Reviews with content warning for Suicidal thoughts - Rootless

Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

Rootless by Krystle Zara Appiah

11 reviews

clarkso6's review

dark emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

Much heavier than I expected when I picked it up. Explores postpartum depression, abortion, being forced to be a mother in specific situations and what motherhood means.

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just_one_more_paige's review

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

I don't know what it was that made me request this book from NetGalley originally. I'd say it was the cover (I mean, look at how gorgeous it is - so striking), but I usually at least skim the blurb...and as I started reading this, I realized that nothing about it seemed familiar. However, sometimes that's for the best. It was in this case, because I was taken completely in by the story and how much of a "surprise" everything about it was. And here we are, with me thanking whatever past self requested this book, and thanking NetGalley and the publisher (Ballantine Books) for granting it.

On a random morning in the Spring, Sam finds that his wife, Efe, has bought a one way ticket to Ghana and left him (and their 4 year old daughter), with "no warning" and no indication of when she'll be back. And we are immediately taken back in time to years before, when Efe moved from Ghana to the UK with her sister to finish her education. Struggling to adjust, and live up to her parents' expectations, Efe meets and finds comfort in Sam's steadiness and clear plans for his future. And we follow Sam and Efe throughout the years as they draft apart and are brought back together, until they eventually get married. But when they face an unplanned pregnancy, they find themselves on opposite sides of what to do next: Sam is thrilled and Efe…is not. Their choices from there lead, inexorably, to Efe fleeing her family and life back to her home country, the support of her sister, and a chance to re-find herself and ground her future in an identity that truly feels right...a future that may or may not include Sam and their child.

First and foremost, this is a *heavy* read. I am going to list all content warnings here at the beginning so that I can include them all, but hopefully without any specific plot spoilers: self-harm (cutting), pregnancy, postpartum depression, extreme bullying (including physical harm/abuse), abortion, death, car accident, stroke/recovery. I think that's the major ones? Anyways, just be aware, going in.

Into the primary review now. Most importantly, I was blown away by this debut novel. Efe is one of the most gorgeously, authentically complex female characters I have read in a long time. She is torn between so many needs and expectations, wanting to maintain relationships with those who are important to her, and facing down the burden of what society expects as well, that she just...loses herself. And even after being supported (like, with some really legitimately solid support) back into a better space, she still finds herself disappearing into that same loss of self and just cannot figure out what she needs to do or say to make her actual, personal, human, needs clear. It's heartbreaking, but so real. And when she finally makes the drastic call to leave it all, because it's that or lose it all (for real, permanently), I just was cheering for her so hard. Watching her entire journey to that juncture, she's just so recognizable (I'm projecting a bit here, but I imagine fairly universally, for women - if not in the exact details/choices she makes, in the way that external pressure to conform to expectations squeezes so much of what makes you an individual, makes you care to keep going/trying). And I loved her for that. But also, it hit me particularly hard, as her specific outlook and feelings about motherhood are very similar to my own. Seeing what happens, as the power in the pull of the tide of societal and cultural expectations, the slow slide into those expectations even if it’s not what you want (because it is overwhelming to fight against alone), leads to motherhood (and everything that happens bearing and raising a child)...it's almost exactly what I don't want, what I fear, and even though I have more clear/outspoken partner support on my behalf, reading it was still emotionally devastating.

Interestingly, I was emotionally responsive, a lot, while reading this. As a person who teaches sex ed, I was so disheartened to see how little awareness there was for pregnancy as a risk of sex, even when prevention steps are taken. I was angry at the doctor for misleading how protective birth control could be. And I was angry when Sam never really considered Efe's position after they found out, even though she had been pretty clear about her feelings. Even more angry because miscommunication is one of my least favorite romance tropes and really, these two entered a relationship while skirting around this very central issue (having kids) and just hoping and assuming the other would come around to their side...when has that ever worked? And OMG I was angry when Sam was pissed off and offended and unforgiving when Efe ended up taking decisions into her own hands because even knowing, for years, how she felt, he refused to consider any options that she needed/asked for. Like, that's not betrayal, she told you and you never even entertained it with a conversation! Get out of here with that shit. It was almost worse that he was written in so many other ways like a "perfect" guy, written as such purposefully and accurately (hats off to Appiah), yet still gave no true space to let Efe speak and act on her motherhood and mental health (and bodily and life) needs. Yikes - I got going there and it just spiraled. See? Told you I was emotionally invested. Phew!

