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xliliths's review
4.0
very good but also very painful. I've never read a book like this and it was very emotional for me, because I felt like the author was really just speaking about my feelings and it was very hard to see written down!
elwirax's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
2.5
Unfortunately, this book lacked the depth the topic warranted. I suspect this may be due to cultural differences and approaches to discussing mental health. I thought the reflective parts were perhaps the strongest areas of this book and the transcripts were the weakest. I took issue with some of the advice given by the psychiatrist and it's impact on the one step forward two steps back nature of the author's 10 year therapy process. Due to the shallow advice given, the author would recognise patterns and behaviours but would not be given proper ways to manage or mitigate them. However, I empathised with the author's experiences and her willingness to express them and believe that this book is valuable in its discussion.
hnj1512's review
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
A brilliant and relatable book, it sheds light on an experience I can relate to but presents it in a way that does feel too informative or clinical.
roses_and_alice's review
Incredibly boring conversations which seem to go nowhere.
coralcrab77's review against another edition
I couldn't get into the writing style. I also didn't relate much to her story or experience. Wasn't for me.
coralinejones's review
2.0
Meh. I've heard a bit about this book before picking it up (really just "OMG, this BTS member likes this book!"), and admittedly I didn't really look into it past the he-said-she-said, so my fault.
I didn't expect the literal transcripts between the author and her therapist. I also didn't take into account the VAST cultural differences between mental health awareness where I'm from, and how mental health is viewed in South Korea. I'm vaguely aware of the catching up SK has to do in regards to mental health and, while I wish I could say this book helped me learn more about how, particularly women, deal with mental health in that country, this almost reassured what I already know about how they treat depression, anxiety, etc over there.
I didn't really agree much with what her therapist had told her, nor did I enjoy the literal transcript format this book had to offer. While I share similar depressive traits with the author, I didn't like the advice her therapist gave her, or how she treated her friends and others during the duration of this book. But, alas, we are all not the same.
The descriptions of depression are pretty universal and I think anyone can relate and find some warmth in knowing they're not alone. That you don't have to come from the same place or from the same background to experience these traits.
This fell short for me, unfortunately.
I didn't expect the literal transcripts between the author and her therapist. I also didn't take into account the VAST cultural differences between mental health awareness where I'm from, and how mental health is viewed in South Korea. I'm vaguely aware of the catching up SK has to do in regards to mental health and, while I wish I could say this book helped me learn more about how, particularly women, deal with mental health in that country, this almost reassured what I already know about how they treat depression, anxiety, etc over there.
I didn't really agree much with what her therapist had told her, nor did I enjoy the literal transcript format this book had to offer. While I share similar depressive traits with the author, I didn't like the advice her therapist gave her, or how she treated her friends and others during the duration of this book. But, alas, we are all not the same.
The descriptions of depression are pretty universal and I think anyone can relate and find some warmth in knowing they're not alone. That you don't have to come from the same place or from the same background to experience these traits.
This fell short for me, unfortunately.
sdloomer's review
4.0
I don't know how to put in words what I'm feeling after reading this memoir, but it's probably along the lines of "I am unsettled by how much I understand this complete stranger's feelings of self-worth (or lack thereof) and anxiety."
It seems a lot of previous readers were hoping for some kind of "happy ending" to the author's sessions, some kind of "look how much we talked, look at these heavy topics we covered, look at how we fixed me", when in reality, twelve therapy sessions does absolutely f*** all to change someone's way of thinking that has been ingrained and beaten into them for thirty years. If that were the case, therapy wouldn't have so much stigma surrounding it and everyone would be doing it. To me, this book is only the beginning of a mental transformation that will undoubtedly take another thirty years to (maybe) complete. I'm not saying that the readers who were hoping for this are delusional. But I am saying that people heal in different ways, and the way the author has gone about beginning and trying to might be extremely different or even downright incredible to others.
I was also curious about how therapy and psychiatry is treated in Korea (my own place of birth, as well), and by reading this found it to be so very different than here in America. Therapy, for me, was a thing of shame but also a safe place where my parents weren't allowed to be in, thus creating that weird "thinking in extremes" the author's psychiatrist mentions so often.
I will almost absolutely be reading the second book once it comes out this year, if only to continue to reaffirm my relief that there are people in the world who look like me also feel like me, and it's not something to be ashamed of.
That, and I need to return to therapy.
