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fenemiestolovers's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
2.75
Had a lot of good insight and information and I would be interested to know how I would have responded to this book much earlier in my codependency recovery journey. That being said, some of the examples given made me outright uncomfortable and I wish there had been more focus on codependency outside of relationships with those struggling with alcoholism. Would recommend with some heavy content warnings and to be taken with many grains of salt. Though I will be taking away some ideas going forward! A mixed bag.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug abuse, Drug use, Addiction, Mental illness, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Fatphobia, Eating disorder, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Child death, Grief, Infidelity, Fire/Fire injury, Self harm, Gaslighting, Death of parent, and Panic attacks/disorders
Minor: Cancer, Medical trauma, Terminal illness, and Physical abuse
beanjoles's review against another edition
3.0
I skimmed this book because I’ve heard a lot about how good it is from various folks over the years. In short: it’s a product of its time, and it is highly specific to people in intimate relationships with alcoholics. I’m not in that target audience (I read it more because I deal with these tendencies due to abuse as a child) so that may be why I didn’t get as much out of it as I was hoping. Mostly I found this to be affirming of the things I am already working on rather than giving me anything new to consider. It was, however, really warming and helpful to read in plain text that there’s nothing wrong with me for being, well, human, and that I am competent to live my own life and make my own choices regardless of whether someone else approves.
If you, like me, have trauma that was actually caused by religion, then be aware that this book talks about the Christian God a lot. I don’t know if this is because of the author’s personal beliefs, because it relies heavily on the AA framework, or because a general belief in god was more taken for granted at that point, but regardless—be prepared to skim frequently.
Also: Way too many quotes from Julie Hollis’s Fat is a Family Affair. Which is a fucked up subject in general… Definitely made me feel a bit suspicious of this book tbh.
If you, like me, have trauma that was actually caused by religion, then be aware that this book talks about the Christian God a lot. I don’t know if this is because of the author’s personal beliefs, because it relies heavily on the AA framework, or because a general belief in god was more taken for granted at that point, but regardless—be prepared to skim frequently.
Also: Way too many quotes from Julie Hollis’s Fat is a Family Affair. Which is a fucked up subject in general… Definitely made me feel a bit suspicious of this book tbh.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Fatphobia, Alcoholism, and Religious bigotry
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