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susanneverreads's review against another edition
4.0
This book was an interesting reading. It really didn't pull a lot of emotions from me, when I thought it would. There were times where I felt for the characters but nothing I expected. I do believe the meaning behind the book was well received and was worth the read.
drridareads's review against another edition
5.0
This book was powerful. It was gripping and dark. It wrecked me emotionally.
The book follows fourteen year old Sebastian. When Sebastian was four he did something terrible he shot his four month old baby sister accidently. He's been having to live with his horrible past and guilt for the last ten years. But he has a plan to end it all with a bullet. After all the gun started everything it should end too, he thinks. My heart aches for him and his family. He was just four, a four year old is not malicious or anything, a four year old is just a kid who doesn't know. And a four month old can't defend herself.
Even though what he did was unspeakable. He lives in a small town and therefore everyone knows about the toddler that shot his baby sister. Until Aneesa comes. Aneesa is a Muslim, she's new to this place. She doesn't know about his past. She's easy to be friends with. She's a distraction from his plan. Sebastian feels different, light and even happy around her. They start a youtube channel about pizza together. YES LOTS OF YUMMY PIZZA! I loved how Lyga portrayed their friendship. It felt real.
All the characters were well fleshed out. They were very realistic. The parts with Sebastian's mom, she lost her child. She felt so broken, so raw.
In case anyone is wondering about the Muslim representation, I'm a Muslim and I could not relate to Aneesa and her family in terms of being Muslamic (not really a word), but let's remember there's no one kind of Muslim, also only one of her parents was Muslim so that obviously makes it very different. Aneesa was a hijabi character and I'm so happy her hijab was respected through out the book! She had her own character.
The author dealt with very real topics of gun violence, Islamophobia and suicide without sounding too preachy about it. I overall loved his writing style. It was my first book by Barry Lyga and I definitely want to try others by him too! He captured that feeling of hopelessness.
I listened to the audiobook the narrator did a great job! I just resonated so well with it!
If you want a book to completely destroy you I recommend this. If seeing Muslim characters represented in books makes you happy I recommend this book. In fact read this book anyway. The thing about this book that gets me the most is that, it could all easily be real, is real for some families. Gun violence is very real.
The book follows fourteen year old Sebastian. When Sebastian was four he did something terrible he shot his four month old baby sister accidently. He's been having to live with his horrible past and guilt for the last ten years. But he has a plan to end it all with a bullet. After all the gun started everything it should end too, he thinks. My heart aches for him and his family. He was just four, a four year old is not malicious or anything, a four year old is just a kid who doesn't know. And a four month old can't defend herself.
Even though what he did was unspeakable. He lives in a small town and therefore everyone knows about the toddler that shot his baby sister. Until Aneesa comes. Aneesa is a Muslim, she's new to this place. She doesn't know about his past. She's easy to be friends with. She's a distraction from his plan. Sebastian feels different, light and even happy around her. They start a youtube channel about pizza together. YES LOTS OF YUMMY PIZZA! I loved how Lyga portrayed their friendship. It felt real.
All the characters were well fleshed out. They were very realistic. The parts with Sebastian's mom, she lost her child. She felt so broken, so raw.
In case anyone is wondering about the Muslim representation, I'm a Muslim and I could not relate to Aneesa and her family in terms of being Muslamic (not really a word), but let's remember there's no one kind of Muslim, also only one of her parents was Muslim so that obviously makes it very different. Aneesa was a hijabi character and I'm so happy her hijab was respected through out the book! She had her own character.
The author dealt with very real topics of gun violence, Islamophobia and suicide without sounding too preachy about it. I overall loved his writing style. It was my first book by Barry Lyga and I definitely want to try others by him too! He captured that feeling of hopelessness.
I listened to the audiobook the narrator did a great job! I just resonated so well with it!
