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cassie12_21's review against another edition
4.25
“disability” is not a word, It is supposed to be “ablest”
A view of western feminism.
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Racism, Violence, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, and Toxic friendship
Minor: Emotional abuse, Rape, Cultural appropriation, Fatphobia, Classism, Biphobia, and Eating disorder
pianokeys's review against another edition
4.5
Moderate: Eating disorder, Lesbophobia, Stalking, Abortion, Gaslighting, Racism, Body shaming, Bullying, Cultural appropriation, Misogyny, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Cursing, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic friendship, and Transphobia
cogowno's review
4.25
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Eating disorder and Sexual assault
Minor: Transphobia, Racism, and Abortion
nara_knl's review against another edition
5.0
i annotated the shit out of this tiny book… what can i say? HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!
if i wouldn’t have annotated so much, i would’ve lent it to every guy i know, and all the girlies out there.
this book shouldn’t only be read by girls, this is also so relevant for guys!! wanna understand our society? your sister, mother, girlfriend, best friend, … this book is your guide!!
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, Rape, Eating disorder, and Sexual assault
james1star's review against another edition
4.0
- Challenging what we’ve learned and the society we’ve grown up in is hard and uncomfortable but needed for change to occur and the little discomfort is a lot less compared to the injustices, be patient but also call out when appropriate
- Being or making yourself more ‘pretty’ doesn’t make you any less of a feminist because society still values beauty in women highly, different standards for different women e.g. trans, fat, people of colour where additional prejudices are present, acknowledge privileges
- Love yourself, no one really cares about what you’re doing/how you look, why settle when there’s something/one better
- Internalised misogyny prevents progress, ‘flaws’ are MAN-made, beauty standards are fake, healing own insecurities will lead to empathy and viewing other women differently/in a more positive light
- Queer feelings are valid, working though internalised homo/lesbo/bi-phobia, limited and stereotypical views of queerness prevented her from validating feelings, oversaturated heteronormativity in media (it’s ‘hetrifying’), queer women view others via a queer gaze not the typical heterosexual male gaze
- Women can and should enjoy sex too (if they want), reinforces notion they’re passive participants reserved for men’s desires, normalised discomfort forces queer women to repress their feelings
- Asking for consent > sexual assault, shows maturity and it’s the law, providing the option of not doing anything, need to learn this before sexual violence takes place, set and keep boundaries
- Can’t teach how to avoid sexual assault because it’s never your fault, rape culture, ‘preventative’ measures women take when that’s not the problem, it’s physically impossibly to “ask” for rape, openly discuss sexual violence from a young age to avoid it becoming normalised/accepted, rape’s the only crime where the victim is treated/questioned like the perpetrator, inconsistencies with reporting and sentencing
- The price women pay for existing (so many adjustments, additional expenses, etc), spend money/energy keeping safe from men but paid less, standards are set by the hetero male gaze, ‘flaws’ generated by capitalist standards of beauty, still not that safe being visibly queer, women are meant to be sexy but when she uses this ‘power’ that’s a bad thing, how shame is used to put women down, sexual gaze thrusted on woman’s bodies (school uniform, nipples, etc)
- It’s okay and ‘normal’ to feel heartbroken, hard to quit people completely in our social media world, how to recover, craving romance doesn’t make you any less of a feminist
Moderate: Sexism, Sexual assault, Misogyny, and Sexual violence
Minor: Biphobia, Rape, Lesbophobia, Transphobia, Homophobia, Racism, Fatphobia, Sexual content, and Eating disorder
bunnyprincess's review
1.5
It is simply worded and explains very basic concepts, sometimes in a manner which feels quite condescending, which would suggest it is for a younger audience newer to the idea presented, but this would not make sense as the book is quite explicit and definitely not appropriate for younger teens. Given clearly addresses the messages in it to women whilst simultaneously saying that men are the issue- again, I think this makes the audience of the book unclear.
Additionally, the purpose is unclear. Whilst the title suggests a focus on feminism, it is also about dating and queerness that sometimes is tied in but usually isn't. This gives the book a very unclear point. It does not clearly fit into a genre and includes both memoir and self-help. I found the memoir parts more useful and entertaining because it gives reason for her to actually have written the book based on her experiences. The self-help parts were far less successful. It is repetitive and vague: whilst I do not disagree with any of her points, they are very basic and surface-level.
My main issue with this book is its regard for intersection feminism and other identities other than Given's own. Whilst I appreciate her recognition of those identities and their further struggles, it felt performative and poorly done. It often felt like they weren't real due to the disconnect in her writing about POC, trans and disabled women, and the lack of voice she gives to them. Although it was mentioned, it was through her own white cis narration- if she had included their actual voices, it would've been a far better book. This, in addition to the issues around her copying a black author's book, makes this book a bad feminist guide.
Whilst this book has some merit in the pretty illustrations and the transparency on some issues such as sexual assault, it fails in most other areas. It is bad both as an beginners introduction due to its lack of clarity and as a further read due to its lack of representation and surface-level observations. It also very rarely references studies and facts- it seems more guided by the author's opinion which would be fine if it was written and marketed purely as a memoir, but it is not. There are far better feminist books.
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Racial slurs, Homophobia, Gaslighting, Fatphobia, Eating disorder, Rape, Racism, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment
franzi_cs's review
5.0
Moderate: Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Gaslighting, Eating disorder, Sexism, Fatphobia, Sexual violence, Misogyny, Rape, and Outing
liv_txt's review
4.0
Moderate: Eating disorder, Lesbophobia, Outing, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Mental illness, Sexual violence, and Transphobia
wintah's review
3.5
Moderate: Biphobia, Misogyny, Lesbophobia, Classism, Racism, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Fatphobia, Ableism, Transphobia, Sexual assault, Sexism, Cultural appropriation, and Eating disorder
Minor: Rape
holliesatchell's review
4.0
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Sexual assault, Lesbophobia, Sexual content, Misogyny, Alcohol, Hate crime, Rape, Sexism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Fatphobia, and Cursing