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mia_difelice's review against another edition
4.0
Refuge is a book to find refuge in. It tells the story of a fractured Iranian family, the Hamidis, and centers on the father and daughter, Bahman and Niloo. As a child, Niloo left Iran with her mother and brother while Bahman stayed behind. Now, decades later in 2009, Niloo lives in Amsterdam with her European husband and Bahman is trying to end his third marriage. Bahman struggles with his opium addiction, with leaving Iran to join the rest of his family -- Meanwhile Niloo struggles with her marriage and her relationship with her father, fraught with embarrassing memories and her own quiet trauma as a once-refugee. The book moves back-and-forth between present day and the four visits Bahman and Niloo have shared since her departure, as Niloo reconnects with her Iranian roots in a refugee squat and her father becomes an increasingly unavoidable part of her life.
It's characters are occasionally opaque -- Fatimeh and Sanaz, Bahman's second and third wives, fade in and out of the narrative without much sticking power. Karim and Siavash are on similarly uneven ground (). Pari's own story feels weak compared to how much emphasis she receives at the end of the novel. Bahman's side of things is slow-going at first, and his appearances in the past are much more engaging than the ones in the present. By the end of the story you're left wondering --
Yet despite this, Refuge tugs at all the right heart strings through its depiction of Niloo's inadvertent quest for identity and belonging, through Bahman's earnest displays of affection and bumbling attempts to connect with his family. The two are infused with such humanness, intensified by graceful language that seems to flow in and out of their thoughts, their emotions, their idiosyncrasies with ease. You are immersed in their worlds, invited to laugh at Bahman's English approximations of Farsi sayings and Niloo and Guillame's inside jokes, invited to find comfort in traditions and a family that are not your own. In a time when the refugee narrative is dark and perilous, it is a relief to read of a family that, while imperfect, manages to scrape out its own refuge.
It's characters are occasionally opaque -- Fatimeh and Sanaz, Bahman's second and third wives, fade in and out of the narrative without much sticking power. Karim and Siavash are on similarly uneven ground (
Spoiler
Bahman's ruminations about Siavash at the end of the novel feel superfluous and puzzling given that the focus shifts so quickly and so completelySpoiler
will Niloo get back together with Guillame? Will Bahman stay in Amsterdam or will he be left to a fate like Mam'mad as Niloo fears? Does Niloo come to accept Bahman in the way that she was afraid to throughout the novel? And when these conflicts felt integral to the narrative, in the end Nayeri abandons them in favor of some sentiments about the importance of reconnecting with family.Yet despite this, Refuge tugs at all the right heart strings through its depiction of Niloo's inadvertent quest for identity and belonging, through Bahman's earnest displays of affection and bumbling attempts to connect with his family. The two are infused with such humanness, intensified by graceful language that seems to flow in and out of their thoughts, their emotions, their idiosyncrasies with ease. You are immersed in their worlds, invited to laugh at Bahman's English approximations of Farsi sayings and Niloo and Guillame's inside jokes, invited to find comfort in traditions and a family that are not your own. In a time when the refugee narrative is dark and perilous, it is a relief to read of a family that, while imperfect, manages to scrape out its own refuge.
bookphia's review
4.0
I liked this book and thought the characters were well drawn. I didn't fully get why there were multiple timelines (the flashbacks I understood, though) or why some sections were in first person-- seemed unnecessarily complicated.
rdhk's review against another edition
3.0
I really wanted to like the book. I generally love this author's writing style, and thoroughly enjoyed her previous work, A Teaspoon of Earth and Sea. This one, however, was mostly a miss for me; the three stars are more for Nayeri's lyrical prose than for the plot or character development.
THE BAD:
Refuge reads plainly as a work written by a White Person about the Other (in this case, formerly unprivileged Muslims). The book is full of basic tropes and Iranian stereotypes (the phrase "Iranian grandmother" was so overused it seemed almost ironic at one point). The attempt, if any, to demonstrate how *complex* it is for a human to be shoved into a completely alien environment where she is constantly under fear of scrutiny and exposure, was superficial at best. This is surprising, given the author's obvious talent and, more importantly, the fact that Niloo's life has so much in common with her own.
For me, the other (related) problem was how deeply unlikable the main characters were.
Spoiler alert:
I had some sympathy for Bahman (though it took me a while to understand that the only reason he didn't leave Iran to join his family abroad was because he was an addict), but his wives Fatimeh and Sanaz seemed like afterthoughts. The latter was especially intriguing as a side character, and I wish Nayeri had included her in more detail. I also started actively despising him when he hit her - for most of the book, we had been led to believe that he was an easy-going hedonist, not an aggressive pig. It didn't fit, and seemed like it was done purely for shock value.
