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spudsimple's review
3.0
The update of this book needs an update. It feels incredibly dated in both the most benign of ways (encouraging you to check out the “‘Net” for resources) and the most problematic of ways (please do not casually drop the question “don’t you wish there were more slaves around here?” at a music festival to see if any of the hotties around you are into kink). So take that for what you will. I also found that attempts to be inclusive were lacking. Lots of references to binaries and as an asexual lady interested in kink much of the book just didn’t land for me.
Oh, and the spiritual section...it’s your standard cultural appropriation.
I guess I wanted more of a how-to book on how to tap into my inner Domme, which is not the purpose of this book. Great discussions around communication and consent, however it felt repetitive towards the end and there is a definite focus on specified role playing instead of just bringing in dom and sub personas into existing relationships/dynamics.
Oh, and the spiritual section...it’s your standard cultural appropriation.
I guess I wanted more of a how-to book on how to tap into my inner Domme, which is not the purpose of this book. Great discussions around communication and consent, however it felt repetitive towards the end and there is a definite focus on specified role playing instead of just bringing in dom and sub personas into existing relationships/dynamics.
sadienightshade's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
alekz's review
informative
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
Really informative and eye opening.
For people for whom this could be sensitive I wanted to say that the authors use the word/fantasy “slave” “master” at points throughout the book, and once, in reference to potentially taboo cultural/race play, the n word.
The authors are white. There is a section where the authors cite feedback and conversations they’ve had with kinksters of color as well.
For people for whom this could be sensitive I wanted to say that the authors use the word/fantasy “slave” “master” at points throughout the book, and once, in reference to potentially taboo cultural/race play, the n word.
The authors are white. There is a section where the authors cite feedback and conversations they’ve had with kinksters of color as well.
ominousspectre's review
2.0
This is a tough one. The first several chapters I found incredibly useful. And I'm glad I read it overall, but I had some issues with it.
Since it's older, it's obviously a bit outdated and not the most inclusive (the pronouns Jesus just use they/them for everything).
And while I get that it's meant to be a beginner's coverage of a lot of topics, I found that it so often focused on one type of BDSM. The later chapters seems to only focus on that or are so general/repetitive that I'm gaining nothing from them.
I don't know. I'm conflicted as some aspects of the beginning we're really helpful to me as more of a newcomer, but the rest felt a bit like being talked down to if that makes sense.
Since it's older, it's obviously a bit outdated and not the most inclusive (the pronouns Jesus just use they/them for everything).
And while I get that it's meant to be a beginner's coverage of a lot of topics, I found that it so often focused on one type of BDSM. The later chapters seems to only focus on that or are so general/repetitive that I'm gaining nothing from them.
I don't know. I'm conflicted as some aspects of the beginning we're really helpful to me as more of a newcomer, but the rest felt a bit like being talked down to if that makes sense.
readingforesttime's review against another edition
informative
slow-paced
2.5
Written for newcomers to bdsm/kink scene who are interested in party play, this book pays lip service to the variety of draws and experiences of sexuality, but addresses only the narrowest selection while failing to acknowledge this shortsightedness. The first portion is worth a read for anyone. The last 60% of the book is not seriously useful for anyone who has studied already and is uninterested in group sex or bdsm parties. Overall disappointed with how this book is touted as a must read for newcomers to kink. Final chapter soured me significantly with discussion of sex as permeating everything - it does not and it should not. The authors were looking for the idea of permeating intimacy and connection, not sexuality. Kudos for illustrative examples that almost made the group-dynamic focused sections worth the reading. Would not recommend to the majority of people.