Scan barcode
samugranjo's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
“It has always been hard for me to talk about Julian without romanticizing him. In many ways, I loved him the most of all; and it is with him that I am most tempted to embroider, to flatter, to basically reinvent. I think that is because Julian himself was constantly in the process of reinventing the people and events around him, conferring kindness, or wisdom, or bravery, or charm, on actions which contained nothing of the sort. It was one of the reasons I loved him: for that flattering light in which he saw me, for the person I was when I was with him, for what it was he allowed me to be” (p. 576)
My entire life I feel like I have been constructing intricate characters of which the skin I can dress myself with, representing a capsule of ideas and values and how I desire to translate these to the exterior. My own name has been chosen on the basis of a character that could represent everything I wish I would be, as well as everything I wish I wasn’t nicely accompanied by people to love me for it anyways. As a queer person who grew up surrounded by social media and mental health issues, I often regard my life as an endless performance. Even my love for reading started as an attempt to be more like the people who read around me – I feel in love with the act of reading before I can remember falling in love with a book itself.
“Though Julian could be marvelously kind in difficult circumstances of all sorts, I sometimes got the feeling that he was less pleased by kindness itself than by the elegance of the gesture.” (p. 539)
If I search my memory well enough, I can find some vivid memories of playing dress up and makeover games in primary school. This was done with a notebook on the side, so I could make notes of everything I did to the animations and be able to do the same to myself later on. These lists of things I would do before the new year, new month, new week, were not just beauty centered. In my mind they translated into making friends, being positively perceived, having good grades and above else just having a clue of what I was doing and enjoying myself while doing it.
“I had spent dozens of hours studying the photographs as though if I stared at them long enough and longingly enough I would, by some sort of osmosis, be transported into their clear, pure silence. Even now I remember those pictures, like pictures in a storybook one loved as a child." (p.10)
I learned how to present myself and how to translate how I wanted to be perceived into aesthetic ideals before I could even quite grasp what those ideals meant, and until this day I have a hard time letting go of this desire for image base simplification.
“Viewed from a distance, his character projected an impression of solidity and wholeness which was in fact as insubstantial as a hologram; up close, he was all motes and light, you could pass your hand right through him. If you stepped back far enough, however, the illusion would click in again and there he would be, bigger than life, squinting at you from behind his little glasses and raking back a dank lock of hair with one hand. A character like his disintegrates under analysis. It can only be denned by the anecdote, the chance encounter or the sentence overheard.” (p. 438)
The morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs (p. 5) is culturally ingrained in us, and in the present, it can be interesting to consider what role does social media and image based websites have on this. We are all increasingly longing for outer beauty and constructing and shifting aesthetic ideals, so we can chase them and feel in control of how we are perceived and what our life is made of. But we often forgot that we also need to fill the shell itself. These aesthetics can be fun and even empowering at times, but on their own they will not make us fulfilled, they will fail in giving us a sense of community as well as one of individuality. And above all, they leave us with a sore taste in our mouths and a sense of disappointment, because the more we attempt to find fulfillment in them, the more we feel like the failure is in ourselves – the aesthetic is not the right one or we are not letting ourselves fall into it enough – and not in the chase itself.
“'After all, the appeal to stop being yourself, even for a little while, is very great,' he said. 'To escape the cognitive mode of experience, to transcend the accident of one's moment of being. (…) . But one mustn't underestimate the primal appeal – to lose one's self, lose it utterly. And in losing it be born to the principle of continuous life, outside the prison of mortality and time.” (p. 182)
And when does it stop? When does the disconnect become too striking to be ignored any longer? When does the romanization start to make the thing itself rotten and disappointing and how do we avoid that? When do we stop and recognize that just because we are deeply absorbed by this road it does not mean we should keep following it?
“There is nothing wrong with the love of Beauty. But Beauty – unless she is wed to something more meaningful – is always superficial. It is not that your Julian chooses solely to concentrate on certain, exalted things; it is that he chooses to ignore others equally as important.” (p. 577)
The imaginary world, the picturesque and its beauty, can be tremendous tools in driving through the madness of the real world. But on itself they are not enough, we need to find fulfillment in reality, and love in presence.