Spoiler
The ending was soul shattering. To see his dad all defeated and broken like that just destroyed me. The very thing he kept for protecting his family is the one that broke it in a way it can't be fixed. That scene was so beautiful. To find out that Sebastian remembers his horrible accident. He remembers his sister Lola. Idk how to say what that made me feel.If you want a book to completely destroy you I recommend this. If seeing Muslim characters represented in books makes you happy I recommend this book. In fact read this book anyway. The thing about this book that gets me the most is that, it could all easily be real, is real for some families. Gun violence is very real.
4saradouglas's review against another edition
3.0
I just didn't get much out of this. The first chapter or two and the last chapter or two were about the shooting and the fallout from the shooting, but the middle part felt like a whole other book. Two teenagers connect and have a summer project making pizzas on YouTube. Other than the slightly interesting pizza variations they came up with, I found this part to be completely dull. Yes, she wears a hijab, and they got some hateful comments on their YouTube channel, but nothing ever really came of anything and they didn't really grow or change. They didn't confront any issues, they just hung out until they didn't anymore. Meh.
nicolemhewitt's review against another edition
5.0
This review and many more can be found on my blog: Feed Your Fiction Addiction
The concept of this book is incredibly heartbreaking, but I’ll confess that it didn’t really tug at my heartstrings the way I expected it to—at least not at first. Which isn’t to say that I didn’t like it, but for some reason I just wasn’t blown away or wrecked like I’d expect with this sort of book. The first three-quarters of the book were almost … cute. The possibility of budding romance between Sebastian and Aneesa was sweet—and I loved that he started to see worth in his life through her. I also appreciated the perspective that Aneesa gave to the story as a Muslim (it was especially interesting that her mother was not Muslim because you certainly don’t see mixed families of that type very often). But I just didn’t feel particularly emotionally moved and the book took me a little while to get through …
And then there was the final quarter of the book, which is amazing and blew me away. Sebastian is suddenly forced to stop avoiding his reality and face everything, and as a reader I was also forced to take note. There were a few twists that I wasn’t expecting, and the emotional depth of the story skyrocketed at the end. I was suddenly very connected to a story that I had just been cruising along with at first. Since it took me three-quarters of the way through the book to get there, I settled on 3.5/5 Stars for my rating, but this book was well worth the read!
***Disclosure: I received this book from the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. No other compensation was given and all opinions are my own.***
The concept of this book is incredibly heartbreaking, but I’ll confess that it didn’t really tug at my heartstrings the way I expected it to—at least not at first. Which isn’t to say that I didn’t like it, but for some reason I just wasn’t blown away or wrecked like I’d expect with this sort of book. The first three-quarters of the book were almost … cute. The possibility of budding romance between Sebastian and Aneesa was sweet—and I loved that he started to see worth in his life through her. I also appreciated the perspective that Aneesa gave to the story as a Muslim (it was especially interesting that her mother was not Muslim because you certainly don’t see mixed families of that type very often). But I just didn’t feel particularly emotionally moved and the book took me a little while to get through …
And then there was the final quarter of the book, which is amazing and blew me away. Sebastian is suddenly forced to stop avoiding his reality and face everything, and as a reader I was also forced to take note. There were a few twists that I wasn’t expecting, and the emotional depth of the story skyrocketed at the end. I was suddenly very connected to a story that I had just been cruising along with at first. Since it took me three-quarters of the way through the book to get there, I settled on 3.5/5 Stars for my rating, but this book was well worth the read!
***Disclosure: I received this book from the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. No other compensation was given and all opinions are my own.***
urfriendash's review against another edition
4.0
what the FUDGE!!! this book is so underrated rated cuz wym i never heard of it before my friend showed it to me???
i want you all to think of those sad books. perks of being a wallflower, speak, the bell jar, the virgin suicides, my year of rest and relaxation(haven’t read those last three but i think ik thé vibes). then think THIS BOOK.
this book reminded me of speak and perks. the writing style was very simplistic (which reminded me of those two books) which i actually really love cuz the main character is smart and has a good vocabulary so if it was all a lot of word play and big words it’d be less enjoyable if taht makes any sense,.
