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kanthereader's review against another edition
funny
lighthearted
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
This was a sweet and soft read regarding identity and mental health.
The story follows Ben, a non-binary teen who has been kicked out of their home after coming out to their parents. They're now forced to live with their sister and her estranged husband. At their new school, nobody knows who they are but they're brother-in-law, and they plan to keep it that way. That is until they meet the optimist Nathan Allen. Nathan just happens to be everywhere Ben goes, preventing them from only having only art as a friend.
It was incredible to see their friendship blossom into a cherishable relationship.
One thing I didn't like about this book was how slow it was. The romance is limited to the end of the story. It was slightly disappointing that their romance was such a slow one. Even when we got it at the end, it was minimal.
Therefore, this book gets a 4 out of 5 stars from me.
The story follows Ben, a non-binary teen who has been kicked out of their home after coming out to their parents. They're now forced to live with their sister and her estranged husband. At their new school, nobody knows who they are but they're brother-in-law, and they plan to keep it that way. That is until they meet the optimist Nathan Allen. Nathan just happens to be everywhere Ben goes, preventing them from only having only art as a friend.
It was incredible to see their friendship blossom into a cherishable relationship.
One thing I didn't like about this book was how slow it was. The romance is limited to the end of the story. It was slightly disappointing that their romance was such a slow one. Even when we got it at the end, it was minimal.
Therefore, this book gets a 4 out of 5 stars from me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Gaslighting and Alcohol
Minor: Physical abuse
emily_mh's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.25
I don't know how to rate and review this, but here goes. The mental health rep here was handled really well. It portrayed anxiety and depression realistically; meds didn't work perfectly, Ben initially had an aversion to both therapy and medication, and their recovery wasn't linear. I also thought the nuance that Deaver brought to Ben and Hannah's relationship was good. I appreciated that they showed how Hannah wasn't necessarily in the wrong, but Ben could still be hurt by her actions. There wasn't much plot, but I still enjoyed reading it because it was super cathartic seeing Ben start to heal. I think they come a long way by the end of the book.
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
On the other hand, I think some other rep and information was not done well. For example, I really wish Nathan had been fleshed out as a character. It kind of felt like Deaver took the stereotypical "golden retriever" LI archetype and left it at that, giving him no motivations or desires unrelated to Ben. While it was obvious Ben and Nathan had a connection, one I was rooting for, it still felt like I barely knew Nathan. This is the book's biggest issue, because I think it is an example of the situation that readers and reviewers of the global majority have been pointing out for ages, where white authors write a LI of the global majority whose only purpose in the book is to assist the white MC in their development. If I am wrong here or out of my lane, I will fully delete this review. I wanted to flag it in case I wasn't.
On top of this, the book presents some misinformation about being gay, ace, and aro. It implies that a nonbinary person like Ben cannot be gay because being gay is about being attracted to the same gender, and as Ben doesn't have a gender, they cannot experience same-gender attraction. In reality, being gay is simply about non-women being attracted to non-women. This is the quote I am referring to:
"And besides, I don’t exactly have a gender, and being gay implies being interested in the same gender."
It also implies that to be ace or aro is to be touch averse, when only some aces and aros are touch averse - it's this very piece of misinformation that means so many aces and aros don't realise they are asexual or aromantic for ages. Literally a simple "some" in this sentence would have fixed this misinformation:
“'Touch aversion can be common in people who deal with panic attacks, or people dealing with anxiety. In fact, there are some people who are just born or develop that way, like asexual or aromantic people.'”
So, yeah. Do with this what you will.
