Scan barcode
the_true_monroe's review against another edition
dark
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Starting off with what I disliked.
While I appreciate the author’s note and how personal this book is to the author, and how there was a lot of research into mental health and suicide, I could not see much past how badly certain topics were portrayed. Not in the way of “everyone grieves differently” or “this is real life” because all of that is true- this book did not need a happy ending and it was important to include a lot of the stuff we wish did not happen- but in how some things that were very inappropriate or not recommended were not even touched upon.
One thing I wish there was more of in the book was that suicide support group. Although that was not really a realistic portrayal of a group (at least one that is run well) as they literally had everyone share their diagnoses and method of previous suicide attempt (which today goes against safe suicide messaging) introducing another part of who Amanda was was really nice even if she did horribly out Finch to Violet despite her knowing how much she would hate of anyone knew she herself was there.Although it was all nice when Ryan and Amanda joined Violet and Finch’s other friends for a tribute to Finch, we did not have enough character development of Amanda and especially Ryan to justify them being any different from the other mourners at the school who at best never paid any attention to Finch and at worst tormented him.
Also, Finch was pretty coercive and pushy towards Violet such as when he ripped up her note twice when she did not have a direct “yes” … like cool, you are looking for direct consent but you did not except anything but that.
And now, what I appreciated!
I did like Finch’s counselor - he was genuine and even though he started out kind of “eh” for me, he was actually direct with Finch and tried so much to help him beyond actually making him get additional help, which he acknowledges he could have done more anyway. And also, people need to want to get help and Finch did, multiple times. But even the people who fight most against suicide- for themselves and others- end up dying by suicide. And even though people say this book romanticized suicide (which I can see, especially with Violet going on the journey to visit the remaining wandering spots), I think having seen Finch in so many different states of mind- the backs and forths of what his illness does to him, and how he KNEW he wanted to live at so many points, and appreciated life and being awake- he still ended up taking his life. And that happens… a lot. Some of the best advocates for suicide prevention die by suicide even with years of saying “there is always help” and “I am here for you”. I am a suicide prevention advocate myself but also know that a lot of messaging around suicide prevention can make it seem like loved ones did something wrong or did not try hard enough. This books gets that right- how that is in no way true and suicide prevention is not about you as one person preventing a suicide but it is a collective effort across the lifespan for people to recognize the signs, and have the resources to help both themselves and others.
Closing thoughts:
While I clearly disliked this book overall, I am so glad I read it. As a suicide prevention advocate it is interesting to me to read and watch different portrayals of mental health and suicide over time. Even since this was written in 2015, so much has changed to where I know the movie addressed some things that this book did not (although I need to watch it still). I feel like if I read it around when it came out, I would have loved this as I did Thirteen Reasons Why.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Death, Toxic relationship, Grief, Mental illness, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Toxic friendship and Stalking
Minor: Eating disorder, Ableism, Homophobia, Sexual content, Car accident, and Animal death
braylenb's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Suicide attempt, Stalking, Death, and Medical trauma
More...