Reviews tagging 'Self harm'
The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness, by Fumitake Koga, Ichiro Kishimi
6 reviews
lanellejvv's review against another edition
3.5
Approach this book with caution. There are many concepts that are harmful including: mention of denying trauma, a harmful approach to looking at abuse through a lense that feels a bit self-gas-light-y and similar mistreatment of reasoning behind self harm. That being said, this book contained some gems of wisdom and some much needed reminders. If you are the kind of person that is able to take what you find helpful from teaching and leave the rest then it’s for sure worth a read.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Self harm, Gaslighting, and Child abuse
_kael_'s review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
5.0
Genres: self-help/personal development, philosophy, psychology, Adlerian psychology (Alfred Adler)
Thoughts: Packed with information cover to cover, which is a lot for an approx. 250-page book for me. A general learning I got from the book is to apply what you've learned in life, even in the smallest, biggest, & most complex problems that you have. Ofc, have nuance on certain things. Some statements are questionable, and I think I can only remember 1-2 that I highly disagree with. One I really had a big emotional reaction to, concluding "attention-seeking" as the only purpose/reason why certain acts are done by people, specifically the youth . Many are new, things you already knew, and things to ponder about. Though some statements contradict themselves, stating trauma doesn't exist but based on their future statements, they imply that it does. Regardless, everything is explained in detail in a way that cliche advice makes more deeper and broader sense, and gives you a deeper understanding, meaning, and realization to that advice. You can read summaries and highlights of this book, but I still suggest you read it entirely to understand those points in depth yourself. It gives a completely different experience. Despite the cons, the pros outweigh it (at about 90%?) that I want to keep the book as a reference book for life advice whenever needed, even if I already took down notes. Would love to discuss about this book though. Loved it from the beginning, still loved it 'til the end. It was also emotional in a way that I remember sad memories. What a roller coaster ride! In order to fully appreciate the book, don't take everything you learn as surefire 100% correct since some claims here don't really mention the source other than who said what. As an amateur, I can still completely claim that some statements aren't accurate like the attention-seeking part. Always filter the advice you get and take the best ones applicable and helpful to you. Maybe even convert unhelpful ones in a way that benefits you.
Writing: I also liked the writing style. I think this is the 3rd self-help book that I've ever read in my entire life, and I prefer this style of writing, Intro > Examples > P's Disclaimers > Y's Q's & Rebuttals > Conclusions, over the paragraph form of mentioning the advice > real life story example > citing specific applicable sources > etc. I can't seem to continue reading such books and I lose interest. I like how this is straight to the point, and the narrative/dialogue format of two people conversing made me engaged in the story and eat up the book daily if I could. The way the chapters start and end remind me of story books. 90 if not 100% of the chapters weren't bland. Though 80-90% of the youth's "replies" for the entire book that don't really add anything to the topics were completely unnecessary. He just repeats the Philosopher's main points in question form, and I think that's what made the book 10% longer. Though there are times that the things P & Y (Philosopher & Youth) were saying are repetitive of their previous points in the chapter, specifically the P. Some conclusions I found unnecessary for I already got the explanation from the chapter intros.Also for someone whose intention is to prove someone wrong, he was quick to change his attitude at the very last chapter.
Happy reading!
Thoughts: Packed with information cover to cover, which is a lot for an approx. 250-page book for me. A general learning I got from the book is to apply what you've learned in life, even in the smallest, biggest, & most complex problems that you have. Ofc, have nuance on certain things. Some statements are questionable, and I think I can only remember 1-2 that I highly disagree with. One I really had a big emotional reaction to
Spoiler
Writing: I also liked the writing style. I think this is the 3rd self-help book that I've ever read in my entire life, and I prefer this style of writing, Intro > Examples > P's Disclaimers > Y's Q's & Rebuttals > Conclusions, over the paragraph form of mentioning the advice > real life story example > citing specific applicable sources > etc. I can't seem to continue reading such books and I lose interest. I like how this is straight to the point, and the narrative/dialogue format of two people conversing made me engaged in the story and eat up the book daily if I could. The way the chapters start and end remind me of story books. 90 if not 100% of the chapters weren't bland. Though 80-90% of the youth's "replies" for the entire book that don't really add anything to the topics were completely unnecessary. He just repeats the Philosopher's main points in question form, and I think that's what made the book 10% longer. Though there are times that the things P & Y (Philosopher & Youth) were saying are repetitive of their previous points in the chapter, specifically the P. Some conclusions I found unnecessary for I already got the explanation from the chapter intros.
