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onamoonbeam's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
tense
medium-paced
5.0
oh! so that's why this author's famous! moment. read a few excerpts of this for a creative writing class and loved them months ago, finally got around to reading the whole thing. the mastery machado has over language is. absurd. somehow lots of colloquial language to illustrate swathes of emotion and history that will be rattling around in my mind for who knows how long. she also likes the word eponymous, which i will now actually remember the definition of.
notable bits
notable bits
- as a trope lover, the fact the memoir is formatted like this at all is already fantastic, not to mention. literally everything else
- the three deja vu chapters are marked in my book, and i flipped between them, reading their corresponding sentences in order in awe of oh. everything in this book is put together with intention, and this is just a small piece of it.
- the choose your own adventure part with the
(multiple!!) pages that say smth like 'you should not be on this page, there was no way to get to it with the choices provided. you wanted to get out/you can't get out, this already happened/were you looking for a way out' ARE SO GOOD i love when authors use their mediums to the fullest because in what other format could that exist? it reminded me of some pieces of interactive fiction, where choice being given and then taken away, or pointing out the illusion of choice, is more impactful than starting out with no choice to begin with. -
the use of footnotes in reference to folklore and foreshadowing is *chef's kiss* both opposite and adjacent to the princess bride to me. some of them, esp the one of 'mother killing her child' i gasped at -
pointing out that the language we use to describe abuse is so trite that horrible experiences seem banal, then pointing out a specific experience -
magical realism almost? of her experiences after the breakup, shrinking and drowning in tears and finding solace in animals -
"We deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity" AAAGH -
explicit separation of "you" and "i" in one chapter that continues for the rest of the book, works to 1. separate her experiences at the time of the relationship and at other points in her life 2. a marker of her growth 3. everything becomes deeply personal to the reader. you are running/dreaming/hiding. do you understand, now? -
"Part of the problem was, as a weird fat girl, you felt lucky." the elementary school me is pounding the floor of my heart, ie. when I read that I gripped the book a little tighter - HOUSE AND SPACE METAPHORS
something about this is peak english major to me, and i mean that as a compliment. guess i gotta go read her body and other parties now
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, and Grief
Minor: Infidelity, Sexual violence, and Suicidal thoughts
kc_gilbert's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, and Domestic abuse
fayemomodu's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Absolutely love this book. As someone who attending college at the University of Iowa I loved reading this as it takes place in Iowa City at the college. The book almost reads as poetry and is very beautiful written.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Hate crime, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Animal cruelty, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Addiction, Alcoholism, and Body shaming
lpogo16's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Machado had a lot of courage in talking about her story and a lot of heart in telling the story of other queer women. This book really opened my eyes to a topic I never thought to look at head on.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity, Mental illness, Bullying, Sexual content, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Rape, Sexual harassment, Alcohol, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Fatphobia, Homophobia, Murder, Violence, Child abuse, Body shaming, Drug abuse, and Drug use
Minor: Vomit, Dementia, Blood, Cursing, and Confinement
alloftaysreads's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Domestic abuse, Cursing, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Sexual violence, Religious bigotry, Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, Homophobia, Emotional abuse, and Sexual assault
Minor: Adult/minor relationship
klsreads's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
In the Dream House is a masterpiece. Told in vignettes structured around literature tropes, this memoir follows the rise and fall of a profoundly abusive relationship. Machado is brave, vulnerable, and unflinchingly honest as she exposes the abuse she suffered across a 2 year relationship with another woman. She asks: if we view queer relationships as utopia divorced from patriarchy and hierarchy, are we being homophobic? Are lesbians not humans - complex, hurting, and capable of inflicting extreme harm? If we flatten a group of people into a monolith, we dehumanize them. This book is a necessary addition to the growing work on the incidence of abuse in queer relationships.
