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toffishay's review against another edition
informative
slow-paced
2.0
I understand what the authors are attempting to explore and I find it to be a worthy endeavor, but I really wanted more from this book. The explorations of the potential biology of revenge and retaliation were thorough and had, I felt, appropriate caveats. But the other perspectives were touched on far too lightly and with dated perspectives. <SPOILER> I was particularly disappointed by the psychiatric perspectives at the end of the book and an uncritical citation of Freakanomics <END SPOILER>. There are pieces of the book that I think are worthwhile, but I am more interested in following up on some other works in this same topic area.
socraticgadfly's review against another edition
5.0
Basically, though neither of the husband-and-wife team of authors uses the phrase, this book is a backgrounder evolutionary psychology done right, with a full course of social psychology, on why people usally act back ... in one of three ways ... when attacked either physically or verbally/emotionally.
The "ev psych done right"? Briefly, the authors note that many animals either retaliate against aggression or else redirect it lower down the food chain while we (and chimpanzees) are the only ones so far known to also use revenge. From there, they look at how this affects/relieves stress, in both humans and other animals.
Then it's on to the human social psychology. They ask how this affects ideas of "justice" and more. The chapter on justice, with its looks at retributive and rehabilitative aspects of justice in light of humans' built-in payback propensities, could become a book by itself were the authors of a mind to do so.
Both in humans and animals, besides stress issues, the authors note aggression, and the various ways of dealing with it, relate closely to social status issues. they suggest this is part of why simple apologies often don't satisfy victims. Rather, whether consciously or not, victims are looking for a restoration of lost status, and perhaps a diminution of the aggressor's status. That doesn't happen after a few words.
Finally, the authors look at various religious traditions, as well as modern psychology, to suggest some ideas for forgiveness, for development of better non-retaliation skills and more.
Finally, don't just take my word for it. Any book with good blurbs by Robert Sapolsky and Frans de Wall ... another "Recommend" right there. So dive in!
The "ev psych done right"? Briefly, the authors note that many animals either retaliate against aggression or else redirect it lower down the food chain while we (and chimpanzees) are the only ones so far known to also use revenge. From there, they look at how this affects/relieves stress, in both humans and other animals.
Then it's on to the human social psychology. They ask how this affects ideas of "justice" and more. The chapter on justice, with its looks at retributive and rehabilitative aspects of justice in light of humans' built-in payback propensities, could become a book by itself were the authors of a mind to do so.
Both in humans and animals, besides stress issues, the authors note aggression, and the various ways of dealing with it, relate closely to social status issues. they suggest this is part of why simple apologies often don't satisfy victims. Rather, whether consciously or not, victims are looking for a restoration of lost status, and perhaps a diminution of the aggressor's status. That doesn't happen after a few words.
Finally, the authors look at various religious traditions, as well as modern psychology, to suggest some ideas for forgiveness, for development of better non-retaliation skills and more.
Finally, don't just take my word for it. Any book with good blurbs by Robert Sapolsky and Frans de Wall ... another "Recommend" right there. So dive in!
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