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_hannahbo's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This is the perfect book for anyone in their late 20s who feels like they are stuck. Who needs the reminders that we are doing okay and we can change direction when we need to. Friends and found family are the greatest support systems. Gotta go cry for a week about this story.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism, Gaslighting, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Emotional abuse, Addiction, Panic attacks/disorders, Terminal illness, and Religious bigotry
joensign's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Abandonment, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, and Homophobia
Moderate: Alcoholism and Toxic relationship
Minor: Vomit
jennireadz's review against another edition
5.0
This book is so millennial (in a good way) and really encapsulates this late-20s experience of still not having your life together when (seemingly) everyone else does, and being a bit of a disaster bi.
Taking place at Charlotte's 5 year college reunion, she goes back on campus, a tomb of sorts, for her job. Her boss, a "thought-leader," podcaster, etc etc, was chosen to speak at graduation, which falls over reunion weekend. Charlotte is there to make sure everything goes smoothly and to live-tweet his commencement speech, hoping this'll finally lead to that promotion to the art department. It's still a far cry from the art's passionate about, but she'd be out from under her boss and at least be art-adjacent.
Being back at school means old wounds open, open wounds gape, and trying to just survive this weekend. She's lost touch with her friends, work's gotten too busy, and she needs financial security. She only has herself - she has no one to fall back on. But being back on campus means old ghosts come to haunt again. Worrying so much about seeing her ex-boyfriend, she forgets about her other male ex, Reece. A FWD, for lack of a better word, and a redeeming part of her senior year after an abusive relationship. The 3Ds support group is back together again, after 5 years, and nothing is the same anymore. Who they were in college is just a part of the past, they're scattered all over the country, and Charlotte's lost touch with almost all of them. This weekend is supposed to be about work for her, but it becomes so much more.
This book encapsulates so much of a queer college experience - finding a safe space at a queer-friendly organization, being best friends with your ex-girlfriend, creating a found family, etc etc. It felt like warm hug and reminded me of my days interning for the LGBTQIA+ Center at my old school, and the nostalgia felt like a warm hug. Reading this book during the month of my 5 year graduation anniversary (a coincidence!) hit even harder than expected.
I loved the way this book touched on queerness, college hookup culture, capitalism, abuse (of various kinds), found family, and healing. Charlotte goes through it, but through it all, she has so much love and support from the people she knows, even if she doesn't know how to ask for help.
Thank you NetGalley and Dutton for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
Taking place at Charlotte's 5 year college reunion, she goes back on campus, a tomb of sorts, for her job. Her boss, a "thought-leader," podcaster, etc etc, was chosen to speak at graduation, which falls over reunion weekend. Charlotte is there to make sure everything goes smoothly and to live-tweet his commencement speech, hoping this'll finally lead to that promotion to the art department. It's still a far cry from the art's passionate about, but she'd be out from under her boss and at least be art-adjacent.
Being back at school means old wounds open, open wounds gape, and trying to just survive this weekend. She's lost touch with her friends, work's gotten too busy, and she needs financial security. She only has herself - she has no one to fall back on. But being back on campus means old ghosts come to haunt again. Worrying so much about seeing her ex-boyfriend, she forgets about her other male ex, Reece. A FWD, for lack of a better word, and a redeeming part of her senior year after an abusive relationship. The 3Ds support group is back together again, after 5 years, and nothing is the same anymore. Who they were in college is just a part of the past, they're scattered all over the country, and Charlotte's lost touch with almost all of them. This weekend is supposed to be about work for her, but it becomes so much more.
This book encapsulates so much of a queer college experience - finding a safe space at a queer-friendly organization, being best friends with your ex-girlfriend, creating a found family, etc etc. It felt like warm hug and reminded me of my days interning for the LGBTQIA+ Center at my old school, and the nostalgia felt like a warm hug. Reading this book during the month of my 5 year graduation anniversary (a coincidence!) hit even harder than expected.
I loved the way this book touched on queerness, college hookup culture, capitalism, abuse (of various kinds), found family, and healing. Charlotte goes through it, but through it all, she has so much love and support from the people she knows, even if she doesn't know how to ask for help.
