Reviews with content warning for Mental illness - Rootless

I don't know what it was that made me request this book from NetGalley originally. I'd say it was the cover (I mean, look at how gorgeous it is - so striking), but I usually at least skim the blurb...and as I started reading this, I realized that nothing about it seemed familiar. However, sometimes that's for the best. It was in this case, because I was taken completely in by the story and how much of a "surprise" everything about it was. And here we are, with me thanking whatever past self requested this book, and thanking NetGalley and the publisher (Ballantine Books) for granting it.

On a random morning in the Spring, Sam finds that his wife, Efe, has bought a one way ticket to Ghana and left him (and their 4 year old daughter), with "no warning" and no indication of when she'll be back. And we are immediately taken back in time to years before, when Efe moved from Ghana to the UK with her sister to finish her education. Struggling to adjust, and live up to her parents' expectations, Efe meets and finds comfort in Sam's steadiness and clear plans for his future. And we follow Sam and Efe throughout the years as they draft apart and are brought back together, until they eventually get married. But when they face an unplanned pregnancy, they find themselves on opposite sides of what to do next: Sam is thrilled and Efe…is not. Their choices from there lead, inexorably, to Efe fleeing her family and life back to her home country, the support of her sister, and a chance to re-find herself and ground her future in an identity that truly feels right...a future that may or may not include Sam and their child.

First and foremost, this is a *heavy* read. I am going to list all content warnings here at the beginning so that I can include them all, but hopefully without any specific plot spoilers: self-harm (cutting), pregnancy, postpartum depression, extreme bullying (including physical harm/abuse), abortion, death, car accident, stroke/recovery. I think that's the major ones? Anyways, just be aware, going in.

Into the primary review now. Most importantly, I was blown away by this debut novel. Efe is one of the most gorgeously, authentically complex female characters I have read in a long time. She is torn between so many needs and expectations, wanting to maintain relationships with those who are important to her, and facing down the burden of what society expects as well, that she just...loses herself. And even after being supported (like, with some really legitimately solid support) back into a better space, she still finds herself disappearing into that same loss of self and just cannot figure out what she needs to do or say to make her actual, personal, human, needs clear. It's heartbreaking, but so real. And when she finally makes the drastic call to leave it all, because it's that or lose it all (for real, permanently), I just was cheering for her so hard. Watching her entire journey to that juncture, she's just so recognizable (I'm projecting a bit here, but I imagine fairly universally, for women - if not in the exact details/choices she makes, in the way that external pressure to conform to expectations squeezes so much of what makes you an individual, makes you care to keep going/trying). And I loved her for that. But also, it hit me particularly hard, as her specific outlook and feelings about motherhood are very similar to my own. Seeing what happens, as the power in the pull of the tide of societal and cultural expectations, the slow slide into those expectations even if it’s not what you want (because it is overwhelming to fight against alone), leads to motherhood (and everything that happens bearing and raising a child)...it's almost exactly what I don't want, what I fear, and even though I have more clear/outspoken partner support on my behalf, reading it was still emotionally devastating.

Interestingly, I was emotionally responsive, a lot, while reading this. As a person who teaches sex ed, I was so disheartened to see how little awareness there was for pregnancy as a risk of sex, even when prevention steps are taken. I was angry at the doctor for misleading how protective birth control could be. And I was angry when Sam never really considered Efe's position after they found out, even though she had been pretty clear about her feelings. Even more angry because miscommunication is one of my least favorite romance tropes and really, these two entered a relationship while skirting around this very central issue (having kids) and just hoping and assuming the other would come around to their side...when has that ever worked? And OMG I was angry when Sam was pissed off and offended and unforgiving when Efe ended up taking decisions into her own hands because even knowing, for years, how she felt, he refused to consider any options that she needed/asked for. Like, that's not betrayal, she told you and you never even entertained it with a conversation! Get out of here with that shit. It was almost worse that he was written in so many other ways like a "perfect" guy, written as such purposefully and accurately (hats off to Appiah), yet still gave no true space to let Efe speak and act on her motherhood and mental health (and bodily and life) needs. Yikes - I got going there and it just spiraled. See? Told you I was emotionally invested. Phew!

Back to a more even-keeled area. I thought Appiah did a great job tracing the rise and fall, the ebbs and flows, of mental health challenges over the course of a lifetime with a variety of supportive styles showcased alongside. I also loved the many ways that creative outlets are highlighted as helpful in working through mental health challenges. There was a really wonderfully written literary parallel between Efe and Sam's mother, Rebecca, which did great things for the narrative development and the nuance of Sam as a character in his own right, and not just in relation to Efe. And in general, I felt like the family members for both Efe and Sam, the primary side characters in this novel, were all solid in their own rights. I also enjoyed the multicultural setting, the UK and Ghana, and how they were intertwined and both provided refuge and pressure and reinforcement in different ways, positive and not, in turn, throughout.

