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wanderlust_romance's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
What an amazing and moving memoir. Everything from the artwork to the deeply personal storytelling was engaging, thoughtful, and emotional. The art is a layering of ink and woodcut style drawings with undercurrents of brown and orange watercolors. It is a stark but not monochromatic depiction of scenes that aligns very well with the story being told. At its heart, The Best We Could Do is a story of parental and family relationships. The narrative’s opening scene depicting the authors traumatic birthing experience sets the tone for the rest of the book: this is not going to be a comfortable read. And indeed it is challenging. The birth scene brings the narrative full circle at the end, with deeply personal and resonating reflections by Bui on being a parent. The midsection of the memoir goes into depth on Bui’s parent’s experiences growing up in French colonial Vietnam and the ensuing geopolitical conflicts that ensued. Relaying the challenges experienced by their parents adds insight into their approach to parenting in the midst of the conflict and afterwards in their life as immigrants in the US. Through the gathering of this insight, it made me pause to consider how much one really knows their parents. Do I know who my parents are as people, in a vein outside of their relationship to me as a caretaker? Is it possible to separate what I know of them as parents to understand who they are in an independent context? While not explicitly noted in the text, these are also questions that Bui considers with depth in gathering their parents deeply personal and fraught histories. With this renewed insight into the Bui family’s history, Thi Bui reflects on their own journey as a parent. And at the end of such a deeply moving story, reminds readers of the refrain that many parents recognize in the challenges to raise humans. I did the best I could do.
Content Warnings
Graphic: War
Moderate: Medical content, Xenophobia, Abandonment, Medical trauma, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, and Violence
Minor: Child death, Physical abuse, and Infidelity
njh_books's review
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Artwork is great.
The events flip back and forth between different time periods and adds to the story as Bui learns more about her parents’ and her own past while also trying to determine what it means for her present.
Heartbreaking but also hopeful. The last scene with the son is truly thought provoking and beautiful.
My knowledge of Vietnam improved with this story as often events were discussed that I then looked into on my own.
Heartbreaking but also hopeful. The last scene with the son is truly thought provoking and beautiful.
My knowledge of Vietnam improved with this story as often events were discussed that I then looked into on my own.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Torture, Violence, Colonisation, Child death, Chronic illness, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Grief, Fire/Fire injury, Murder, Medical content, Death, Xenophobia, War, Injury/Injury detail, and Miscarriage
alixsbooktherapy's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
relaxing
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Bo was a lazy dad who didnt really care for his kids he smoked most of the time and let the kids cry
Bo cheated on his wife while the kids were in the house they saw the women naked and had lots of questions
Thi used to get weird calls from creepy men saying really inappropate things to her as a kid she used to read her dads paraphernalia memorizing all the pictures
The kids childhoods weren't your average childhoods they watched the exorcis at 5 years old (definitely not a movie for kids)
I hate that we go into the "to understand how my father became the way he was I had to learn what happend to him as a little boy" that's no excuse for what he did. Or how he wasn't a good dad
We learn alot about the past and how growing up back then is 10x different then it is now
Bo was raised in the jungle at the time in 1940 during the world war 2
Bos dad cheated on his mom with the neighbor at the end of the street and when she asked about it she was screamed at
Bo watched one night as his father beat his mother badly and threw her out of the house in 1945 at the height of the famine
Her mom hit the kids and the servants
Back in these times kids were forced to work if you didn't work then you were seen as lazy
Bos grandfather had cheated on his grandma, the fight escalted into her falling and cutting open her head on the door which Bo had to take her to the hostipal the next Day Bos grandma left Bos grandfather his grandfather when they arrives in sài gón tried to ask bos grandma "let's make a new home together " after what he did to her thankfully she said "no I don't need you" so fricken proud of her but sooner then later the diêms forces ended up fighting with others and it led to Bos grandmothers doorstep making her lose her securites and more scared of violence she agreed to go back to her cheating husband
"And there in 1962 I met your mother"
Thi's mom "besides the very first year, I met Bo and that was it he just monopolized me, it was like I was married from the very first year of college'
It was wholesome that Bo and thi's mom after they lost their first kid remembered the movie they went to and the place they both wanted to go, it became a place they went for a time to forget but also a brief honeymoon period
This book was so beautiful we got to learn about Thi's parents and her journey as a mom
When thi had her baby they ended up with jaundice so her and her partner were only allowed to see their kid for 20 minutes enough time to feed him then go back sleep for 90 minutes and do it again
The nurse when thi's baby was allowed to go home helped Thi breastfeed her baby as it didn't work the first try and it successfully worked
"To accidentally call myself mẹ was to slip myself into her shoes just for a moment"
"To let her be not what I want her to be but someone independent, self- determining, and free,means letting go of that picture of her in my head."