and also i just think a simplistic writing style helps put more focus on the plot and the thoughts of the main character Sebastian.
this book deals with new friendship, rejection, gun violence, trauma, suicide, and how to make pizza very well. and the author does a great job at it all!!!!!!!!
the main character was really likeable (most of the characters were tbh) and the plot like wasn’t super strong (it’s not like huge like their trying to defeat a dragon yk) but it didn’t need a strong plot point.
also it’s slow paced plot wise but my friend and i read it in less than two days so it was pretty gripping anyway.
btw the pizza descriptions were very nice barry!
shoutout to rae for letting me borrow this and convincing me to read it
i want you all to think of those sad books. perks of being a wallflower, speak, the bell jar, the virgin suicides, my year of rest and relaxation(haven’t read those last three but i think ik thé vibes). then think THIS BOOK.
this book reminded me of speak and perks. the writing style was very simplistic (which reminded me of those two books) which i actually really love cuz the main character is smart and has a good vocabulary so if it was all a lot of word play and big words it’d be less enjoyable if taht makes any sense,.
and also i just think a simplistic writing style helps put more focus on the plot and the thoughts of the main character Sebastian.
this book deals with new friendship, rejection, gun violence, trauma, suicide, and how to make pizza very well. and the author does a great job at it all!!!!!!!!
the main character was really likeable (most of the characters were tbh) and the plot like wasn’t super strong (it’s not like huge like their trying to defeat a dragon yk) but it didn’t need a strong plot point.
also it’s slow paced plot wise but my friend and i read it in less than two days so it was pretty gripping anyway.
btw the pizza descriptions were very nice barry!
shoutout to rae for letting me borrow this and convincing me to read it
missbookiverse's review
4.0
4.5
Als Sebastian 4 Jahre alt war, hat er seine kleine Schwester beim Spielen mit einer Waffe erschossen. Ein Erlebnis, das ihn und seine Eltern auch Jahre später nicht loslässt.
Barry Lyga führt in Bang einen unglaublichen Balance-Akt durch. Auf der einen Seite gibt es die tragische Familiengeschichte. Sebastian leidet auch mit 14 noch unter enormen Schuldgefühlen, der Vater hat die Familie inzwischen verlassen und die Mutter blockt bei Gesprächen über Sebastians Schwester meistens ab. Außerdem weiß jeder in seiner Heimatstadt Bescheid darüber, was er 10 Jahre zuvor getan hat. Auf der anderen Seite führt Sebastian ein harmloses Teenagerleben mit Computerspielen, Fahrradfahren und schließlich dem neuen Mädchen aus der Nachbarschaft: Aneesa. Das verbale Gekabbel der Beiden ist herrlich mitzuverfolgen und blüht richtig auf als sie einen YouTube-Kanal gründen, auf dem Sebastian seine Pizzarezepte vorstellt – denn hausgemachte Pizzen sind seine Spezialität. Aneesa bringt neben diesen heiteren Szenen ebenfalls ernste Töne in die Geschichte mit ein, da ihre Familie muslimisch ist und sich aufgrund dessen oft mit Vorurteilen auseinandersetzen muss. Auch vor unerwiderten Gefühlen sind Aneesa und Sebastian nicht gefeit, aber Lyga geht sensibel und realistisch mit ihnen um. Richtig tragisch wird es am Ende als die große Konfrontation zwischen Sebastian und seinen Eltern stattfindet. Vor allem da schwingt ständig die Angst mit, dass Sebastian all das Leid nicht mehr ertragen und dem Ganzen ein eigenes Ende setzen könnte.
Pizza, Islamophobie, YouTube und Waffengewalt – Lygas neuster Roman aus Brookdale (da spielen auch seine andere Contemporarys) schafft es diese gegensätzlichen Zutaten klümpchenfrei zu vermischen. Herausgekommen ist ein Roman, der kaum einfühlsamer und echter mit einer aktuellen Thematik wie privatem Waffenbesitz umgehen könnte.
