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The Coach to Hell by Rachel Cosgrove Payes

minabear's review

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2.0

The Coach to Hell was a bit of disappointment for me after reading Rachel Cosgrove Payes' [b:Moment of Desire|8468673|Moment of Desire|Rachel Cosgrove Payes|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1277059767s/8468673.jpg|13333278]. While that book had a heroine who was put into awful situations and tried to make the best of them while always knowing her mind, this book's heroine is a wishy-washy sort that just goes with the flow because that's what toilet paper does. Since I read tCtH a few years ago, the plot points are still fresh in my mind, but I've forgotten most characters' names, so I apologize beforehand for being vague about that.

TCtH is a paranormal/gothic bodice-ripper about beautiful, orphaned Georgina who is forced out of her home to avoid the lusty clutches of a local pervert. Georgina is gifted with a special sight; like some sort of psychic blood-hound, she has the ability to touch an item an immediately glean information about its history or find a hidden object if she touches items associated with it. Her ESP is the Chekhov's gun of this novel as it will be instrumental in the plot's resolution, what little there is of it.

She heads on her way to visit a distant cousin. On her coach ride to a new town, Georgina meets a dashing red-haired coachman, whom she falls for even though she's warned that he's the love-them-and-leave-them type, with different women in every town on his passage. As a bastard with no fortune but lots of sex-appeal, the hero is working to save money to find a lawyer who will take on his case to find the truth about his parentage. He tells Georgina that the man she's going to live with is his younger half-brother and a nobleman, but is not the legitimate and true heir. The hero wants Georgie to find any information that will prove his claim, and Georgie promises to do her best.

Her best is...well...you'll see.

Meanwhile, the Lord of a half-brother is also a charismatic hunk, who openly lives with his mistress, but wouldn't mind tossing her over if Georgie were interested in taking her place. But Georgie has her dashing coachman and wouldn't dream of being unfaithful to--

Nope, forget that.

Back in her hometown, when some creepy old dude wanted for her for his mistress, Georgie's upstanding morals wouldn't allow for such a dishonor, but now that she's in love with a young, handsome dude and living with his hot, rich brother... Morals? Pffft. That's for poor people who don't live in fancy manors.

The best part of this book is where
Georgina has the hero in her room for a late night tryst, but then the brother comes into the room for the same thing, forcing the hero to hide in the wardrobe. Georgina can't shoo the brother away by being smart enough to just say she's on her period or something, so while the hero conceals himself in the closet like some teenaged boy hiding from an angry father, Georgie is banging the half-brother in her bed. And the half-brother is so good at it, that Georgina forgets everything and moans away in ecstasy, giving the hero something special to listen to.

So this being a bodice-ripper, and the hero being an arrogant alpha and all, does he burst out into the room and kill them both in a rage? Nope. He stays there, sitting and sulking, while his hated enemy bangs the woman he loves, bringing her to orgasmic heights.
This scene was so WTF and made me wish that tCtH had included more juicy bits like this...

After that, though, I lost all respect for the hero. I mean, I wasn't expecting him to go all wifebeater on the heroine, but he could have at least punched the lights out of his half-brother. I can't root for a cucked hero, so I just read to get to the end of the story.
(***ETA  photo cuckold horns.png)

Remember Georgina's special kind of ESP? Well, it serves the plot's purpose.

You didn't actually think the hero wasn't the real Lord, did you? Oh, noes, I gave away the ending! (Hey, if you're reading these cheesy books you know they end perfectly Happily Ever After, no matter how discombobulating the path to ever after is.)

I really wished I had enjoyed this book more, but the heroine was just too stupid for words and after losing all respect for the hero it was a 2 1/2 star read for me.