Coming to Niloo - she was a despicable character. At some basic level - and being from a "Third World" country myself - I did understand her motivations at first, but she just spiraled too much and became a complete caricature of a mixed-religion refugee. Her interactions with the Iranian refugees in Amsterdam reeked so strongly of white saviour complex that I had to physically escape the book after reading those chapters. It left a bad taste in my mouth. I liked much of the romance with Gui, but again thought the bathtub scene where she leaves him (temporarily?) came out of nowhere and there was barely any buildup. Niloo also struck me as too selfish and self-righteous to sympathise with, and I really wanted to be rid of her by the end.
THE GOOD:
Gui's character was, I thought, the only well-developed character in the book, and I liked how Nayeri showed that his obvious privilege and failure to understand his (annoying) wife didn't mean he loved her any less. He always tried to do the right thing, but also had moments of irritation and desperation, which made him both human and likable.
Also enjoyed the snippets of poetry interwoven in the prose - it was magical.
Lastly, as I said before, Nayeri is a gifted writer, and I will definitely be buying her next book. I just hope she pays a little more attention to layering her characters. Much of the rawness and sweetness that characterised ATOEAS is missing here, but I'm hopeful to find it in her next venture :)
THE BAD:
Refuge reads plainly as a work written by a White Person about the Other (in this case, formerly unprivileged Muslims). The book is full of basic tropes and Iranian stereotypes (the phrase "Iranian grandmother" was so overused it seemed almost ironic at one point). The attempt, if any, to demonstrate how *complex* it is for a human to be shoved into a completely alien environment where she is constantly under fear of scrutiny and exposure, was superficial at best. This is surprising, given the author's obvious talent and, more importantly, the fact that Niloo's life has so much in common with her own.
For me, the other (related) problem was how deeply unlikable the main characters were.
Spoiler alert:
I had some sympathy for Bahman (though it took me a while to understand that the only reason he didn't leave Iran to join his family abroad was because he was an addict), but his wives Fatimeh and Sanaz seemed like afterthoughts. The latter was especially intriguing as a side character, and I wish Nayeri had included her in more detail. I also started actively despising him when he hit her - for most of the book, we had been led to believe that he was an easy-going hedonist, not an aggressive pig. It didn't fit, and seemed like it was done purely for shock value.
Coming to Niloo - she was a despicable character. At some basic level - and being from a "Third World" country myself - I did understand her motivations at first, but she just spiraled too much and became a complete caricature of a mixed-religion refugee. Her interactions with the Iranian refugees in Amsterdam reeked so strongly of white saviour complex that I had to physically escape the book after reading those chapters. It left a bad taste in my mouth. I liked much of the romance with Gui, but again thought the bathtub scene where she leaves him (temporarily?) came out of nowhere and there was barely any buildup. Niloo also struck me as too selfish and self-righteous to sympathise with, and I really wanted to be rid of her by the end.
THE GOOD:
Gui's character was, I thought, the only well-developed character in the book, and I liked how Nayeri showed that his obvious privilege and failure to understand his (annoying) wife didn't mean he loved her any less. He always tried to do the right thing, but also had moments of irritation and desperation, which made him both human and likable.
Also enjoyed the snippets of poetry interwoven in the prose - it was magical.
Lastly, as I said before, Nayeri is a gifted writer, and I will definitely be buying her next book. I just hope she pays a little more attention to layering her characters. Much of the rawness and sweetness that characterised ATOEAS is missing here, but I'm hopeful to find it in her next venture :)
readtotheend's review against another edition
4.0
I enjoyed this book that portrayed a family broken up by a move to leave Iran. The mother and children went to the States and the father stayed back in Iran. The book shows the evolving relationship between father and daughter through 30 years of separation with only a handful of visits through that time. I thought it really gave a great perspective on that and how to maintain a relationship through time and distance. It was also a fresh perspective that part of the story is set in the Netherlands and not the U.S. I enjoyed seeing how other countries also treat refugees and immigrants. I do think that sometimes the stories felt a bit disjointed and I didn't love how it kind of neatly ties up at the end. It's not all happy endings and roses but I would have preferred it to be a little more messy and unresolved. The food descriptions definitely made me crave Persian food strongly!!!!
justonechapter's review against another edition
4.0
This book was beautifully written, so rich in vocabulary and content. I loved following this tale of Bahman, an Iranian father, who has lost his family at only 33, for the hopes of them having a better life outside of Iran. Niloo, his daughter who left very young to fulfill this dream of a better life in America, broke my heart. No matter where you go, is home really a place or a person? Will Niloo forever be the 8 year old who left her father behind or will she be able to grow out of this child? This story answers these questions and many more.