Als Sebastian 4 Jahre alt war, hat er seine kleine Schwester beim Spielen mit einer Waffe erschossen. Ein Erlebnis, das ihn und seine Eltern auch Jahre später nicht loslässt.
Barry Lyga führt in Bang einen unglaublichen Balance-Akt durch. Auf der einen Seite gibt es die tragische Familiengeschichte. Sebastian leidet auch mit 14 noch unter enormen Schuldgefühlen, der Vater hat die Familie inzwischen verlassen und die Mutter blockt bei Gesprächen über Sebastians Schwester meistens ab. Außerdem weiß jeder in seiner Heimatstadt Bescheid darüber, was er 10 Jahre zuvor getan hat. Auf der anderen Seite führt Sebastian ein harmloses Teenagerleben mit Computerspielen, Fahrradfahren und schließlich dem neuen Mädchen aus der Nachbarschaft: Aneesa. Das verbale Gekabbel der Beiden ist herrlich mitzuverfolgen und blüht richtig auf als sie einen YouTube-Kanal gründen, auf dem Sebastian seine Pizzarezepte vorstellt – denn hausgemachte Pizzen sind seine Spezialität. Aneesa bringt neben diesen heiteren Szenen ebenfalls ernste Töne in die Geschichte mit ein, da ihre Familie muslimisch ist und sich aufgrund dessen oft mit Vorurteilen auseinandersetzen muss. Auch vor unerwiderten Gefühlen sind Aneesa und Sebastian nicht gefeit, aber Lyga geht sensibel und realistisch mit ihnen um. Richtig tragisch wird es am Ende als die große Konfrontation zwischen Sebastian und seinen Eltern stattfindet. Vor allem da schwingt ständig die Angst mit, dass Sebastian all das Leid nicht mehr ertragen und dem Ganzen ein eigenes Ende setzen könnte.
Pizza, Islamophobie, YouTube und Waffengewalt – Lygas neuster Roman aus Brookdale (da spielen auch seine andere Contemporarys) schafft es diese gegensätzlichen Zutaten klümpchenfrei zu vermischen. Herausgekommen ist ein Roman, der kaum einfühlsamer und echter mit einer aktuellen Thematik wie privatem Waffenbesitz umgehen könnte.
kaila2464's review against another edition
3.0
Since I’ve been getting into the reading sprit BANG definitely change my views on books. This book surprised me and motivated me to read all of it in 3 days. This book definitely played with my emotions towards the characters having me and the edge of my seat waiting for what’s about to happen. Sebastian is portrayed as a very interesting and complicated character who is trying to forget what is troubling him with constant reminders everywhere. But at the end Sebastian finally let go but the way the writer made this fight with his mom at the end was heartbreaking and carefully planned.
mariahistryingtoread's review against another edition
4.0
I foresaw this as an emotionally draining read based on its subject matter. Normally I'd need to work up to it, but I needed a book for the first challenge in the Disney Channel Games Readathon so I figured now was a good time to push myself.
Thankfully, Bang was also ready to rise to the occasion.
In a tragic set of circumstances, Sebastian Cody accidentally killed his 4 month old sister. 10 years later, without his best friend to act as a distraction for the summer, the guilt has driven him to the brink of the unthinkable. But, new girl Aneesa might offer a way out that previously seemed impossible.
First off, Sebastian is a deeply mentally unwell boy. His level of self-loathing is so deep that it has consumed all aspects of his personality. He's unable to view himself or his actions in any kind of positive light. He is severely suicidal to the point that he has begun to actively take steps towards going through with it. It was hard to stomach at times how negative his thought process was based on an event that was so far outside of the realm of being his fault that it might as well be in outer space. I identified so much with his recrimination sometimes that it made my heart hurt. It reminded me of my own issues as a teenager. Though I was not suicidal, I did often struggle with the feeling that on some microscopic level I was wrong; the fact that I existed at all was a mistake. My self-loathing was rooted in anxiety which can be self-imposed in a different way than some other mental health issues whereas Sebastian's is primarily a result of an outside influence. It's impossible to know how much was Sebastian already having an inclination to mental illness exacerbated by the death of his sister and how much was the tragedy itself, but I think it's important to point out that mental illness doesn't need a specific 'reason' to manifest.
