Reviews with content warning for Medical content - Detransition, Baby

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Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

35 reviews

just_one_more_paige's review

challenging emotional hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

This one has been on my TBR since before it came out, and during the time between publication and me getting to it, I got super lucky and found a used copy of it at one of my local library's online book sales. Woohoo! Needless to say, I bought it asap. And I am freaking thrilled to actually own it because after finishing it...WOW. This is deserving of every single award it's up for, and probably more.

Detransition, Baby is the story of three women on the (potential) cusp of motherhood. Reese is a trans woman longing to be a mother. She thought she almost had it all, a few years ago, with her partner Amy. But then Amy detransitioned, is now Ames, and Reese is stuck in a self-destructive pattern of sleeping with married men. Ames found a satisfying new sexual (and maybe more?) relationship with his boss Katrina...until Katrina gets pregnant. Ames through the years of hormone therapy had made him sterile, but apparently not. He isn't ready to face the identity crisis that being a "father" would cause. So, he suggests an unconventional solution to Katrina: reaching out to his ex, Reese, who has always wanted to be a mother, to parent as a threesome, in an effort to remove many of the complicated gender specifics that parenting as a outwardly cis couple would create. There are benefits to the arrangement for all three, Katrina included (as she isn't sure she wants to complete the pregnancy and compromise her career in favor of motherhood), but there is also quite a bit of history, emotional baggage, trust issues, want, and stressors threatening to overwhelm this fledgling family.

From the very first sentence, this is some of the most intelligent, quick writing that I have ever read. Like seriously, so early on (the "ennui of heterosexuality" part in particular had my jaw dropping right at the start), and throughout the rest of the book, Peters is able to put into words those opaque feelings most people cannot name in a way that makes so much sense and yet cuts deeply with its insight. And there are myriad social and cultural references (Psych-style, if you've ever watched that show) and it is damn fast, and smart. (Related to this particular writing-review commentary, there are quite a few quotes/passages that hit deeply. I have a number of them, though not all, listed at the end of this review.) Anyways basically, bottom line, this writing is f*cking spectacular!

And it's not just the writing that's so breathtaking. Peters' caustic but sensitive insights deep into humanity, and especially womanhood, femininity, motherhood, identity, and sex/sexuality, are biting, cutting, intense. She dives into commonly held views and definitions of those concepts, who gets to define it, and how it all plays out in ways even more complex for trans women, with an authenticity that is unflinching...exploring the good, the bad, the ugly, the original, the impossible, the hopeful, and the deep fragility within it all, always. Peters is not afraid (like, she goes everywhere) of digging into universality of concepts like the inadequacies/insecurities of womanhood and motherhood, despite the way they may look different outwardly/in practice for each woman. There's also a wonderful (and a bit more hopeful/uplifting) meditation on family being what you make it, highlighting the wonderful ways that living in an unconventional family can widen your support system, your "village," and questioning why, if that's the case, are there so many rules about what family can't/shouldn't be. It's all shocking in the good kind of way, a no holds barred and gloves off interrogation of what we've accepted as conventional, but doesn't have to be so freaking limiting (and how that expansion of opportunity would benefit us all).

I really want to mention the way it ends too, because holy mother freaking goodness that ending is literally literary perfection. A perfect culmination and final sentence. I’ve never been left with a better reflective ending that is exactly the right type of completely unsatisfactory and so absolutely real because of it.

I may have already said it, a lot, but this is absolutely one of the smartest books I’ve ever read. Just a phenomenal literary representation of trans feminine culture, the likes of which I’ve never read before (possibly because it hasn’t been allowed to exist like this before), and that deserves to be celebrated on so many levels, in so many places. And everyone (yes, that means you) should read this novel as soon as freaking possible.

“Shortly, very shortly, he was going to be called upon to make some decision, which would lead to other decisions, generations of decisions generated by this decision.” (I mean really, what a line!)

“Wasn’t that the lesson of transition, of detransition? That you'll never know all the angles, that delay is a form of hiding from reality. That you just figure out what you want to do and do it? And maybe, if you don't know what you want, you just do something anyway, and everything will change, and then maybe that will reveal what you really want. So do something.”

“The past is past to everyone but ghosts.”

“She knew that no matter how you self-identify ultimately, chances are that you succumb to becoming what the world treats you as.”

“Trans women are juvenile elephants. We are much stronger and more powerful than we understand. We are fifteen thousand pounds of muscle and bone forged from rage and trauma, armed with ivory spears and faces unique in nature, living in grasslands where any of the ubiquitous humans may or may not be a poacher. With our strength, we can destroy each other with ease. But we are a lost generation. We have no elders, no stable groups, no one to teach us to countenance pain. No matriarchs to tell the young girls to knock it off or show off their own long lives lived happily and well. Those older geerations of trans women died of HIV, poverty, suicide, repression, or disappeared to pathologized medicalized and stealth lives - and that's if they were lucky enough to be white. They left behind only scattered exhausted voices to tell the angry lost young when and how the pain might end - to tell us what will be lost when we lash out with our considerable strength, or use the fragile shards of what remain of our social networks to ostracize, punish, and retaliate against those who behave in a traumatized manner.”

