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4.14 AVERAGE
4.14 AVERAGE
When I say I loved this book... I really loved it. I read 80% of it in one day and only stopped because my eyes were closing, and I really needed to sleep.
I know I’m 37, but I still love YA. If the story and characters are beautifully written, age doesn’t matter. As a mother who hopes her children will enjoy reading, I find myself making mental notes while reading YA books—thinking about whether they’d be great recommendations for my kids when they reach the right age.
This book follows Ben, an 18-year-old non-binary teenager who comes out to their parents. Unfortunately, instead of offering support, their parents reject them and throw them out of the house. With nowhere else to go, Ben moves in with their estranged sister, Hannah, whom they haven’t seen in ten years. This marks a complete shift in Ben’s life—they move an hour away, transfer to a new school, and try to cope with the trauma of being abandoned by their parents.
This book is so beautifully written. It highlights the struggles of teenagers and young adults in the LGBTQIAP+ community—not just the difficulty of coming out, but the fear of whether their loved ones will accept them. It also explores important themes such as body dysmorphia, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. It’s an eye-opening read that offers deep insight into what many young people go through.
I honestly couldn’t put this book down, and I kept rooting for Ben. They are such a well-developed character, and we become so attuned to their emotions and thoughts. It’s impossible not to sympathize with them and everything they’re going through. Some readers might feel frustrated at times because Ben barely communicates, often giving one-word answers, but this is such a realistic portrayal of how people with depression navigate life. I also appreciated how Ben embraced therapy and used it to process their emotions and frustrations.
The side characters are just as incredible. Hannah struggles with the guilt of not being in Ben’s life for ten years, and their relationship is so beautifully explored. Mariam, with their unwavering support and honesty, even tough being far away—I just wish we had even more of them and their activism.
And Nathan… oh, Nathan. What an amazing person and friend. He brought so much light to Ben’s life and to this book. Their friendship was so touching, and the way their feelings developed felt incredibly natural and realistic.
If there’s one thing I would have wanted more of, it’s time with the side characters. I wouldn’t have minded if the book was longer so we could see more interactions and dive deeper into their lives. I also felt that some of the therapist’s inputs were a bit inappropriate and lacked professionalism at times.
I absolutely want to buy a physical copy of this book and recommend it to my children when they’re older. I truly believe this story will teach them about empathy, acceptance, and the struggles that many teenagers face. Most importantly, it will show them the importance of being supportive and kind.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I liked this. It was a good balance of realism (anxiety, transphobic parents) and hope + cute romance. Deaver is non-binary and therefore an appropriate person to explore some of the more sensitive topics that come up in this book, like body dysphoria and having to choose between the unknown of coming out and the pain of being misgendered. Given the choice, I'd also rather young adults learn about non-binary identities from an author who isn't going to make obvious, cringeworthy mistakes when writing about the experience. The audiobook narrator (who I'm guessing is non-binary and maybe that's why they were chosen?) is not terrible, but not the best; they don't do much in the way of character voices, which is rough in a book with lots of dialogue that doesn't always have speech tags.
A few things that interfered with my enjoyment of the story:
-The writing is good but not great. With the exceptions of Ben and Nathan, the characters didn't have strong, memorable personalities. (Like, tell me what the major differences between Meleika and Sophie were, other than their races.) The author chooses to fade out and skip ahead at certain points that left me with unanswered questions.For example, how did Nathan handle talking about Ben to Meleika and Sophie until Ben was ready to come out to them weeks later?
-In the early part of the book there were some hints that Ben has an eating disorder, but then that never actually came to pass and I'm now unclear about what some of their comments meant.
-The fact thatNathan and Ben repeatedly hold hands, and Ben doesn't bring that up when Mariam asks if they have any evidence that Nathan is interested in them, or even reflect at any point that that's not a typical thing guys do (and Nathan thinks Ben is a guy) just struck me as odd.
-Nathan has definite Golden Retriever vibes, yes, but he also has a little bit I'm-going-to-stalk-you-until-you-date-me vibes when he's trying to get Ben to be friends with him. I know he's supposed to have a kind of hard-to-dim personality, but I wish he'd shown more respect for Ben's comfort level while pursuing them initially.
-At the art show, Hannah repeatedly uses they/them pronouns for Ben when arguing with her parents in front of a crowd of people, and somehow literally no one catches that, even Nathan?? I was really expecting that to be the way that Nathan finds out, but somehow he was oblivious. When Dr. Taylor asks Ben if their parents outed them during the art show confrontation, Ben just says no and never mentions Hannah using their pronouns in front of everyone.
I'm definitely glad this book is out there, even if the writing had some of the hallmarks of an average YA book that I don't particularly care for. I'm glad to have read it and would recommend it, especially if you don't already know a lot about the experiences some trans and non-binary people have.
A few things that interfered with my enjoyment of the story:
-The writing is good but not great. With the exceptions of Ben and Nathan, the characters didn't have strong, memorable personalities. (Like, tell me what the major differences between Meleika and Sophie were, other than their races.) The author chooses to fade out and skip ahead at certain points that left me with unanswered questions.
-In the early part of the book there were some hints that Ben has an eating disorder, but then that never actually came to pass and I'm now unclear about what some of their comments meant.
-The fact that
-Nathan has definite Golden Retriever vibes, yes, but he also has a little bit I'm-going-to-stalk-you-until-you-date-me vibes when he's trying to get Ben to be friends with him. I know he's supposed to have a kind of hard-to-dim personality, but I wish he'd shown more respect for Ben's comfort level while pursuing them initially.
-
I'm definitely glad this book is out there, even if the writing had some of the hallmarks of an average YA book that I don't particularly care for. I'm glad to have read it and would recommend it, especially if you don't already know a lot about the experiences some trans and non-binary people have.
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Ben struggles to tell his family — and even his friends — that he is nonbinary. There is someone out there who needs this book. This book will help kids who need a safe place and a place to feel heard. Important work by author Mason Deaver.
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
fast-paced