This was very sad to read at many different points. Sebastian desperately wants help. Paradoxically he's convinced himself that to ask for it is a sign of weakness. While he did have a therapist for some time he was lying to the therapist which, naturally, hindered his ability to get better. On top of that neither of his parents dealt with the after effects well. When he does tentatively attempt to discuss it his mother always shuts him down. So he's suffered in silence for a decade. It's a brutally realistic look at how people learn to internalize their negative feelings until it's too late or almost too late for intercedence.
I liked how Aneesa's straightforward, easygoing countenance contrasted with Sebastian's reserved, guarded attitude. I liked the bit of diversity inserted with her being Muslim as well as some of the conversations this inspired about racism, Islamophobia, and religious freedom. It wasn't super in-depth because that's not what the book is about, but the inclusion helps to normalize these kinds of casual discussions. When I was a 14 year old black girl in primarily white spaces these kinds of topics did come up and it wasn't always part of some multi-faceted deep dive on racial disparity in the US. Sometimes it was just sharing a feeling in the middle of a larger dialogue, then moving on. Not every talk about race has to be a Big Important Talk. I appreciated the relatively low stakes.
That being said Aneesa is more of a device than an actual character. She was a physical representation of happiness that Sebastian erroneously tied all of his progress to. This is helpful for the rejection later on, but this is not so helpful when it comes to solidifying their friendship. She lacked depth. I felt like I was told a lot of things about her without being shown.
This goes for every character not only Aneesa. It’s just more prominent with Aneesa since her interactions take up a large portion of the book. Evan is like an even less developed version of Aneesa. Except it’s worse in his case since he’s known Sebastian for years yet gets pushed out of the story for some bizarre reason. He goes away for the summer which is fine. But, Sebastian says several times they’re texting or emailing while glossing over the actual details. It would have been better if Evan or Sebastian disconnected entirely instead of this background effort that did nothing for Evan’s character.
Sebastian’s issues with his mother mean they don’t talk which is fine up until the ending. At the end there’s a huge blow up where their miscommunication comes to a head. This blow-up really, really put me off Sebastian’s mother. I understand that she has her own trauma as a result of Lola’s death. But, as an adult and as Sebastian’s mother she needed to do more. I’m not unsympathetic to how difficult this would be for anyone to do. How hard it is as well as how grief stricken she is does not excuse her actions. I was very disappointed that the ending brushes over this aspect in a poor attempt of showcasing forgiveness in the face of dual suffering. It would have better demonstrated Sebastian’s growth if he didn’t forgive her. At least not all at once.
Without further developing her character I barely felt any sympathy for her at this pivotal moment. If it was supposed to be the outcome I think there should have been more examples of her genuine love for her son. Doing the bare minimum is not enough in circumstances like this.
Back to the ending; it wasn’t just how the storyline ended with his mother. The whole ending felt tonally dissonant. Sebastian is ready to commit suicide in a massive way that I do not want to spoil. What bothers me is the fall out. There is none. Outside of Sebastian’s conflict with his mother Sebastian sort of gets over it? He has one all night session with his mother and suddenly he’s different. I’m not dismissing how much an epiphany of his caliber could affect him. But, it was very much on the line of rug sweeping. The book builds to its climax super well so this brusque resolution was disquieting. Everything being laid out on the table does not substitute therapy which I felt he needed more than ever all things considered.