I love stories about the Middle East, refugees and the true meaning of home. I loved learning more about Iran and what it means to be part of this culture. I loved seeing how the feeling of being a refugee sometimes does not leave its victims, but stays with them all of their lives. And I loved learning more about what it takes to really find oneself, after a journey where you lose all that you ever know.
"They were three and three was enough. They were a village." This last sentence of the book is everything. This simple phrase holds so much meaning. I loved that this book was packed with quotes by Rumi and Hafez, stitching so many hidden meanings within the chapters.
I really loved this book and I enjoyed reading every single chapter.
I love stories about the Middle East, refugees and the true meaning of home. I loved learning more about Iran and what it means to be part of this culture. I loved seeing how the feeling of being a refugee sometimes does not leave its victims, but stays with them all of their lives. And I loved learning more about what it takes to really find oneself, after a journey where you lose all that you ever know.
"They were three and three was enough. They were a village." This last sentence of the book is everything. This simple phrase holds so much meaning. I loved that this book was packed with quotes by Rumi and Hafez, stitching so many hidden meanings within the chapters.
I really loved this book and I enjoyed reading every single chapter.
khuppe's review against another edition
challenging
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
renwolf's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
athenamangoes's review against another edition
4.0
One of my reading goals for 2019 is to reread the entirety of my top ten books from 2017. I've got a tin on my desk with those ten titles written down, and once a month I'll randomly pick a book to reread, reminisce, and reevaluate.
This was my pick for February, and though I had read this book in about a week back in 2017, this time around it took over a month. Refuge was a sucker punch of a book that resonated with me on multiple levels (disconnection with a parent, a constant search for community, and continuous self-sabotage). The second time around, it took longer for each layer of the novel to settle with me, but it left a much stronger impression.
What changed for me this time around was my impression of Niloo, the main character. She is complex and at times hard to like. She's cruel to those who love her and hardened by her own traumas. Her identity is tangled and confusing, something she acknowledges, but her attempts to untangle the mess complicates things further. Niloo's narrative, companioned by that of her father who's still trapped in Iran, is striking.
There was a point while I was rereading where I couldn't remember what had earned Refuge a place on my Top Ten of 2017 in the first place. The problem was me, reading one chapter at a time over the span of a month didn't do the story justice. By the end of the book, a little sad but overall hopeful for the character's futures, I realized it was better the second time around. This is the kind of book I could reread every other year, and recommend wholeheartedly.
This was my pick for February, and though I had read this book in about a week back in 2017, this time around it took over a month. Refuge was a sucker punch of a book that resonated with me on multiple levels (disconnection with a parent, a constant search for community, and continuous self-sabotage). The second time around, it took longer for each layer of the novel to settle with me, but it left a much stronger impression.
What changed for me this time around was my impression of Niloo, the main character. She is complex and at times hard to like. She's cruel to those who love her and hardened by her own traumas. Her identity is tangled and confusing, something she acknowledges, but her attempts to untangle the mess complicates things further. Niloo's narrative, companioned by that of her father who's still trapped in Iran, is striking.
There was a point while I was rereading where I couldn't remember what had earned Refuge a place on my Top Ten of 2017 in the first place. The problem was me, reading one chapter at a time over the span of a month didn't do the story justice. By the end of the book, a little sad but overall hopeful for the character's futures, I realized it was better the second time around. This is the kind of book I could reread every other year, and recommend wholeheartedly.
rdubbaneh's review against another edition
4.0
An opium-addicted, wealthy, Iranian dentist says goodbye to his wife and 2 kids as they leave Iran to seek asylum. He promises to follow, but his opium, money, dental practice, and 2 subsequent wives keep him tied to Iran. His daughter Niloo grows up as an American Ivy League student, marries a French man and ends up a European elitist. She only sees her father 4 times throughout her lifetime, each time shaken by a different decaying version of her addict father - a man she is so similar to but hardly knows. As the political climate in Iran begins to shatter, so too do both she and her father walk through their own shattering awakenings.
Such an eye-opening story of what it means to be a refugee, to never know where home is, to live and age apart from family. It’s ultimately a story of the powerful bonds of family and community and how they can restore and heal over decades. Didn’t think I was going to like the ending but it was so sweet and satisfying.
The author is an Iranian refugee herself and a graduate of Harvard, Princeton, and the Iowa Writer’s Workshop - the last of which immediately made me trust her as a writer. And it was a trust that did not disappoint.
Such an eye-opening story of what it means to be a refugee, to never know where home is, to live and age apart from family. It’s ultimately a story of the powerful bonds of family and community and how they can restore and heal over decades. Didn’t think I was going to like the ending but it was so sweet and satisfying.
The author is an Iranian refugee herself and a graduate of Harvard, Princeton, and the Iowa Writer’s Workshop - the last of which immediately made me trust her as a writer. And it was a trust that did not disappoint.