Back to a more even-keeled area. I thought Appiah did a great job tracing the rise and fall, the ebbs and flows, of mental health challenges over the course of a lifetime with a variety of supportive styles showcased alongside. I also loved the many ways that creative outlets are highlighted as helpful in working through mental health challenges. There was a really wonderfully written literary parallel between Efe and Sam's mother, Rebecca, which did great things for the narrative development and the nuance of Sam as a character in his own right, and not just in relation to Efe. And in general, I felt like the family members for both Efe and Sam, the primary side characters in this novel, were all solid in their own rights. I also enjoyed the multicultural setting, the UK and Ghana, and how they were intertwined and both provided refuge and pressure and reinforcement in different ways, positive and not, in turn, throughout.

The sense of dread that built in me with the chapters bringing us closer to "the event" was palpable, y'all. That is quality writing. And when it happens...it's my only criticism with the book. I just. It was so good, so nuanced, so well written and developed, and I could gush for a while longer, but you get it. And then. I don't know. I'm not a writer and I assume finding the right ending is tough. But this, this was so hard for me to swallow. Like, it's not not possible. Honestly, it's believable. Things like that happen all the time, everywhere. And yet. I was so bought in to Efe and Sam and felt like I was cheated out of a real resolution. I'm trying so hard not to give spoilers (it's hard). But it just crushed the story arc for me. And I hate that that happened. Don't get me wrong though, I sure did cry. Especially at the photo scene. Ooooof. So, I guess I was still at least partially emotionally invested.

Overall, this was a surprisingly tragic, but in a very genuine real-life way, star-crossed childhood sweethearts novel. And like I said, one of the best-written female characters I have read in a long time. I can't believe this is a debut and I will be keeping my eye out for more for Appiah. If you've been considering this one, or even if you've never heard of it before but it sounds interesting, you should definitely give it a go.

"She was charmed by the notion that beauty could not be isolated from its culture or history."

"Love and regret aren't mutually exclusive."

"People - even the ones who love you - can be a weight around your neck. You just have to choose which weights you want to carry."

"I wonder why we [...] measure a woman's strength by the amount she is able to endure?"

"He is learning to throw away his plans, to let himself get swept up in all the unexpected parts of this life."

"But raw and bleeding things are still alive."

Content Warnings

fatsss's review

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emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

This is a book about Efe, a woman who struggles with motherhood after reiterating that it was something she didn’t want.

I enjoyed the author’s writing and I liked that we get to see how society pushed motherhood on women.

I hated how Sam kept on ignoring the fact Efe didn’t want kids. Her world was turned upside down after seeing the first pregnancy test result and he was celebrating. The second time, he started buying baby stuff, ignoring her fears and reservations. Is he okay??

Also, I hated that the ending like what the actual hell? This book deserved a much better ending and so did Efe 😔

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kerrygetsliterary's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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destheesquire's review

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challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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amandalorianxo's review

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challenging reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect from this debut except a couple at odds when it came to wanting to continue their marriage. However, this is way heavier than I anticipated and I had to stop reading every once in a while not to plunge deep into the depths of the sadness. I feel like the author , while she should be commended for this debut and wring it in the way she did, did a slight disservice going backwards for the storyline. I don’t really feel like I was able to get a good grasp of who the main characters are. Sam vaguely reminded me of the same Sam from Someday, Maybe except he’d black & from Ghana. The ending also didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I know Efe felt trapped and stuck but that way out ? It was heart breaking to read.

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katebrownreads's review against another edition

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3.5

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elliez's review

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This book gave me all the feels. Have tissues ready when you read this.

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happiestwhenreading's review

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emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

While Efe and I are opposites in almost every way - she's Ghananian, career-focused, and has never had a desire to have children - I was absolutely inthralled with her character! She is tough, independent, resilient, and doesn't bend for anyone. Appiah captured the essence of her and her struggles so well, and as a reader, I had sympathy, empathy, and a whole lot of love for her. Sam, her husband, also captured my heart. While he had his faults (like we all do), his love for Efe was deep and true. He kept making the conscientious choice to try to understand and change his ways so that Efe and him could continue to grow in their love. Appiah is a wonderful storyteller and I absolutely loved her writing style. Seeing how this is her debut novel, we all have a lot to look forward to! (**Please know there are some content trigger warnings here...I didn't mention them so as not to spoil the book, but please seek out more information if you are a sensitive reader.)

Content Warnings

amandas_bookshelf's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

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