A sizable chunk of the book is taken up with a Youtube series Aneesa convinces Sebastian to start where he makes different pizzas; a hobby/skill of his. This part was somewhat of a snooze to me. It reeked of an adult who either didn’t have a good idea of how Youtube works or was willing to ignore it to push a plot point regardless of its impracticality. It goes way too well for kids who barely know what they’re doing and for how oversaturated Youtube would have been even in 2017. They don’t even go viral or anything, they just somehow gain a notable platform. This obviously is possible, it’s just so rare especially for what the channel was doing. The level that they reach with so little effort took me out of it. I googled Barry Lyga and he would have been 46 when this was released so in his early-ish 40s when he wrote this most likely. Not all older people are unfamiliar with the landscape of online culture, but admittedly I did think ‘that explains it’ when I found out his age.
I’d strongly recommend this book. Sebastian’s voice while distinct can be kind of dull. If you don’t like it initially it’s a real toss-up whether it’ll grow on you. I think it emphasized how Sebastian perceived his life to be an endless, monotonous road stretched out before him. I felt like I too was suffocating under the weight of time’s relentless march forward (to be fair I already have this fear so it was easier for me to connect on that level) but it also can feel detached at times, incidentally rather than on purpose. Brace yourself for the ending to fall flat. However, don’t let that stop you from reading it. I think it really communicates how kids have heavy, personal battles too. If I was a kid when I read this I would have felt seen, and I think adults could really use the perspective.
Thankfully, Bang was also ready to rise to the occasion.
In a tragic set of circumstances, Sebastian Cody accidentally killed his 4 month old sister. 10 years later, without his best friend to act as a distraction for the summer, the guilt has driven him to the brink of the unthinkable. But, new girl Aneesa might offer a way out that previously seemed impossible.
First off, Sebastian is a deeply mentally unwell boy. His level of self-loathing is so deep that it has consumed all aspects of his personality. He's unable to view himself or his actions in any kind of positive light. He is severely suicidal to the point that he has begun to actively take steps towards going through with it. It was hard to stomach at times how negative his thought process was based on an event that was so far outside of the realm of being his fault that it might as well be in outer space. I identified so much with his recrimination sometimes that it made my heart hurt. It reminded me of my own issues as a teenager. Though I was not suicidal, I did often struggle with the feeling that on some microscopic level I was wrong; the fact that I existed at all was a mistake. My self-loathing was rooted in anxiety which can be self-imposed in a different way than some other mental health issues whereas Sebastian's is primarily a result of an outside influence. It's impossible to know how much was Sebastian already having an inclination to mental illness exacerbated by the death of his sister and how much was the tragedy itself, but I think it's important to point out that mental illness doesn't need a specific 'reason' to manifest.
This was very sad to read at many different points. Sebastian desperately wants help. Paradoxically he's convinced himself that to ask for it is a sign of weakness. While he did have a therapist for some time he was lying to the therapist which, naturally, hindered his ability to get better. On top of that neither of his parents dealt with the after effects well. When he does tentatively attempt to discuss it his mother always shuts him down. So he's suffered in silence for a decade. It's a brutally realistic look at how people learn to internalize their negative feelings until it's too late or almost too late for intercedence.
I liked how Aneesa's straightforward, easygoing countenance contrasted with Sebastian's reserved, guarded attitude. I liked the bit of diversity inserted with her being Muslim as well as some of the conversations this inspired about racism, Islamophobia, and religious freedom. It wasn't super in-depth because that's not what the book is about, but the inclusion helps to normalize these kinds of casual discussions. When I was a 14 year old black girl in primarily white spaces these kinds of topics did come up and it wasn't always part of some multi-faceted deep dive on racial disparity in the US. Sometimes it was just sharing a feeling in the middle of a larger dialogue, then moving on. Not every talk about race has to be a Big Important Talk. I appreciated the relatively low stakes.
That being said Aneesa is more of a device than an actual character. She was a physical representation of happiness that Sebastian erroneously tied all of his progress to. This is helpful for the rejection later on, but this is not so helpful when it comes to solidifying their friendship. She lacked depth. I felt like I was told a lot of things about her without being shown.
