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sam_crl's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like this book was written about me or at least inspired by my life because I don’t think I‘ve ever related to a character as much as I relate to Ben. If I‘d had this book years ago, my life would probably look very different.
I knew I would probably like this book because of its premise but I never thought it would hit me quite so hard. Ben is just so similar to me in almost every aspect that I felt their pain way too hard. I cried more than once and I almost never cry when reading, so that‘s something to consider.
Seeing someone like me, a queer non-binary teen who struggles with mental disorders, find love and friends and people who make them happy made me so emotional because I realized that this was the first time I‘d actually seen something like that in books. It felt like the author looked into my mind and brought the thoughts to paper in the form of this book.
I can sincerely say that this book changed my life and I thank Mason Deaver with all my heart for writing it because it made me believe that people like me can actually have a life worth writing stories about.
I knew I would probably like this book because of its premise but I never thought it would hit me quite so hard. Ben is just so similar to me in almost every aspect that I felt their pain way too hard. I cried more than once and I almost never cry when reading, so that‘s something to consider.
Seeing someone like me, a queer non-binary teen who struggles with mental disorders, find love and friends and people who make them happy made me so emotional because I realized that this was the first time I‘d actually seen something like that in books. It felt like the author looked into my mind and brought the thoughts to paper in the form of this book.
I can sincerely say that this book changed my life and I thank Mason Deaver with all my heart for writing it because it made me believe that people like me can actually have a life worth writing stories about.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Islamophobia, Outing, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Dysphoria
thewordsdevourer's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.0
was honestly on the fence between giving this 3.5 or 4 stars, but eventually went w/ the latter, simply bc of how we just clicked, despite the fact that it's not a perfect book. i wish you all the best is a contemplative, tender, subtly romantic, complex, and realistic ownvoices book that delves into the issues faced by nonbinary folks. this is my first read w/ a major enby character, and i learned so, so much from it.
one thing i rly like is how the author's able to portray the messy tangle of all kinds of complex feelings, rather than rendering things completely black-and-white, esp in regards to ben's feelings towards his parents. i also love nathan, who's such a sweet, goofy support system for ben, and their interactions that are often filled w/ wry humor, sarcasm, and romantic tension. i like the therapy scenes as well; just sth wholly relatable. while i think that this book could've benefited from more editing--what w/ the noticeable amount of typos and errors--in the end, we just rly click, and im so happy that the world, but esp so many queer young ppl, has the chance to read such an important, possibly life-saving book like this one.
one thing i rly like is how the author's able to portray the messy tangle of all kinds of complex feelings, rather than rendering things completely black-and-white, esp in regards to ben's feelings towards his parents. i also love nathan, who's such a sweet, goofy support system for ben, and their interactions that are often filled w/ wry humor, sarcasm, and romantic tension. i like the therapy scenes as well; just sth wholly relatable. while i think that this book could've benefited from more editing--what w/ the noticeable amount of typos and errors--in the end, we just rly click, and im so happy that the world, but esp so many queer young ppl, has the chance to read such an important, possibly life-saving book like this one.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Outing, Gaslighting, and Abandonment
Moderate: Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, and Grief
alphabetmafiamember's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Abandonment, and Alcohol
Moderate: Physical abuse, Vomit, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Dysphoria
yvonne_cl's review against another edition
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, and Abandonment
Moderate: Child abuse, Grief, and Gaslighting
longlost's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
this book. this book. this book. if anyone ever tells me representation isn't important again i'm going to hit them with this book.
a published book with a nonbinary character ?? a MAIN character ?? who talks about their experiences with gender identity ?? and who also has a storyline outside their gender identity ?? written BY a nonbinary person ?? absolutely incredible. i cant describe how much this book meant to me as a nonbinary person.
