im not a licensed psychiatrist.
Content Warnings
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
bookstorm_'s review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
3.5
It is a book that conveys a lot of feeling. The author has opened herself up and let her innermost thoughts and feelings come out. But there are parts of the story that for me are a bit chaotic and I can't empathise.
This book has made me think, both about my own behaviours and thoughts and those of the people around me and has allowed me to reflect on mental health, which I liked a lot, but I lacked the details to be able to put myself completely in her shoes, but it is true that being a real person and not a fictional one, giving so many details of your life can be very hard.
It is possible that I also lacked knowledge of Korean culture and what it is like to grow up in an environment like the one described by the author.
This book has made me think, both about my own behaviours and thoughts and those of the people around me and has allowed me to reflect on mental health, which I liked a lot, but I lacked the details to be able to put myself completely in her shoes, but it is true that being a real person and not a fictional one, giving so many details of your life can be very hard.
It is possible that I also lacked knowledge of Korean culture and what it is like to grow up in an environment like the one described by the author.
cass_lit's review against another edition
3.0
This was kind of a polarizing read for me personally. I didn’t realize it was a memoir until I started it, but that originally just made me more excited to read it. I liked a lot of the points, and I think the book’s biggest achievement is its vulnerability. Other people share all of the thoughts and feelings of the author (myself included on some!), and it’s great to have a resource to know you’re not alone.
However, I do think the nature of the memoir — a snippet of therapy sessions — does a disservice to some of the issues discussed. We get a tiny glimpse into her therapist’s advice, which is obviously going to be individualized and personal, but no broader level reflection or work towards “fixing” anything. There’s a lot of talk about body dysmorphia for example, and all I’m left with is that the author hasn’t fixed hers, I haven’t fixed mine, and now I know that at least some people with it are judging others on their appearance despite dealing with the same struggles! Some of the discussions just left me with a poor taste. Also, the therapist’s note at the end had me so confused…I know she knew she was being recorded, but to find out she had no idea her words would be published?!? Crazy to me.
One thing to also note is that this work is translated and is set in Korea, so these very personal issues will obviously be influenced by the culture the author grew up in. The obsession with physical appearance (and the directness in commenting on others’), for example, is very prevalent in Korea but may not be so everywhere else. Same thing with their views on social issues. I had to kind of readjust my knee-jerk reaction to certain parts of this, keeping that in mind.
However, I do think the nature of the memoir — a snippet of therapy sessions — does a disservice to some of the issues discussed. We get a tiny glimpse into her therapist’s advice, which is obviously going to be individualized and personal, but no broader level reflection or work towards “fixing” anything. There’s a lot of talk about body dysmorphia for example, and all I’m left with is that the author hasn’t fixed hers, I haven’t fixed mine, and now I know that at least some people with it are judging others on their appearance despite dealing with the same struggles! Some of the discussions just left me with a poor taste. Also, the therapist’s note at the end had me so confused…I know she knew she was being recorded, but to find out she had no idea her words would be published?!? Crazy to me.
One thing to also note is that this work is translated and is set in Korea, so these very personal issues will obviously be influenced by the culture the author grew up in. The obsession with physical appearance (and the directness in commenting on others’), for example, is very prevalent in Korea but may not be so everywhere else. Same thing with their views on social issues. I had to kind of readjust my knee-jerk reaction to certain parts of this, keeping that in mind.
chaptersofapril's review against another edition
2.0
meh. Superfluous metaphors to talk about insecurities common among people. There are good reflections that ressonated with me and made me journal and develop my own reflections, but there is no further insight and the therapist’s comments or “solutions” (because they are not so) are quite obvious and not eye-opening as I expected. I also found it quite grave the fact that there are names for every little problem, categorizing them into disorders. And let’s not addresss the med issue… oh gosh. The writer is definitely creative but she really needs to believe in herself and overcome those insecurities cmon