This goes for every character not only Aneesa. It’s just more prominent with Aneesa since her interactions take up a large portion of the book. Evan is like an even less developed version of Aneesa. Except it’s worse in his case since he’s known Sebastian for years yet gets pushed out of the story for some bizarre reason. He goes away for the summer which is fine. But, Sebastian says several times they’re texting or emailing while glossing over the actual details. It would have been better if Evan or Sebastian disconnected entirely instead of this background effort that did nothing for Evan’s character.
Sebastian’s issues with his mother mean they don’t talk which is fine up until the ending. At the end there’s a huge blow up where their miscommunication comes to a head. This blow-up really, really put me off Sebastian’s mother. I understand that she has her own trauma as a result of Lola’s death. But, as an adult and as Sebastian’s mother she needed to do more. I’m not unsympathetic to how difficult this would be for anyone to do. How hard it is as well as how grief stricken she is does not excuse her actions. I was very disappointed that the ending brushes over this aspect in a poor attempt of showcasing forgiveness in the face of dual suffering. It would have better demonstrated Sebastian’s growth if he didn’t forgive her. At least not all at once.
Without further developing her character I barely felt any sympathy for her at this pivotal moment. If it was supposed to be the outcome I think there should have been more examples of her genuine love for her son. Doing the bare minimum is not enough in circumstances like this.
Back to the ending; it wasn’t just how the storyline ended with his mother. The whole ending felt tonally dissonant. Sebastian is ready to commit suicide in a massive way that I do not want to spoil. What bothers me is the fall out. There is none. Outside of Sebastian’s conflict with his mother Sebastian sort of gets over it? He has one all night session with his mother and suddenly he’s different. I’m not dismissing how much an epiphany of his caliber could affect him. But, it was very much on the line of rug sweeping. The book builds to its climax super well so this brusque resolution was disquieting. Everything being laid out on the table does not substitute therapy which I felt he needed more than ever all things considered.
A sizable chunk of the book is taken up with a Youtube series Aneesa convinces Sebastian to start where he makes different pizzas; a hobby/skill of his. This part was somewhat of a snooze to me. It reeked of an adult who either didn’t have a good idea of how Youtube works or was willing to ignore it to push a plot point regardless of its impracticality. It goes way too well for kids who barely know what they’re doing and for how oversaturated Youtube would have been even in 2017. They don’t even go viral or anything, they just somehow gain a notable platform. This obviously is possible, it’s just so rare especially for what the channel was doing. The level that they reach with so little effort took me out of it. I googled Barry Lyga and he would have been 46 when this was released so in his early-ish 40s when he wrote this most likely. Not all older people are unfamiliar with the landscape of online culture, but admittedly I did think ‘that explains it’ when I found out his age.
I’d strongly recommend this book. Sebastian’s voice while distinct can be kind of dull. If you don’t like it initially it’s a real toss-up whether it’ll grow on you. I think it emphasized how Sebastian perceived his life to be an endless, monotonous road stretched out before him. I felt like I too was suffocating under the weight of time’s relentless march forward (to be fair I already have this fear so it was easier for me to connect on that level) but it also can feel detached at times, incidentally rather than on purpose. Brace yourself for the ending to fall flat. However, don’t let that stop you from reading it. I think it really communicates how kids have heavy, personal battles too. If I was a kid when I read this I would have felt seen, and I think adults could really use the perspective.
mbrandmaier's review against another edition
4.0
Sebastian does not remember killing his baby sister while playing with a gun as a toddler, but that does not stop the crushing guilt he feels every minute of every day. Dad was unable to cope with the grief and left. Mom comes home from work every night and mostly shuts herself in her room for the night. Sebastian is so buried in his own guilt that he has decided to end his own life, date tbd.
This horrifying event is creeping ever closer when Aneesa enters Sebastian's life. He begins spending more time with her and developing feelings for her. The only problem is, the voice telling him to kill himself has not went away, and he is going to have to answer that voice sooner or later.
This horrifying event is creeping ever closer when Aneesa enters Sebastian's life. He begins spending more time with her and developing feelings for her. The only problem is, the voice telling him to kill himself has not went away, and he is going to have to answer that voice sooner or later.