Reviews with content warning for Transphobia - Detransition, Baby

I feel conflicted on this - there were some parts I loved while others just didn't sit well with me. The story itself is heartbreaking and felt honest. I know some have taken issue with it in other reviews, but honestly I didn't feel that in the same way. I think a lot was placed on the concept of motherhood being so tied to womanhood and the strict gender roles that come with parenting, which is something that was interesting to read about and something that I found resonated. So much is tied to "mother" or "father" and as a society we really struggle to think outside of those bubbles.

Anyway, this was a decent read - if it's something that seems interesting, it's worth picking up.

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atuin's review against another edition

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challenging dark funny medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

A fascinating exploration of trans identity and relationships. This book focuses heavily on deeply flawed characters (especially Reese). Every character does deeply frustrating actions that nevertheless feel perfectly in character. There is discussion on how characters feel they must conform to certain stereotypes in order to validate their own gender identity, and the harm it does to them and the people they are close to. The ambiguous ending is indicative of the fact the book has no true answers to the many problems found within, and we, like the characters, have no choice but to try to figure out what solution is most fitting with the characters.

In particular, Reese became frustrating with her self destructive behavior and her refusal to learn from her mistakes, constantly doing the same thing over and over while refusing to accept responsibility. Even at the end she only felt bad about a mean letter, not the cheating or emotional abuse she committed.

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rachelle_reads's review

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challenging emotional hopeful

4.0

I have to admit I struggled a bit with this book, from my lens as a rather vanilla cishet woman. But wow, the author drew me into each person’s story, especially Reese’s. They each had such intricately drawn layers to their experiences of friendship, romance, womanhood, potential parenthood.

Parts of this book made me laugh out loud (that essential oils party was one!), and yet the author did not flinch in showing the uglier sides of life for trans women, including violence against Reese and a painfully awkward outing of Ames.

No doubt, this is a heavier read than most, but a thread of hope carries through.

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rjbedell's review

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medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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schopenhauers_poodle's review

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adventurous challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective relaxing sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

A book written about trans characters and by a trans author becoming a bestseller is a huge achievement on its own. The writing is, however, uneven though entertaining and promising.

"Detransition" has great pacing and an interesting premise based on some taboo topics, (detransitioning, entering into a hetero-passing relationship, etc.). I found myself re-reading the chapters focused on Ames and Reese's reflections on past relationships and coming out. Peters' writing shines in those parts with sincerity and a kind of painful, bittersweet memorializing of past selves. It touched me deeply.

Reese is my favorite and the most captivating of all the characters in the book. She's hurt, self-destructive, full of yearning, but also smart, thoughtful when she wants to be, observant, very funny, and full of emotional depth that the other two in the trio seem not able to access. Out of all the characters in the book she seems the most brave.

Conversely, the weakest of the trio and plot is Katrina. She is the least developed and least convincing character. Frankly, she's annoying. Peters writes her trans characters so vividly, but I think having a straight, cis, and Asian character was too far from her own experience to write to the same level of depth. It was hard for me to understand why Ames was so attracted to her and why he was so committed to a relationship with her.

In the reviews I've read, I've heard criticism of Peters' writing, specifically that the sentences are convoluted, awkward. I have a feeling she writes very close to her own speaking voice. If you share this criticism, the audiobook might be a better experience by restoring Peters' speaking cadence.

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sedgewren's review against another edition

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emotional funny sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

An intimate portrait of three infuriating, vulnerable, and funny women who live in New York and navigate their way around queer relationships, the trials and pains of being trans, gender, and trauma. The cuttingly insightful observations of womanhood, motherhood, familial, platonic and not-so-platonic relationships made this book breathtaking and fascinating. I was rooting for them the whole way through, despite their frustrating but understandable inability to communicate straightforwardly.

I think the ending was very fitting, even though it felt like things reversed back to the status quo: Ames is still insecure in her gender; Reese still doesn't have a baby; Katherine will have an abortion and lose another baby; none of them were ever ready for a baby, despite how much they wanted a family together. It was probably the best ending that would've been believable (no sudden Disney glow-ups into becoming the perfect parent)

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laurajw's review

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challenging dark emotional informative slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

I did enjoy this book however, I felt like there were moments where I just wanted to stop and put it down. It felt like it plodded along at a slower pace than I enjoy reading. I found it insightful about queerness and gender and gender identify and expression yet felt it fell flat on addressing my the intersectionality of race, queerness, and gender.

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