as someone who's dealt with anxiety and depression and with a parent who would likely be unsupportive, so many parts of this book felt like they were peeking into my life. it meant so much to me to read a story where ben, a nonbinary character, succeeded and was happy. the book had its heavy moments, addressing ben and hannah's abuse from their parents and ben's fears of coming out after their first attempt was so traumatic. i adored the characters - nathan was so enjoyable to read about and i loved his relationship with ben and how it developed throughout the book (he was so determined to be ben's friend like !!!!! istg reading any part of the book that involved him made me so emotional bc he was just. SO KIND.) and mariam !! mariam my beloved !!!!!! my experience with coming to terms with my gender identity was very much supported by my online friends, so seeing mariam play such a supportive role to a fellow nonbinary kid was so heartwarming, and when they and ben got to properly meet in ben's town i could not have been happier. meleika and sophie were so sweet (meleika offering to pain ben's nails <333 absolutely blessed) and ben's complicated relationship with hannah was, while painful to read about, developed so realistically and i appreciate that despite their estrangement (even if the circumstances weren't either of their faults) hannah was there for ben in an instant. plus a good therapist ?? in MY queer book ????? as ben deserves. their struggle with their mental health was also very relatable to me, and how mason deaver addressed it in the text felt so authentic and caring. all-in-all a flawless book, 100/10, thank you mason deaver for this absolute masterpiece you are a hero of the ages <3
a published book with a nonbinary character ?? a MAIN character ?? who talks about their experiences with gender identity ?? and who also has a storyline outside their gender identity ?? written BY a nonbinary person ?? absolutely incredible. i cant describe how much this book meant to me as a nonbinary person.
as someone who's dealt with anxiety and depression and with a parent who would likely be unsupportive, so many parts of this book felt like they were peeking into my life. it meant so much to me to read a story where ben, a nonbinary character, succeeded and was happy. the book had its heavy moments, addressing ben and hannah's abuse from their parents and ben's fears of coming out after their first attempt was so traumatic. i adored the characters - nathan was so enjoyable to read about and i loved his relationship with ben and how it developed throughout the book (he was so determined to be ben's friend like !!!!! istg reading any part of the book that involved him made me so emotional bc he was just. SO KIND.) and mariam !! mariam my beloved !!!!!! my experience with coming to terms with my gender identity was very much supported by my online friends, so seeing mariam play such a supportive role to a fellow nonbinary kid was so heartwarming, and when they and ben got to properly meet in ben's town i could not have been happier. meleika and sophie were so sweet (meleika offering to pain ben's nails <333 absolutely blessed) and ben's complicated relationship with hannah was, while painful to read about, developed so realistically and i appreciate that despite their estrangement (even if the circumstances weren't either of their faults) hannah was there for ben in an instant. plus a good therapist ?? in MY queer book ????? as ben deserves. their struggle with their mental health was also very relatable to me, and how mason deaver addressed it in the text felt so authentic and caring. all-in-all a flawless book, 100/10, thank you mason deaver for this absolute masterpiece you are a hero of the ages <3
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Gaslighting, and Abandonment
Moderate: Cursing, Religious bigotry, and Alcohol
Minor: Physical abuse and Vomit
GRAPHIC: Abandonment: The first chapter shows us Ben's attempt to come out as nonbinary, and the rest of the book covers their story after being kicked out of their home. Child abuse: Ben's parents are shown to be emotionally abusive to them in multiple scenes, along with Hannah revealing later that their father hit her shortly before she left the house. Emotional abuse: Ben's parents are emotionally abusive on multiple occasions - there are two places in the book where they corner Ben in a public place so that they will be less confident speaking up against their demands and abuse. Gaslighting: Ben's parents minimize their abusive behaviour to them. Homophobia / transphobia: Ben's parents make transphobic and homophobic comments multiple times throughout the book, along with kicking Ben out of the house when they come out as nonbinary. Mental illness: The book has a spotlight on Ben's struggles with anxiety and depression, which worsen after they are kicked out of the house. Panic attacks/disorders: Ben has multiple panic attacks over the course of the book. MODERATE: Alcohol: In one scene at a party Ben is pressured into drinking alcohol. Cursing: Characters swear occasionally throughout the book. Religious bigotry: Ben's mother uses their religion as justification for why they can't be nonbinary. MINOR: Physical abuse: Near the end of the book Hannah recount how their father hit her shortly before she left the house. Vomit: After drinking alcohol at a party, Ben throws up outside.saturn26's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Abandonment, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Child abuse, Cursing, and Gaslighting
Minor: Physical abuse
celery_chickenstorm's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
This is the first book I've read with a nonbinary lead. They were a really compelling character, and reading about them navigating it was really enlightening. While this is a work of fiction, there were a lot of interactions and thoughts that the main character had that I had no prior knowledge of or experience with. This book may be very triggering to nonbinary readers because there are some negative experiences within the book.