The sense of dread that built in me with the chapters bringing us closer to "the event" was palpable, y'all. That is quality writing. And when it happens...it's my only criticism with the book. I just. It was so good, so nuanced, so well written and developed, and I could gush for a while longer, but you get it. And then. I don't know. I'm not a writer and I assume finding the right ending is tough. But this, this was so hard for me to swallow. Like, it's not not possible. Honestly, it's believable. Things like that happen all the time, everywhere. And yet. I was so bought in to Efe and Sam and felt like I was cheated out of a real resolution. I'm trying so hard not to give spoilers (it's hard). But it just crushed the story arc for me. And I hate that that happened. Don't get me wrong though, I sure did cry. Especially at the photo scene. Ooooof. So, I guess I was still at least partially emotionally invested.

Overall, this was a surprisingly tragic, but in a very genuine real-life way, star-crossed childhood sweethearts novel. And like I said, one of the best-written female characters I have read in a long time. I can't believe this is a debut and I will be keeping my eye out for more for Appiah. If you've been considering this one, or even if you've never heard of it before but it sounds interesting, you should definitely give it a go.

"She was charmed by the notion that beauty could not be isolated from its culture or history."

"Love and regret aren't mutually exclusive."

"People - even the ones who love you - can be a weight around your neck. You just have to choose which weights you want to carry."

"I wonder why we [...] measure a woman's strength by the amount she is able to endure?"

"He is learning to throw away his plans, to let himself get swept up in all the unexpected parts of this life."

"But raw and bleeding things are still alive."

Content Warnings

fatkidatheartreads's review against another edition

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emotional sad

4.0

It is so beautiful yet so tragic. I already feel haunted by these characters and especially her. I'm going to cry myself to sleep now. Goodbye 🫂

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kerrygetsliterary's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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destheesquire's review

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challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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erickaonpaper's review

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dark reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

unsure what it is about my reading patterns this year, but really enjoying these drawn out character stories i stumble upon. a wonderful debut novel.

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secre's review

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Rootless isn't my usual type of book and yet I found myself drawn in by this tale of a marriage in crisis. There were aspects that didn't work quite as well for me; the structure of the novel being that most of the early characters flip forward by a year meant that it was difficult for me to initially engage with the characters, but once it slowed down and started taking events more gradually it became easier to engage with. I also really struggled with the ending. But by and large, the characters and the conflicts truly drew me in and I was invested in events.

As mentioned above, it did take a little work to get there though. The novel starts at five months before and we learn that Efe has taken off back to Ghana, abandoning her husband and young daughter. Sam is thrown completely off guard by this, believing that their marriage was strong and Efe was happy. We get very little explanation before the novel jumps back nineteen years to when Efe was a teenager and shipped off to Britain for schooling. You get snapshots of her life as each chapter jumps forward one year; her schooling, her struggles at university, her first job, her first partner... throughout all of this, Sam is an integral part of her life, but it isn't until a good chunk through the novel that they actually become partners and the real story begins.

I can't help but feel that a lot of the early chapters could have been missed and given as backstory throughout the main novel, rather than being used as a series of vignettes of Efe's life until her and Sam got together. Because that's where the story really gets moving and that's where it becomes engaging and engrossing. The time line slows down somewhat, more page length is given to each of the years and then it drops down to month gaps so you get a more in depth look at what's going on.

The early years of marriage lead into an unexpected pregnancy and this is where things really get sticky for Efe and Sam. Efe has always been clear that she does not want children. She doesn't want to put her life, her career, her future on hold to stay at home and look after an infant. Sam is very much the opposite. He's delighted by the pregnancy, can't even consider terminating it. And the cracks start appearing and the perfect lives they have crafted for themselves start to splinter apart.

What this novel does very well is explore both the cultural differences that can cause tension in an inter-racial marriage (in this case British Ghanaian) and the struggles of motherhood/parenting. It is a novel about regret, tradition, equality and family. Of how the burden is unequally heaps on the mother in many parenting arrangements, even when the father was the one keen to take on the responsibility of having a child. The novel slows down after Efe has her daughter, shining a spotlight on the expectations and unhappiness of this new mother as Sam loses himself in 'providing for his family'.

The countdown continues, leading up to the moment we see at the beginning of the novel where Efe throws her hands up, packs her bags and leaves. And it's easy to see that things are nowhere near as blissful as Sam would have had us believe. And if that had been the defining moment we were counting down to, with everything else being the aftermath then it would have been excellent. But the countdown continues. And the final event honestly just feels like a cop-out and is a deciding factor in my rating of this novel.

All in all, this is a promising debut, but it could have been stronger. Much of the early novel could have been amalgamated and the countdown started far later than it actually was. That would have made the timeline feel far less rushed. The characters felt realistic, and many of their actions heart-breakingly real. That doesn't always make them likeable; Sam in the later book becomes someone worth slapping in honesty. But that is also true to life. Where the novel really let itself down was the ending. I'm not sure what the counterpart of 'ex machina’ is where things resolve in a way that really resolves nothing but still in an unrealistic and sudden way, but this is kind of it...

So a mixed bag. A promising debut that could have been better.

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for my free review copy of this title.

Content Warnings

serendipitysbooks's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Rootless was a real favourite. It’s the story of Efe, a Ghanian woman living in the UK. Themes of motherhood particularly, but also marriage , mental health, migration, cultural expectations, and their intersections were explored in really powerful and unapologetic ways.The story started in the middle which grabbed my attention. Possibly a little too long and I have very mixed feelings about the ending but definitely a worthwhile read.

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liamliayaum's review

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adventurous challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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