It seems a lot of previous readers were hoping for some kind of "happy ending" to the author's sessions, some kind of "look how much we talked, look at these heavy topics we covered, look at how we fixed me", when in reality, twelve therapy sessions does absolutely f*** all to change someone's way of thinking that has been ingrained and beaten into them for thirty years. If that were the case, therapy wouldn't have so much stigma surrounding it and everyone would be doing it. To me, this book is only the beginning of a mental transformation that will undoubtedly take another thirty years to (maybe) complete. I'm not saying that the readers who were hoping for this are delusional. But I am saying that people heal in different ways, and the way the author has gone about beginning and trying to might be extremely different or even downright incredible to others.
I was also curious about how therapy and psychiatry is treated in Korea (my own place of birth, as well), and by reading this found it to be so very different than here in America. Therapy, for me, was a thing of shame but also a safe place where my parents weren't allowed to be in, thus creating that weird "thinking in extremes" the author's psychiatrist mentions so often.
I will almost absolutely be reading the second book once it comes out this year, if only to continue to reaffirm my relief that there are people in the world who look like me also feel like me, and it's not something to be ashamed of.
That, and I need to return to therapy.
loinereads's review
I got so BORED.
I really wanted to go through with this book as I am going to therapy myself, I thought it would be comforting to hear about someone else’s trauma and difficulties with self esteem and anxiety.
But the main character’s problems felt very frivolous to me. I absolutely lacked empathy and even though I can understand the extent of help this book could bring to some people, it’s just not for me.
I feel very respectful still towards the author because it mustn’t have been easy to keep track of all these sessions and confide through a book that can be read by so much.
As I listened to the audiobook, I just felt like I was feeling worse than ever (when in reality not at all! I am fine considering everything I’ve been through) but I kept comparing my own experiences to the ones told in this book and I kept making me feel worse.
I think it’s definitely a book for people who know something’s wrong with their approach of life and social engagement and want to have a starting point of understanding the causes and maybe even get some tools to deal with their existential dread but It might really be boring for people who understand their trauma and already have some tools to deal with them.
I really wanted to go through with this book as I am going to therapy myself, I thought it would be comforting to hear about someone else’s trauma and difficulties with self esteem and anxiety.
But the main character’s problems felt very frivolous to me. I absolutely lacked empathy and even though I can understand the extent of help this book could bring to some people, it’s just not for me.
I feel very respectful still towards the author because it mustn’t have been easy to keep track of all these sessions and confide through a book that can be read by so much.
As I listened to the audiobook, I just felt like I was feeling worse than ever (when in reality not at all! I am fine considering everything I’ve been through) but I kept comparing my own experiences to the ones told in this book and I kept making me feel worse.
I think it’s definitely a book for people who know something’s wrong with their approach of life and social engagement and want to have a starting point of understanding the causes and maybe even get some tools to deal with their existential dread but It might really be boring for people who understand their trauma and already have some tools to deal with them.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Abandonment
Minor: Mental illness and Child abuse
sumru's review against another edition
3.0
When I started this book I didn't know it only consisted of transcripts of the author's therapy sessions. Although I found some parts interesting it was also quite boring in other parts because we didn't get a lot of backstory etc.
My favorite quotes:
"That's exactly it. What matters isn't what people say but what you like and find joy in. I hope you focus less on how you look to other people and more on fulfilling your true desires."
"What I'm saying is, don't compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to your past self."
"Liking someone and putting them on a pedestal can lead to self-castigation. Even if the physical distance between two people lessens, the psychological distance can increase. That can lead to feelings of inferiority. You think, This person will try to distance herself from me, and you provoke them into confirming whether this is true - either by asking the person, or indirectly."
"You keep obsessively holding yourself to these idealised standards, forcingyourself to fit them. It's another way, among many, for you to keep punishing yourself."
My favorite quotes:
"That's exactly it. What matters isn't what people say but what you like and find joy in. I hope you focus less on how you look to other people and more on fulfilling your true desires."
"What I'm saying is, don't compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to your past self."
"Liking someone and putting them on a pedestal can lead to self-castigation. Even if the physical distance between two people lessens, the psychological distance can increase. That can lead to feelings of inferiority. You think, This person will try to distance herself from me, and you provoke them into confirming whether this is true - either by asking the person, or indirectly."
"You keep obsessively holding yourself to these idealised standards, forcingyourself to fit them. It's another way, among many, for you to keep punishing yourself."