Thank you NetGalley and Dutton for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Vomit, Panic attacks/disorders, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Toxic relationship and Suicidal thoughts
jazzyjbox's review against another edition
challenging
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
I am *ALL* for books that talk about mental health and trauma healing. And this book has an interesting cast of queer characters. However, the pacing was very slow and it was hard to connect with Charlotte. The first third of the book felt disconnected with jumping between past and present. It doesn't really feel like a romance, either.
Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.
Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse
sarahsbookstacks's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
“You care so much about everyone, and you get so pissed off when you see an injustice. But I don’t think you apply that same care to yourself.”
I needed to read this book.
I needed to read this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, and Emotional abuse
kerryamchugh's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Bisexual rep, young adults coming of age and reliving college years at their five-year-reunion, found family. Spot-on depictions of anxiety/panic attacks. Major tw for narcissistic ex/emotional abuse/controlling relationship, and parental abuse specifically for being queer. All handled with grace in a really lovely sorry that grants happy endings in ways that feel believable and not too pat.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Alcohol, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Biphobia and Death of parent
Minor: Alcoholism, Vomit, and Addiction
bookishvicky's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
Rating: 5 Stars ☆
Pub Date: 04 June 2024
“Charlie Thorne, always fine.”
Trying to find the words to write this review is difficult. To once again quote this book, “I needed this, it’s been a shitty few years.”
I so myself so much in Charlotte Thorne it was like looking into a mirror; the way Ella Dawson so perfectly captures the impossible yearning for a return to college days is astounding. The need to return to community, to being wanted, to belonging, was just so strong.
Charlotte’s fawn response and subsequent consequences are written just so realistically, and getting to both see her support system right in front of her when she can’t while at the same time being so in her hear that even we as the reader are blinded to the outside support, barraged by empty questions of “are you okay?” that can only be answered with an “I’m fine,” when the question we need to be asked is the titular But How Are You, Really-- it’s just beautiful writing is what it is.
“Enough of anything before today,” is a quote that will stick with me, and so will Dawson’s beautiful, witty, raw story. Everyone needs a Reece Krueger in their lives, someone who’ll show them the unconditional love they deserve, and this book is a light in the darkness for anyone going through a similar situation.
To end this review in the most honest way I know: this book made me cry. A lot. And that’s how you know it’s a damn good book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Homophobia, and Mental illness
wendahh324's review against another edition
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Thank you to Dutton and NetGalley for the honor of reading this book in exchange for an honest review.
Charlotte hates her job. Instead of being a graphic designer, she's an assistant to a demanding tech journalist you keeps dangling a transfer to the art department over her head. When he is chosen to be the commencement speaker at her alma mater, Charlotte gets roped into going ahead of him and attending her five year reunion. Charlotte made a great group of fellow queer and absent parent having friends in her time at college. She has been terrible at keeping in touch with them because of her demanding and disappointing job. One in particular is Reece, the guy she had a fling with after leaving her abusive ex. Charlotte is forced to re-examine her life and her choices when she's her friends again and decide where she wants to go from here.
This book was such a breath of fresh air. It watered my crops and cleared my acne. It gave me hope when I had none. I'm being a bit dramatic but that is how much I loved this book. I adored seeing a book with so many queer characters. I saw myself in the characters of this book in a way I never have in a book before. Although I thankfully did not have homophobic parents like Charlotte does, I really felt like I understood her.
This book felt very millennial, which I appreciated. The characters' references were my references and the burnout that they experienced is all too common in my generation. I could feel the disappointment in not achieving your dreams yet when everyone around you seems to be doing well. I felt like this book was very much written for me. It takes place in 2018, which takes a second to adjust to, but makes sense for where the characters are in their lives based on their references.
This book handled a lot of difficult topics. These included homophobia, grief, alcoholism, abusive relationships, anxiety/panic disorder, sexual harassment. These were handled so impressively. I felt the character’s panic without ever feeling unsafe. I applaud the author for not shying away from these topics while also giving the book lighter moments. It was an emotional book but I would not call it particularly dark.
I appreciated that the characters communicated with each other, at least eventually. When a character's feelings were hurt, they communicated that so that the other could apologize. Characters were clear in their intentions and interacted like actual people. This does not always happen in books.
I also enjoyed the character of Reece, who felt like a normal, decent guy. There could have been some melodramatic moments in the story if he reacted the wrong way, but he listened and was a rational person.