I've never read anything quite like this - I loved the vignette narrative structure. The book moved quickly because most sections were short. A couple of the tropes dragged on for me/didn't hit 100%, but I was enthralled and could hardly put it down. A few standouts for me - "Dream House as Deja Vu" (x3), "Dream House as Queer Villainy" (!!!), "Dream House as Bluebeard", "Dream House as the River Lethe", "Dream House as Choose Your Own Adventure" ...... ok, I have to stop or I'm going to quote half of this work.
Even more wild: I was in Iowa City as an undergrad during the events of this book. Did I see Carmen and the Woman from the Dream House at a coffee shop, at Obama's speech, in a bookstore? It makes me shiver, the ways people suffer out of view.
Brilliant. Carmen Maria Machado is an absolute force and a genius of prose and innovative structure. I HIGHLY recommend this book, but mind the CW's. Machado doesn't shy away from the gore at the heart of her story.
I've never read anything quite like this - I loved the vignette narrative structure. The book moved quickly because most sections were short. A couple of the tropes dragged on for me/didn't hit 100%, but I was enthralled and could hardly put it down. A few standouts for me - "Dream House as Deja Vu" (x3), "Dream House as Queer Villainy" (!!!), "Dream House as Bluebeard", "Dream House as the River Lethe", "Dream House as Choose Your Own Adventure" ...... ok, I have to stop or I'm going to quote half of this work.
Even more wild: I was in Iowa City as an undergrad during the events of this book. Did I see Carmen and the Woman from the Dream House at a coffee shop, at Obama's speech, in a bookstore? It makes me shiver, the ways people suffer out of view.
Brilliant. Carmen Maria Machado is an absolute force and a genius of prose and innovative structure. I HIGHLY recommend this book, but mind the CW's. Machado doesn't shy away from the gore at the heart of her story.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Drug use, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Grief, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Lesbophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Vomit, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual violence, Blood, Violence, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Abandonment, Alcohol, Bullying, Confinement, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Rape, and Sexual content
Moderate: Biphobia, Car accident, Adult/minor relationship, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Animal death, Cancer, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and Gun violence
ellornaslibrary's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship, Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, Grief, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Gaslighting, Alcoholism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Injury/Injury detail and Infidelity
Minor: Death and Fire/Fire injury
racheltrow_'s review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse and Violence
Moderate: Lesbophobia, Sexual violence, and Homophobia
cspa's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
I haven't consumed many memoirs, but I believe I won't come across another quite like this. Carmen Maria Machado turned her sorrow into a tour de force.
I was fortunate to have a father who educated me on the indications of toxic and abusive behaviors when I was young. He had experience working with recovering abusive individuals during his time as a counselor. While it was not a pleasant task, it shed light on the signs and strategies of abusers very vividly. Consequently, when he had a daughter, he made sure she not only recognized the signs but understood them so well that a literal red flag would appear in the form of a visceral nagging in her gut. In spite of that fact, I must confess being raised as a seemingly heterosexual girl who didn’t outwardly debut her queerness until her early 20s, I wasn't initially attuned to identifying these signs in women, as they were more obvious and immediately noticeable in cisgender men. This hindsight is a theme that Machando explores throughout the book.
While the preparation couldn't fully protect me from experiencing the blunt of toxic situations as a whole, it certainly better equipped me and for that I am grateful. Having that advantage, it was evident that not everyone was as fortunate. I shared my thoughts and evaluations with my friends when they would come to me but the realization is something one must come to by theirselves, all you can do is be there for them and let them know your priority is their happiness and safety, that they are not alone, that they deserve better.
“In the Dream House,” provides a beautifully devastating insight into the emotional and phycological break down of ones worth when hurt by the person who claims to love you. Moreover, it investigates the broader societal implications of abuse within the queer community, highlighting the disparity in significance between verbal/emotional/psychological abuse in comparison to physical, and the systems invented to further isolate, eliminate, and diminish the experiences of the victims. Machado uses references from media, legal proceedings, folklore, and fiction to illuminate the complexities of domestic abuse and its many loopholes that perpetuate archival silence and enable abusers, especially in more marginalized communities.