“…quirks of dysphoria did not follow a Freudian pattern - no, they sequenced themselves according to an alchemist's mixture of beauty standards, consumerism, and liberal doses of self-loathing.”

“Just because she saw that the vagaries of capitalism, patriarchy, gender norms, or consumerism contributed to facial dysphoria didn't mean she had developed immunity to them. In fact, a political consciousness honed on queer sensitivity simply made her feel guilty about not having managed to change her feeply ingrained beauty norms. Call her a fraud, a hypocrite, superficial, but politics and practice parted paths at her own body. [...] As long as she tortured herself with a traitorously retrograde sense of what made a woman beautiful in her heart of hearts, she would assuage herself with cis-passability in her face of faces." (genius level smarts and biting insight in this writing)

“It was selfish, she knew, but when is the impulse to create a little person in your image not selfish? Most of the people she knew with kids didn't conceive for the kid, they conceived for themselves, to accord with some notion of family, or purpose, or life stages that the child would bring them. Insert whatever worn-down cliche about life not having meaning until one becomes a parent.”

“Would that all difficult women be loved so deeply.”

“A nimble mind can always uncover the politics to justify its own selfishness.”

Content Warnings

avadore's review

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emotional funny reflective tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

A queer romp with plenty of big questions and no interest in giving us answers.

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lizzie_r's review

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challenging funny reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

Let us hope Detransition, Baby is remembered as more than the first novel by a trans woman to be nominated for the formerly-titled Women Prize for Fiction.
Peters wields language, experience & fiction to a point that undoubtedly reminded me of the power of literature: seeing others more fully than one could in their own perspective.

Content Warnings

fronkiekong's review against another edition

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challenging funny reflective tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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kylieqrada's review

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emotional funny informative lighthearted sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Very good. I learned a ton about trans identities. We love an unlikable female character. Lots of sex terms I didn't know the meaning of and had to Google. I can't write book reviews when I'm depressed. 😂

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laudateluna's review

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challenging funny reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Detransition Baby is a novel that equally feels made for me and not for me. It's a fantastic one, if you have any interest in exploration of gender or more specifically of femininity/womanhood; read it! It deserves to be thought about.

Please do not read the spoiler section until you have come to an understanding of what the book was talking about. In specific how it ended. This is not a "spoiler" of its content, its a mindset that could change how you experience the novel.

It was an enlightening journey that died for me with its concept. I was expecting the book to be more than it set out for, to go beyond what it was in text, however for me it was made impossible by its ending. Its not a "bad" ending, its just direct in telling you what it was about. That might work for you. For me it stopped my process of exploration of what it means to me. Because finding what I identified with was made so much harder by its purpous. I dont like when stories are literal. There is a genuine debate to be had of metaphorical effectiveness towards most people, but like I said before not for me. Maybe it is necessary and my experience is too novel.

This book is perfect. I truly mean that. It's pacing is great so are its characters, dialogue, jokes, ideas, prose. I loved every page. Torrey Peters wrote one of the most compelling debut novels I have ever had the priviledge to read. (I also highly reccomend her novellas)

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leah_alexandra's review

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challenging funny reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This was pretty phenomenal. I thought it was complex and engrossing--a really interesting read. There were a bits that felt just a little clunky: some awkward dialogue, some parts were a little didactic, etc. But I think that all is as expected for a first novel. I look forward to reading more of Peters's work!

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taleofabibliophile's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.75

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lenin_lover_69's review

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emotional funny reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I hope this is the future of funny, beautifully written 'chick-lit' - nuanced, complicated characters who aren't stereotypes, who let you down, make you laugh and draw you into their lives. It deserves every accolade that comes its way and it should win the Women's Prize if not just to boil the piss of every TERF in the UK.

Content Warnings

bookscoffeehayley's review

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challenging dark emotional funny informative reflective tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

It’s hard to describe my thoughts on Torrey Peters’, Detransition, Baby. I did like this book. I did not like this book as an audiobook. Peters writes a chaotic, messy, heartfelt novel about identity, motherhood, fatherhood, womanhood, and what it means to be a parent. It’s messy, but it’s real. It works.

This is a heavily character-driven book. The flaws, trauma, and personalities of the three main characters, Ames, Reese, and Katrina, are at the forefront of this novel in an unapologetic manner.

The trans representation in this book is realistic. So often in books where there are trans characters, they are represented as ‘Disney-fied’ versions of humans. Reese, specifically, opens a window into the life of a trans woman whose life isn’t always a perfect ending story. Reese is a character whom I was rooting for, getting angry with, sympathizing with, throughout the entire novel. One of my favorite characters I’ve read about this year.

Something that made this audiobook feel clunky to me was the shifting of time periods in the middle of chapters. These chapters are quite long and throughout them, there would be shifts in time periods and shifts of point of view. There were also sections of long tangents that felt to distract from the main message or plot of the chapter. Maybe because I read this book via an audiobook it was often confusing? I think the plot may have been relayed more cohesively with broken-up chapters. I also think a reread of this book in a physical format would help my reading experience a ton!

I definitely recommend reading this book for members of the LGTBQ+ community and allies. It’s unlike any other book I’ve read with queer representation. I’m excited to read more from Torrey Peters in the future!

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