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360 reviews for:
No Visible Bruises: What We Don't Know about Domestic Violence Can Kill Us
Rachel Louise Snyder
4.52 AVERAGE
360 reviews for:
No Visible Bruises: What We Don't Know about Domestic Violence Can Kill Us
Rachel Louise Snyder
4.52 AVERAGE
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Everyone should read this book. The best dive into domestic violence I’ve ever seen. And not voyeuristic, which I was concerned about. She also spends extensive time with abusers themselves which I found to be incredibly valuable. A tough, great read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Violence, Murder
Minor: Drug abuse
dark
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
This is an important book. It is terrifying. It makes me terrified.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual violence, Suicide, Violence, Kidnapping, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent, Murder, Injury/Injury detail
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Wrenching but hugely important read. I learned a ton. At times had to stop reading because of how upsetting the content was, but would reread and recommend to anyone.
challenging
emotional
informative
medium-paced
Would highly recommend as one of those books everyone should read. The writing is captivating and engaging while discussing horrifying statistics and personal stories of domestic violence. It did not leave me feeling all doom and gloom, but instead inspires us to do more.
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
informative
An absolute must-read for everyone, whether you come into close contact with intimate partner terrorism or not. Hugely insightful and eye-opening.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
i would like to begin my review by acknowledging that I have been twice charged with perpetrating domestic assault, in the first case with the alleged victim being my father and the second case the alleged victim being my younger brother. at least part of my reason for wanting to read this book had to do with what has been a continued attempt from me at intellectualizing my behavior. and part of that process, that i believe i'm most trying to work through, is rationalizing my harmful behavior through comparison to either other experiences i've been exposed or extreme cases i've read about, such as the case discussed in the beginning of this book. another aspect of my attempt to atone for my behavior is a persistent gendered view of domestic violence. i still have what some might consider a traditional mentality that women should never be hit my a man in any way, and that boys will be boys, but that many individuals could benefit from access to healthy outlets for releasing the anger contained within hisself or herself, whether that be a punching bag or possibly even controlled fighting modalities like mma. i'd love to learn more about these potential methods for diverting anger, as i also continue to practice other coping mechanism, and attempt to reconnect any connections within my family that i have contributed to fracturing. i don't recall this potential avenue of research regarding punching bags or mma being mentioned specifically in this book, though there were multiple methods and even historical developments discussed regarding how domestic violence has been able to be identified and stopped more quickly through more effective intervention. these developments ranged from examples on larger scale initiatives to provide more hospitable housing for a victim and a victim's family to highlighting how the work of a veteran officer, who happened to be female, has been able to assist several families and survivors of domestic violence in getting out of dangerous situations by allowing her personal connection of her sister having been in an abusive relationship to guide her work in guiding others and asking effective questions that some less caring officers may miss. there were some detailed discussions of the gender differences that exist within domestic violence cases, but the primary detail i remember from those discussions is the connection made to school shootings, with the vast majority of the mass shooters being male, and the surveyed research suggesting that a majority of violence in general is perpetrated by males. lastly, the section of this book that stood out to me most centered on a support group for domestic violence perpetrators, facilitated by the author, but led in many respects by an offender who shared some of his experiences and mistakes with the group. when i started reading this section, i found myself comparing my own violent behaviors to the described violent behaviors of the group leader, as well as to that of the other group members. however, when the group began discussing the events in terms of what led up to the violent acts, as well as how certain verbal behavior like name-calling may be abusive in and of itself or minimally escalate disagreements to a point of violence, the importance of group resonated more with me. and by the end of the section, i began to see how a group of people, many of whom are outcast by a large segment of society for past behavior, started to rely on each other and model for one another steps toward conflict resolution and coping skills. this has even encouraged me to consider a similar group for seeking to learn similar skills, as well as attempt to prevent myself from allowing factors like ego or pride to allow me to internalize these events, which i could imagine would increase the likelihood for further conflict or violence.