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3.84 AVERAGE
3.84 AVERAGE
dark
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dark
emotional
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sad
medium-paced
I'm not rating this because that would be bizarre, but wow. Wrenching, heartbreaking, suffocating in its description of the totality of grief. A raw and deeply honest portrayal of profound suffering and moving through grief.
On December 26, 2004 a devastating tsunami swept ashore in Sri Lanka. Sonali Deraniyagala was in the path of the wave, along with her two sons, husband, and parents. Of her family, she was the only one to survive. This book is about her experiences right before, during, and after the tsunami and about her grief. This book obviously covers a very serious topic of life and loss and the author writes eloquently about both. She describes the surprise of returning to the beach some time later and finding a piece of paper from her husband. And stalking the new occupants of the home she used to live in. It's a sad journey to be sure, but the reader is left with the feeling that she is going to be okay by the end. Forever changed, but okay.
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out of an unimaginable tragedy comes an unimaginable memoir of loss and grief. while reading this book i was constantly wondering how deraniyagala managed to so eloquently capture her pain and heartache. i think this is quite a testament to the love she has for her husband and children, and her parents. as well as a reflection of her own incredible strength. this read is a total gut-punch, as deraniyagala navigates her life post-tsunami and shares it with us. we are given tender glimpses of her family life before the boxing day disaster. these vignettes help us know her family in a more nuanced way. i hope that writing this book gave deraniyagala some comfort and help. while i just cannot even imagine her experience (though i now have had such a vivid look), some of her observations and commentary were relatable to me - from times in my life when i have struggled with grief and loss.
[a:Teju Cole|1042875|Teju Cole|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1296114339p2/1042875.jpg] reviewed the book for the new yorker: http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/a-better-quality-of-agony
[a:Teju Cole|1042875|Teju Cole|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1296114339p2/1042875.jpg] reviewed the book for the new yorker: http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/a-better-quality-of-agony
"Grief is a frightening condition, and at its extreme is like the sun: impossible to look at directly. That Deraniyagala wrote down what happened is understandable. But why would some unconcerned individual, someone who has not been similarly shattered, wish to read this book? Yet read it we must, for it contains solemn and essential truths. I am reminded of what Anne Carson wrote in the introduction to [b:Grief Lessons: Four Plays|1466|Grief Lessons Four Plays|Euripides|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1386924222s/1466.jpg|1221846], her translation of four plays by Euripides: "Grief and rage—you need to contain that, to put a frame around it, where it can play itself out without you or your kin having to die. There is a theory that watching unbearable stories about other people lost in grief and rage is good for you—may cleanse you of darkness. Do you want to go down to the pits of yourself all alone? Not much. What if an actor could do it for you? Isn’t that why they are called actors? They act for you."
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This was an extremely devastating memoir and it would be hard for me to recommend this to anyone. But I believe people’s stories should be heard and she deserves all 5 stars for her experience.