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jen_librarian's review
2.0
I think the author has a lot of good concepts here, but they aren't fully fleshed out. First, we were focusing on too many characters. I think the idea was to have the focus be on Disrayan and Mack, but there were too many other perspectives and plotlines thrown in. I felt like I was still being introduced to new characters throughout.
The world has a lot of promise, but it needed some work - it took me quite a while to figure out the entire idea behind how Ceres intersected with the human realm. It needs some focus.
I think the characters' motivation wasn't strong enough - I never got to know them enough to really feel any strong emotions toward them. I think if we had stayed mostly with either Disrayan or Mack, I would have felt more about the story's resolution and conclusion.
This read more like a second draft than a final copy. If the author had been able to make some tweaks to the story and focus it more, it could be a fantastic world for many stories to come!
The world has a lot of promise, but it needed some work - it took me quite a while to figure out the entire idea behind how Ceres intersected with the human realm. It needs some focus.
I think the characters' motivation wasn't strong enough - I never got to know them enough to really feel any strong emotions toward them. I think if we had stayed mostly with either Disrayan or Mack, I would have felt more about the story's resolution and conclusion.
This read more like a second draft than a final copy. If the author had been able to make some tweaks to the story and focus it more, it could be a fantastic world for many stories to come!
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