Original review at: The dangers of longing for the picturesque - A... - Ethereal Ageing (tumblr.com)
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Xenophobia, Murder, Drug use, Domestic abuse, Grief, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Blood, Toxic friendship, Classism, Cursing, Violence, Suicide attempt, Incest, Addiction, Death, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Body horror, Drug abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Animal cruelty, Homophobia, Animal death, Chronic illness, Mental illness, Physical abuse, and Medical content
Minor: Sexual violence, Cancer, Gun violence, and Child abuse
daybreakreads's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Last 10%: twist ending was interesting, and I enjoyed it, but it didn’t justify the 22 hours I spent listening to the audiobook. The author was the voice actor, and the voice she used for Bunny was incredibly irritating.
Interesting notes:
- this is a slow burn. Doesn’t pick up at all until ~50%. The writing style is intriguing
- none of the characters (even side ones) are “good guys”
- there’s a ton of random racist/antisemetic/homophobic comments, but they’re usually a one-off thing. The only exception to this was 3/4 of the way through there was a recurring trend of anti-Arab things that served no point to the overall plot whatsoever. It was odd for a book written in the 90s. There was a fake country full of “jihadist terrorists” mentioned several times, “sand [n word]” used against a Palestinian (who was only written for a brief moment in which he was yelling as the “angry Arab man” stereotype, “Arab” and “Arabic” were used incorrectly, general xenophobic remarks, etc. And then it just randomly stopped.
As a Muslim the last thing just came across a bit ridiculous more than anything. I didn’t see the relevance, or the reason to focus significantly more on that than the other marginalized groups.
Graphic: Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Alcoholism, Physical abuse, Self harm, Mental illness, Child death, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Alcohol, Classism, Death, Incest, Blood, Bullying, Drug use, Grief, Gun violence, Panic attacks/disorders, Xenophobia, and Violence
Minor: Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Fire/Fire injury, Infidelity, Sexual assault, Antisemitism, Homophobia, Domestic abuse, Rape, Islamophobia, Racial slurs, and War
star_oats's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Blood, Emotional abuse, Drug use, Murder, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Bullying, Panic attacks/disorders, Racial slurs, Violence, Vomit, Suicide attempt, Classism, Cursing, Death, Gaslighting, Grief, Toxic relationship, Animal death, Antisemitism, Misogyny, Outing, Sexual harassment, Suicide, Homophobia, Incest, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Racism, Self harm, Sexual content, Toxic friendship, and Xenophobia
c1nega's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Alcoholism, Animal death, Suicidal thoughts, Racism, Body horror, Classism, Xenophobia, Toxic friendship, Racial slurs, Panic attacks/disorders, and Murder
Minor: Homophobia, Addiction, Emotional abuse, Incest, and Islamophobia
kelseyr713's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
It definitely made the English Literature major part of my brain light up again though. I was thinking about essay topics as I read (the amount of character analysis alone…)
Graphic: Alcoholism, Toxic friendship, Suicide, Addiction, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, Murder, Classism, Racial slurs, and Alcohol
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Gore, Panic attacks/disorders, Animal cruelty, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Animal death, Xenophobia, Drug use, Abandonment, Incest, Blood, Car accident, Antisemitism, Racism, Rape, Gun violence, Injury/Injury detail, Misogyny, Drug abuse, Grief, Infidelity, Mental illness, Self harm, Medical content, Physical abuse, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, and Violence
karadactyl's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Graphic: Racial slurs, Addiction, Drug abuse, Murder, Xenophobia, Transphobia, Death, Toxic friendship, and Drug use
Moderate: Homophobia, Suicide, and Biphobia
Minor: Suicide attempt
its_phi's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Murder, Suicide, Alcoholism, and Incest
Moderate: Racial slurs, Xenophobia, Racism, and Homophobia
Minor: Rape
racheltrow_'s review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Graphic: Suicide, Murder, and Incest
Moderate: Racial slurs, Antisemitism, Homophobia, Racism, and Xenophobia
Minor: Rape
c410berry's review against another edition
4.5
Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, and Murder
Moderate: Blood, Gun violence, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Homophobia, Xenophobia, and Eating disorder
stvalentine's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Grief, Animal cruelty, Car accident, Confinement, Cursing, Drug abuse, Homophobia, Incest, Medical content, Suicide attempt, Violence, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Gore, Gun violence, Animal death, Blood, Death, Xenophobia, Infidelity, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic friendship, Drug use, and Vomit
Moderate: Classism, Confinement, Addiction, and Racism