Additionally, the elements of friendships and romance where exactly what I would have dreamed of in high school and made me root for the main character to continue on their journey. Finally, I wanted to specifically review the audiobook. I listened to it in a day... it was very good (free on spotify). And you know right off the bat that the main character was assigned male at birth, so as a ciswoman when I started listening to the audiobook I generally interpreted the voice as a more masculine voice, but as I listened through the book I noticed it was harder to distinguish the voice as masculine, feminine, or androgynous because the reader would have times they would sound similar to each. This was a very interesting experience and I think really exhibits the talents of both the reader and the writer in changing my perception of the character.
docked a star because I wanted more of that romance, it was delightful and put butterflies in my stomach
Additionally, the elements of friendships and romance where exactly what I would have dreamed of in high school and made me root for the main character to continue on their journey. Finally, I wanted to specifically review the audiobook. I listened to it in a day... it was very good (free on spotify). And you know right off the bat that the main character was assigned male at birth, so as a ciswoman when I started listening to the audiobook I generally interpreted the voice as a more masculine voice, but as I listened through the book I noticed it was harder to distinguish the voice as masculine, feminine, or androgynous because the reader would have times they would sound similar to each. This was a very interesting experience and I think really exhibits the talents of both the reader and the writer in changing my perception of the character.
Content Warnings
Minor: Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, and Gaslighting
simono_'s review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Emotional abuse
zombiezami's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, and Abandonment
Moderate: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
Minor: Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Islamophobia, and Pregnancy
lwoodley14's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
UGH <33
First of all, Nathan has my MF HEART <333 Whatta sweetie pie. Also, I love Thomas and Hannah ugh. Second, I loved this story. It reminded me of Symptoms of Being a Human because it also centers around a young nonbinary high schooler and ended in both of them engaging in inspirational speeches. Overall, this story was heartbreakingly realistic. Starting from the beginning with the queerphobic parents kicking Ben out of their house to the chest-crushing anxiety that Ben experiences to the back-and-forth with Ben's sexuality that was confusing as hell for them. Regardless, I think this story was really sweet and I'm so glad that Ben realized their worth regarding their relationship with their parents. I think it's an unfortunate yet very real realization that many queer people are forced to have with homophobic/unaccepting family/friends. I also loved that it showed the importance of found family, with Nathan, Mariam, Meleika and Sophie (and technically Hannah and Thomas, although they are family members too) and the love that comes out of it.
The one comment I have (idk if this is really that negative?) is that a lot of the dialogue was not separated from the paragraph. Basically, within the same paragraph, a dialogue line would be directly followed by inner thoughts, which would have been fine; however, the inner thoughts sounded like they flowed straight from the actual dialogue, so I would often find myself thinking that the characters said all of those thoughts instead of just the one line. IDK if this makes any sense, and again, it's not really negative, it just made me reread quite a few paragraphs.
Again, this book was really sweet in the end, and the depictions of anxiety/panic attacks were written so well! While some may have craved more romance, I kinda liked that this story focused mainly on Ben's personal journey with their own identity and relationships. I think it's a great read for anyone, but especially people struggling with the same issues.
Would read again? Yeah
First of all, Nathan has my MF HEART <333 Whatta sweetie pie. Also, I love Thomas and Hannah ugh. Second, I loved this story. It reminded me of Symptoms of Being a Human because it also centers around a young nonbinary high schooler and ended in both of them engaging in inspirational speeches. Overall, this story was heartbreakingly realistic. Starting from the beginning with the queerphobic parents kicking Ben out of their house to the chest-crushing anxiety that Ben experiences to the back-and-forth with Ben's sexuality that was confusing as hell for them. Regardless, I think this story was really sweet and I'm so glad that Ben realized their worth regarding their relationship with their parents. I think it's an unfortunate yet very real realization that many queer people are forced to have with homophobic/unaccepting family/friends. I also loved that it showed the importance of found family, with Nathan, Mariam, Meleika and Sophie (and technically Hannah and Thomas, although they are family members too) and the love that comes out of it.
The one comment I have (idk if this is really that negative?) is that a lot of the dialogue was not separated from the paragraph. Basically, within the same paragraph, a dialogue line would be directly followed by inner thoughts, which would have been fine; however, the inner thoughts sounded like they flowed straight from the actual dialogue, so I would often find myself thinking that the characters said all of those thoughts instead of just the one line. IDK if this makes any sense, and again, it's not really negative, it just made me reread quite a few paragraphs.
Again, this book was really sweet in the end, and the depictions of anxiety/panic attacks were written so well! While some may have craved more romance, I kinda liked that this story focused mainly on Ben's personal journey with their own identity and relationships. I think it's a great read for anyone, but especially people struggling with the same issues.
Would read again? Yeah
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Mental illness, Transphobia, and Gaslighting
Minor: Cursing