Spoiler
Happy reading!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Medical content, Mental illness, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Chronic illness, Terminal illness, and War
Moderate: Sexism
Minor: Infidelity and Injury/Injury detail
Trauma, Concluding "attention-seeking" as the only purpose/reason why certain acts are done by people, specifically the youthpipn_t's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
1.0
Reading sort of a socratic dialogue was fun, but it was really ableist so I don't recommend.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism
Minor: Self harm
bishopbox's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
medium-paced
1.75
This book could be helpful to somebody. But in general, there is a lot of chalking up mental illness to be "just not wanting to do something." This would be a lot less offensive if it weren't for the fact that the book directly tries to tie it to mental illness. If it were making blanket statements and forgetting that there are some people this doesn't apply to, that would be a completely different thing. But this book gives multiple examples of showcasing mentally ill people.
As other reviewers have pointed out, this book does not discuss Japanese philosophy as advertised, but Alderian philosophy instead.
The only reason I have not rated it lower is that the writing style was actually pretty enjoyable. I liked the format of the book being a discussion between two people. The banter was an enjoyable way to present this story. However, I still would not recommend this book unless you are looking specifically for Adlerian philosophy.
As other reviewers have pointed out, this book does not discuss Japanese philosophy as advertised, but Alderian philosophy instead.
The only reason I have not rated it lower is that the writing style was actually pretty enjoyable. I liked the format of the book being a discussion between two people. The banter was an enjoyable way to present this story. However, I still would not recommend this book unless you are looking specifically for Adlerian philosophy.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Mental illness, Self harm, Ableism, and Panic attacks/disorders
The ableism present in this book is not described as such but shown by the author's point of view. The author presents multiple ideas that are ableist. It also mentions social anxiety and agoraphobia.bokmoth's review against another edition
sad
slow-paced
1.0
How about the courage to dislike this book! I didn’t enjoy this book because it was written in dialogue, I feel like I would’ve gotten more from it if it was written in multiple essays. There’s also a lot of hype around this book so I was very excited but not impressed. Also I don’t agree with some of what the book was teaching. I think it would be hard for someone with trama to read this book.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Self harm
shewantsthediction's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
tense
slow-paced
2.0
- The title is very misleading. This book is not about anything Japanese, but Adlerian psychology.
- It's written in the form of a Socratic dialogue between a detached know-it-all old guy and a hotheaded kid, which started out entertaining, but quickly became a tiresome, repetitive device.
- Trauma is absolutely real. As someone who experienced child abuse and has been only recently coming to terms with it a decade later, the suggestion that "trauma doesn't exist" is insensitive, grossly offensive, and a harmful oversimplification. It's also a complete misunderstanding of what victims go through, and it's clear to me the authors of this book have never experienced abuse. I suggest The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk if you're looking for a general understanding, or Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker if you're a survivor yourself. What this book gets wrong about trauma is that you're simultaneously a victim and also not. You were harmed, but healing only comes once you're able to identify as a survivor and change your mental narrative moving forward. This, in turn, is only possible once you're able to confront, explore, and integrate the past—which is next to impossible for survivors who have repressed or forgotten memories, dissociated, or are avoidant. Outright denying that trauma exists, gaslighting survivors, and telling them to just "get over it" or "forget about it because it's in the past" is NOT the answer. The only way out is through. Healing from trauma takes hard work, and it's a process that looks different for everybody.
- People who self-harm are not "doing it for the attention." Honestly I should've DNFed right there. Absolutely disgusting attitude and again, displays a total misunderstanding of mental illness. There were also some off comments about suicide and disabilities.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Mental illness, Self harm, and Suicide
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