Rep: bisexual NB MC, bisexual LI of the global majority (ethnicity not explicitly stated), Bahraini Shia Muslim pansexual NB SC, Chinese-American SC, SC of the global majority (Ben's therapist Dr. Taylor, whose ethnicity is also not explicitly stated), Black SC (implied, ethnicity not explicitly stated), Korean-American SC with ADHD
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Abandonment and Cursing
Minor: Ableism, Alcohol, Death, Physical abuse, Drug use, Medical content, Misogyny, Outing, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Islamophobia, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
Major: disownment, misgendering (mostly uninformed as Ben isn't out to most people) Moderate: body dysmorphia Minor: one implied use of the transphobic t-slur, suicidal ideation, off-page use of the homophobic f-slur, 1 HP reference, menstruationeffect3cause's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Wonderful representation of nonbinary identity, depression, anxiety, and family trauma. A lot of books try to do too much at once, but I felt like everything worked together very well - nothing felt out of place or too abbreviated or exaggerated. I know some teens are really going to see themselves in it, and I'm glad it's on my classroom shelf.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse and Mental illness
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders
Minor: Physical abuse
wintah's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
loved the book, great representation and an honest experience that felt very honest and real. also a little deep and challenging tho, but i guess that comes with being queer.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Deadnaming, Transphobia, and Outing
Moderate: Homophobia and Child abuse
Minor: Physical abuse and Alcohol
fanboyriot's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Oh my gods I loved this book. I have no idea why it took me so long to finally read but it’s such a regret that I didn’t pick it up sooner. This book was comforting in a way I’m not sure makes sense when I try to explain other than saying; it felt like a comforting hug after a bad day. The characters were so freaking lovable, Nathan was one of the definitions of ‘golden retriever energy’ and I will not be taking comments about it; Ben was adorable and they must be protected at all costs, and don’t even get me started on Hannah and Thomas they were both so kind—and I loved them very much. 10/10 and will be reading this again.
Hurt/Comfort
Non Binary MC
Online Friendships
Good Mental Health Rep
Angst With a Happy Ending
Hurt/Comfort
Non Binary MC
Online Friendships
Good Mental Health Rep
Angst With a Happy Ending
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Mental illness, Dysphoria, and Cursing
Minor: Child abuse and Physical abuse
alexlily's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
5.0
Reread on audio this time around. Still one of my favourites. The anxiety rep is really good. I need a Hannah and Thomas in my life
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Emotional abuse, Outing, Deadnaming, Panic attacks/disorders, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Mental illness, and Transphobia
Moderate: Stalking and Physical abuse
Minor: Pregnancy, Islamophobia, and Religious bigotry
theheartisanaro's review against another edition
4.5
This bookwas really painful but also really good and important and so relatable and affirming and for that I'm very thankful and I think I always will be.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Abandonment, Gaslighting, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Stalking
Minor: Pregnancy and Physical abuse
peachani's review
challenging
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Abandonment, Bullying, Mental illness, Alcohol, Panic attacks/disorders, and Emotional abuse
Minor: Gaslighting, Medical content, Vomit, Dysphoria, and Physical abuse
icarusandthesun's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
a pretty decent book—sweet, a bit emotional, inspiring, bursting with positive representation.
but a couple of things still kept me from rating it a 5. the characters were wholesome and all, but i thought the main character ben could be a bit hopeless and slightly annoying at times. i understand their struggles and the desire to push people away sometimes, but some of their actions and thoughts didn't seem fair at all and i found myself feeling sorry for the people around them. sometimes i even wondered why everyone was trying so hard to be their friend, because if it wasn't for their hobbies and trauma, there'd be nothing interesting about them.
all the funny banter involved mostly other people cracking jokes and them just taking it.
they also constantly expect support from their friends without actually supporting them in return (especially mariam).
the book was also very slow and i feel like many of the long scenes were not exactly necessary, rather tedious and boring.
i like that the romance was generally very slow-burn, but the early flirting and holding hands caught me off guard a bit.
i enjoyed the portrayal of mental health issues though and thought that ben was overall quite relatable. if this just didn't feel so much like a self-help book with ben complaining and everyone trying to console them....
but a couple of things still kept me from rating it a 5. the characters were wholesome and all, but i thought the main character ben could be a bit hopeless and slightly annoying at times. i understand their struggles and the desire to push people away sometimes, but some of their actions and thoughts didn't seem fair at all and i found myself feeling sorry for the people around them. sometimes i even wondered why everyone was trying so hard to be their friend, because if it wasn't for their hobbies and trauma, there'd be nothing interesting about them.
all the funny banter involved mostly other people cracking jokes and them just taking it.
they also constantly expect support from their friends without actually supporting them in return (especially mariam).
the book was also very slow and i feel like many of the long scenes were not exactly necessary, rather tedious and boring.
i like that the romance was generally very slow-burn, but the early flirting and holding hands caught me off guard a bit.
i enjoyed the portrayal of mental health issues though and thought that ben was overall quite relatable. if this just didn't feel so much like a self-help book with ben complaining and everyone trying to console them....
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Outing, Mental illness, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Dysphoria and Emotional abuse
Minor: Child abuse, Alcohol, Cursing, Homophobia, and Physical abuse
ivan_levitt's review against another edition
emotional
informative
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Abandonment and Child abuse
Minor: Dysphoria and Physical abuse