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rachellarson2019's review against another edition
2.0
DNF
This book is really geared toward people who have alcoholics in their lives. I think our culture’s understanding of codependency has changed quite a bit and I was looking more for a book about codependent people pleasing rather than manic behavior to try to manipulate addicts into doing what you want them to do.
This book is really geared toward people who have alcoholics in their lives. I think our culture’s understanding of codependency has changed quite a bit and I was looking more for a book about codependent people pleasing rather than manic behavior to try to manipulate addicts into doing what you want them to do.
kimreadwithme's review against another edition
challenging
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
I think this will be a book I come back to again and again because I found all of the information so relatable and helpful. I am so grateful to Melody for writing this book, I learned so much and I now have a word and explanation for what I have been experiencing my whole life. Can’t recommend this book enough for anyone who struggles with codependency.
ingread27's review against another edition
3.0
I read some reviews before I started this book, so I knew it would have a bias toward living with alcoholics, and a strong Christian theme. And so, with those grains of salt in hand, I ventured forth. The best thing about this book is all the self-identifying examples and language. I had never thought of myself as codependent, as I was very independent my whole life. For any of you who don't think you are codependent, but tend to care for others, are in a healing profession, or feel unappreciated, i highly recommend reading this book. You might get a glimpse of yourself. Now that I've read the book, I'm hearing friends and strangers use language that indicates codependency all the time. I'm more aware of it now. That doesn't mean they are suffering and need to seek help or anything. I just think many of us have some of these tendencies, and being aware of them allows us to grow and change.
What I did not appreciate about the book was the aforementioned focus on alcoholism and addiction. I understand that the author is only sharing her experience, and so she should, but it is truly heavily biased toward this particular type of codependent relationship, the spouse of an alcoholic. There was an entire chapter on the 12 step process which was entirely unnecessary in my opinion - that can be found in so many other books. But was easy enough to skip. Overall, it is considered an excellent resource for codependency because it was one of the first to put it all together, and I'm glad it was written. I'm glad I read it. Just don't expect much more than self-awareness from reading it. That in itself is already a huge gain.
What I did not appreciate about the book was the aforementioned focus on alcoholism and addiction. I understand that the author is only sharing her experience, and so she should, but it is truly heavily biased toward this particular type of codependent relationship, the spouse of an alcoholic. There was an entire chapter on the 12 step process which was entirely unnecessary in my opinion - that can be found in so many other books. But was easy enough to skip. Overall, it is considered an excellent resource for codependency because it was one of the first to put it all together, and I'm glad it was written. I'm glad I read it. Just don't expect much more than self-awareness from reading it. That in itself is already a huge gain.
kat2's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I read this in the 80s when it was first published, and reading it again decades later is stunning. Clearly I didn’t absorb its lessons then. Hope I can now! “I believe taking care of ourselves is an art, and this art involves one fundamental idea that is foreign to many: giving ourselves what we need.” (127)
xtie's review against another edition
4.0
As someone who hates the self-help genre, it’s saying alot that I actually found this helpful. To be fair, I skimmed most of it. And it probably didn’t help I was reading the 1st edition with a lot of v dated language. But I genuinely found this book a comfort and it reaffirmed a lot about what I’m learning in therapy. I would recommend it with a caveat from my therapist - especially for anyone who has historically been made responsible for other people (or taken on the mantle themselves!) - he said to take it all with a pinch of salt and take what’s only helpful for you. You are not obliged to read self help books like they are a playbook.