*Spoilers*
There were numerous warning signs that turned - rot and keeled over - into the mind-numbing repetitive convention of Carmen’s reality: the Dream House Girl normalizing her behavior by telling Carmen, “this is what it’s like to date a woman,” yelling and belittling Carmen at the slightest opportunity. The rage, the excessive calls and texts, the insistence on her time, the separation from friends and support, the danger of abandoning Carmen in unknown places, the elaborate and impractical scenarios and expectations set by Dream House Girl only to shift blame to Carmen when things don’t go smoothly (because, how could they?), the unfounded jealous implications, the bruised wrists, the chasing, the throwing of objects, the convenient memory lapses the following day ... or hour, the grand commitments, the unfulfilled promises, and the hypocritical deceit...
Ultimately, Carmen's freedom stems from Dream House Girl’s inability to break her own cycle of mistreating her partners, cheating, and repeating the same behavior with the person she cheated with. While Carmen experiences a sense of liberation from (final) the break up, she also grapples with the dissonance and numbness that follows, along with the subsequent realizations, losses, and repercussions to her psyche.
Fortunately, Machado has some incredible friends, and it was truly heartwarming to witness the final chapters brimming with her support system. Emphasizing just how important these figures are, especially when you’ve lost all sense of being, of hope. (Dream House as Mr. Dalloway)
The entire book presented thought-provoking passages and insightful ideas, but here are a few sections that stood out for me:
Dream House as Noir
Dream House as Queer Villainy
Dream House as Bluebeard
Dream House as American Gothic
Dream House as Fantasy
Dream House as Epiphany
Dream House as Ambiguity
Dream House as Equivocation
Dream House as Public Relations
Dream House as Cliche
Now, the writing techniques and choices that blew me away:
Machado's "Choose Your Own Adventure" segment was incredibly impactful and ingenious. I admired how it immersed the reader in the complexities of the inflicted dynamics, the patterns of abuse, the limited choices all leading to the same result, the urge to explore alternative paths only to face harsh realities, making it feel, truely, inescapable. The beauty in the section about envisioning the future left me yearning for that possibility for her.
Machado also tactfully utilizes point of view to engage readers, and more importantly, express the duality of the person she was before and after against the person she was during her abuse. Using “I” and “you,” to reflect the moments she felt like herself and the moment’s she felt dissociated and detached. This technique allows her to reflect on painful experiences safely while evoking empathy from readers, reminding them that similar situations could affect anyone, even themselves. Additionally, it symbolizes her wounded inner dialogue, heavily influenced by the Dream House Girl, which became ingrained in her mind as truth.
An examples of this:
After picking up and accidentally dropping a snail, she thinks, “I was horrified at the monstrosity of my mistake – the pure, unbridled thoughtlessness of it. I’d come all the way to this island to write a book about suffering, and you did something terrible to a resident of the island who’s done no harm” pg. 92
Then, in the final pages of the book, a more gentle and healing aspect of this separation is revealed:
“I wished everything had this much clarity. I wished I had always lived in this body, and you could have lived here with me, and I could have told you it’s all right, it’s going to be all right.” ... “My tale goes only to here; it ends, and the wind carries it to you” pg 242
The concluding quote captivatingly and eloquently demonstrates the three attributes of this change in viewpoint. The "I" symbolizes her healing self, the one she wishes to reveal and extend to "you.” “You” who represents her past self in pain, as well as others who have faced similar challenges and require reassurance that they are not alone and that things can improve; there is hope on the other side. "You" deserve better, and let "I" symbolize that truth.
A masterful memoir, please read it!
I was fortunate to have a father who educated me on the indications of toxic and abusive behaviors when I was young. He had experience working with recovering abusive individuals during his time as a counselor. While it was not a pleasant task, it shed light on the signs and strategies of abusers very vividly. Consequently, when he had a daughter, he made sure she not only recognized the signs but understood them so well that a literal red flag would appear in the form of a visceral nagging in her gut. In spite of that fact, I must confess being raised as a seemingly heterosexual girl who didn’t outwardly debut her queerness until her early 20s, I wasn't initially attuned to identifying these signs in women, as they were more obvious and immediately noticeable in cisgender men. This hindsight is a theme that Machando explores throughout the book.