"What becomes of us after we die? Do we live on in what we leave our children?"
This book is a must read and I mean it this was a book that broke my heart then healed it again this was so beautiful thank you to Thi Bui for writing this beautiful book!
Bo cheated on his wife while the kids were in the house they saw the women naked and had lots of questions
Thi used to get weird calls from creepy men saying really inappropate things to her as a kid she used to read her dads paraphernalia memorizing all the pictures
The kids childhoods weren't your average childhoods they watched the exorcis at 5 years old (definitely not a movie for kids)
I hate that we go into the "to understand how my father became the way he was I had to learn what happend to him as a little boy" that's no excuse for what he did. Or how he wasn't a good dad
We learn alot about the past and how growing up back then is 10x different then it is now
Bo was raised in the jungle at the time in 1940 during the world war 2
Bos dad cheated on his mom with the neighbor at the end of the street and when she asked about it she was screamed at
Bo watched one night as his father beat his mother badly and threw her out of the house in 1945 at the height of the famine
Her mom hit the kids and the servants
Back in these times kids were forced to work if you didn't work then you were seen as lazy
Bos grandfather had cheated on his grandma, the fight escalted into her falling and cutting open her head on the door which Bo had to take her to the hostipal the next Day Bos grandma left Bos grandfather his grandfather when they arrives in sài gón tried to ask bos grandma "let's make a new home together " after what he did to her thankfully she said "no I don't need you" so fricken proud of her but sooner then later the diêms forces ended up fighting with others and it led to Bos grandmothers doorstep making her lose her securites and more scared of violence she agreed to go back to her cheating husband
"And there in 1962 I met your mother"
Thi's mom "besides the very first year, I met Bo and that was it he just monopolized me, it was like I was married from the very first year of college'
It was wholesome that Bo and thi's mom after they lost their first kid remembered the movie they went to and the place they both wanted to go, it became a place they went for a time to forget but also a brief honeymoon period
This book was so beautiful we got to learn about Thi's parents and her journey as a mom
When thi had her baby they ended up with jaundice so her and her partner were only allowed to see their kid for 20 minutes enough time to feed him then go back sleep for 90 minutes and do it again
The nurse when thi's baby was allowed to go home helped Thi breastfeed her baby as it didn't work the first try and it successfully worked
"To accidentally call myself mẹ was to slip myself into her shoes just for a moment"
"To let her be not what I want her to be but someone independent, self- determining, and free,means letting go of that picture of her in my head."
"What becomes of us after we die? Do we live on in what we leave our children?"
This book is a must read and I mean it this was a book that broke my heart then healed it again this was so beautiful thank you to Thi Bui for writing this beautiful book!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infertility, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Body shaming, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Kidnapping, Medical content, Sexual harassment, Child abuse, Abandonment, Blood, Gore, Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Miscarriage, Murder, Cursing, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Grief, Gun violence, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Abortion, Bullying, Child death, Death, Fire/Fire injury, Religious bigotry, Sexual content, Slavery, Torture, and Violence
booksandboba's review
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Child death, War, Pregnancy, Death, Genocide, and Mental illness
Moderate: Blood, Colonisation, Classism, Emotional abuse, Medical content, Racial slurs, Racism, and Physical abuse
Minor: Alcohol
jessjess125's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, War, and Violence
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