I don't want to say too much about this book, because I think that it should be read. Overall I’m just so glad that this book exists.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexism, Misogyny, and Homophobia
Minor: Alcoholism
This book covers a lot of difficult topics but in a safe way.kimberlyyyreads's review against another edition
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
*2.5
Thank you to Netgalley, Dutton and Penguin Random House for sending me a free in exchange for an honest review!
But How Are You, Really stars our FMC Charlotte who is invited to her college reunion five years after graduating from there. Throughout the book Charlotte goes through a self-discovery journey in which she tries to find her voice under all her overwhelming feelings including her burnout.
This was a pretty decent book, I wasn't able to enjoy the scene of the book given that most of it seemed filler but it wasn't a bad book in general, I also believe that one of the reasons I wasn't able to click with this book was because of the genre it was categorized in.
When I saw this on Netgalley I saw it was being promoted as a romance but I wouldn't really categorize it as such given that the romance is not the MAIN theme of the book.
I also saw someone promote this book as a hockey romance but that's not the case either given that the love interest doesn't play hockey in the current timeline that the novel takes place in. If you would give this book a romance trope it would be more of the "second chance" trope.
Another thing that caught my eye on here rather than any other platform was that the book was tagged as "Lesbian" the FMC is NOT a Lesbian she is a Bisexual so I'm not sure why it's tagged as Lesbian...
Honestly, I don't think the book is being promoted in the right way... It's not a romance given that the romance is NOT the main plot of this book, it's being promoted as a hockey romance by some reviewers which isn't the case as well, and then we have the fact that it's being tagged as lesbian when that is not the case either.
This book is the self-journey of a Bisexual woman trying to find her voice and better her own life. The romance happens to be a subplot of it and even then the romance isn't DEEP. This book would be much better promoted in the Contemporary Fiction genre and LGBTQ+ fiction rather than the romance genre.
Overall, this book wasn't bad but it also wasn't great. I believe it could have potential if it was being marketed and promoted correctly.
Thank you to Netgalley, Dutton and Penguin Random House for sending me a free in exchange for an honest review!
But How Are You, Really stars our FMC Charlotte who is invited to her college reunion five years after graduating from there. Throughout the book Charlotte goes through a self-discovery journey in which she tries to find her voice under all her overwhelming feelings including her burnout.
This was a pretty decent book, I wasn't able to enjoy the scene of the book given that most of it seemed filler but it wasn't a bad book in general, I also believe that one of the reasons I wasn't able to click with this book was because of the genre it was categorized in.
When I saw this on Netgalley I saw it was being promoted as a romance but I wouldn't really categorize it as such given that the romance is not the MAIN theme of the book.
I also saw someone promote this book as a hockey romance but that's not the case either given that the love interest doesn't play hockey in the current timeline that the novel takes place in. If you would give this book a romance trope it would be more of the "second chance" trope.
Another thing that caught my eye on here rather than any other platform was that the book was tagged as "Lesbian" the FMC is NOT a Lesbian she is a Bisexual so I'm not sure why it's tagged as Lesbian...
Honestly, I don't think the book is being promoted in the right way... It's not a romance given that the romance is NOT the main plot of this book, it's being promoted as a hockey romance by some reviewers which isn't the case as well, and then we have the fact that it's being tagged as lesbian when that is not the case either.
This book is the self-journey of a Bisexual woman trying to find her voice and better her own life. The romance happens to be a subplot of it and even then the romance isn't DEEP. This book would be much better promoted in the Contemporary Fiction genre and LGBTQ+ fiction rather than the romance genre.
Overall, this book wasn't bad but it also wasn't great. I believe it could have potential if it was being marketed and promoted correctly.
Content Warnings
Minor: Emotional abuse
kelzurs's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This book started out slow for me but once I became invested in the characters, I couldn’t put it down. The journey that Charlotte goes through is frustrating, but rewarding, and she experiences a lot of growth throughout the duration of the story. I didn’t quite know where the story was going at first, but then about a quarter of the way through I began to see it was about her relationship, yes, but also he experiences at college and unpacking her past trauma with her ex and mother, as well as her current trauma with her boss.
Content Warnings
Minor: Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, and Death of parent