While the preparation couldn't fully protect me from experiencing the blunt of toxic situations as a whole, it certainly better equipped me and for that I am grateful. Having that advantage, it was evident that not everyone was as fortunate. I shared my thoughts and evaluations with my friends when they would come to me but the realization is something one must come to by theirselves, all you can do is be there for them and let them know your priority is their happiness and safety, that they are not alone, that they deserve better.
“In the Dream House,” provides a beautifully devastating insight into the emotional and phycological break down of ones worth when hurt by the person who claims to love you. Moreover, it investigates the broader societal implications of abuse within the queer community, highlighting the disparity in significance between verbal/emotional/psychological abuse in comparison to physical, and the systems invented to further isolate, eliminate, and diminish the experiences of the victims. Machado uses references from media, legal proceedings, folklore, and fiction to illuminate the complexities of domestic abuse and its many loopholes that perpetuate archival silence and enable abusers, especially in more marginalized communities.
*Spoilers*
Ultimately, Carmen's freedom stems from Dream House Girl’s inability to break her own cycle of mistreating her partners, cheating, and repeating the same behavior with the person she cheated with. While Carmen experiences a sense of liberation from (final) the break up, she also grapples with the dissonance and numbness that follows, along with the subsequent realizations, losses, and repercussions to her psyche.
Fortunately, Machado has some incredible friends, and it was truly heartwarming to witness the final chapters brimming with her support system. Emphasizing just how important these figures are, especially when you’ve lost all sense of being, of hope. (Dream House as Mr. Dalloway)
The entire book presented thought-provoking passages and insightful ideas, but here are a few sections that stood out for me:
Dream House as Noir
Dream House as Queer Villainy
Dream House as Bluebeard
Dream House as American Gothic
Dream House as Fantasy
Dream House as Epiphany
Dream House as Ambiguity
Dream House as Equivocation
Dream House as Public Relations
Dream House as Cliche
Now, the writing techniques and choices that blew me away:
Machado's "Choose Your Own Adventure" segment was incredibly impactful and ingenious. I admired how it immersed the reader in the complexities of the inflicted dynamics, the patterns of abuse, the limited choices all leading to the same result, the urge to explore alternative paths only to face harsh realities, making it feel, truely, inescapable. The beauty in the section about envisioning the future left me yearning for that possibility for her.
Machado also tactfully utilizes point of view to engage readers, and more importantly, express the duality of the person she was before and after against the person she was during her abuse. Using “I” and “you,” to reflect the moments she felt like herself and the moment’s she felt dissociated and detached. This technique allows her to reflect on painful experiences safely while evoking empathy from readers, reminding them that similar situations could affect anyone, even themselves. Additionally, it symbolizes her wounded inner dialogue, heavily influenced by the Dream House Girl, which became ingrained in her mind as truth.
An examples of this:
After picking up and accidentally dropping a snail, she thinks, “I was horrified at the monstrosity of my mistake – the pure, unbridled thoughtlessness of it. I’d come all the way to this island to write a book about suffering, and you did something terrible to a resident of the island who’s done no harm” pg. 92
Then, in the final pages of the book, a more gentle and healing aspect of this separation is revealed:
“I wished everything had this much clarity. I wished I had always lived in this body, and you could have lived here with me, and I could have told you it’s all right, it’s going to be all right.” ... “My tale goes only to here; it ends, and the wind carries it to you” pg 242
The concluding quote captivatingly and eloquently demonstrates the three attributes of this change in viewpoint. The "I" symbolizes her healing self, the one she wishes to reveal and extend to "you.” “You” who represents her past self in pain, as well as others who have faced similar challenges and require reassurance that they are not alone and that things can improve; there is hope on the other side. "You" deserve better, and let "I" symbolize that truth.
A masterful memoir, please read it!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Homophobia, Sexual content, Body shaming, and Sexual violence
_fictionalreality's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Mental illness, Bullying, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Panic attacks/disorders, and Toxic relationship