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shelbyday's review
5.0
I usually hate self-help books, but my therapist recommended this book to me to help me cope with ongoing issues of being the adult child of both an alcoholic and an enabler. I do not exaggerate when I say this book changed my life. The exercises the book has take you step-by-step through different stages of your life in order to re-parent yourself. I have never so deeply analyzed my habits and deep seated ways of thinking. I sobbed, I mourned, and I walked out a more powerful version of myself. I highly recommend this book. I do caution that you may not want to read it by yourself depending on the level of trauma you dealt with as a child. I read this over a period of six months while regularly visiting a therapist to check in. I also had an amazing support system made up of my husband and a best friend who were familiar with my past and what I hoped to overcome. This book is such a powerful tool and will truly help you on the road to healing. The work is difficult and emotional but the results are fantastic.
ssalamanca's review
4.0
"I know what I really want for Christmas. I want my childhood back... It doesn't make sense, but since when is Christmas about sense anyway?"
"Thus children, unlike concentration camp inmates, are confronted by a tormentor they love"
"School rewards conformity and memorization rather than creativity and uniqueness. Many of us who adapted to become straight-A students never developed a true sense of competence. I spent a major part of my life trying to heal my being wound by performing and doing. No matter how many straight-A's I got, it did nothing to heal the spiritual wound: deep down, my wounded inner child still felt alone and inadequate."
"If your parents refuse to take responsibility for their own wounded inner child, you need to remember that your primary obligation is to your own life. You didn't come into this world to take care of your parents."
"Discipline as a set of techniques geared to ease life's inevitable pain."
"Intimacy only works if each partner takes responsibility for his or her own vulnerable inner child."
"Thus children, unlike concentration camp inmates, are confronted by a tormentor they love"
"School rewards conformity and memorization rather than creativity and uniqueness. Many of us who adapted to become straight-A students never developed a true sense of competence. I spent a major part of my life trying to heal my being wound by performing and doing. No matter how many straight-A's I got, it did nothing to heal the spiritual wound: deep down, my wounded inner child still felt alone and inadequate."
"If your parents refuse to take responsibility for their own wounded inner child, you need to remember that your primary obligation is to your own life. You didn't come into this world to take care of your parents."
"Discipline as a set of techniques geared to ease life's inevitable pain."
"Intimacy only works if each partner takes responsibility for his or her own vulnerable inner child."
codiewood's review against another edition
Will return at later date; do not currently have time
tiffyb's review
2.0
DNF.
This is the sort of book you MAKE yourself reach for because you want to improve yourself. I’d imagine that this book may have been the best of its kind at the time of writing, but there must certainly be better and more updated books on this topic by now. There’s far too much reference to “science” that has been proven false for my analytical mind to get any further in this book. (Science both in his field and out of his field- the references to “being into butt stuff” all the way to asserting that only humans are capable of laughter). He seems to also pull from many other sources that were mostly conjecture (stages of life for example). His explanations about the way trauma can affect you felt outdated and not necessarily applicable to different kinds of trauma (anytime he touched on physical abuse or alcoholism, it seemed like his writing “lit up”, but discussion of any other kinds of abuse felt forced and hazy, like he didn’t really understand what he was writing about). Once I hit the chapter about “elves,” I realized I’m just not going to be able to drag myself through this writing any longer.
This is the sort of book you MAKE yourself reach for because you want to improve yourself. I’d imagine that this book may have been the best of its kind at the time of writing, but there must certainly be better and more updated books on this topic by now. There’s far too much reference to “science” that has been proven false for my analytical mind to get any further in this book. (Science both in his field and out of his field- the references to “being into butt stuff” all the way to asserting that only humans are capable of laughter). He seems to also pull from many other sources that were mostly conjecture (stages of life for example). His explanations about the way trauma can affect you felt outdated and not necessarily applicable to different kinds of trauma (anytime he touched on physical abuse or alcoholism, it seemed like his writing “lit up”, but discussion of any other kinds of abuse felt forced and hazy, like he didn’t really understand what he was writing about). Once I hit the chapter about “elves,” I realized I’m just not going to be able to drag myself through this writing any longer.
klynnhank's review
1.0
DNF at about 65%. I'm interested in the idea of the inner child and doing inner child work, and this book puts forward some interesting ideas, but it's very outdated (especially in its language - for example, the author uses "he" throughout to refer to any person - and also following some of Freud's ideas of psychology) and quite dry to read.
brebrechives's review
5.0
This book was amazing and helped me in so many different ways. Going through the beginning of the book, I started to unknowingly do things that the author asks you to do in later chapters. It’s truly helped me learn to stand my ground, accept the things that have harmed me, set boundaries, heal, and so much more. I think I would’ve done all of this on my own later down the road, but the book pushed me to do it now and I’m glad I stuck with it.
leic01's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5