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dyagan's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Graphic: Car accident, Suicide attempt, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, and Death
Moderate: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Bullying, and Self harm
Minor: Eating disorder
the_true_monroe's review
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Starting off with what I disliked.
While I appreciate the author’s note and how personal this book is to the author, and how there was a lot of research into mental health and suicide, I could not see much past how badly certain topics were portrayed. Not in the way of “everyone grieves differently” or “this is real life” because all of that is true- this book did not need a happy ending and it was important to include a lot of the stuff we wish did not happen- but in how some things that were very inappropriate or not recommended were not even touched upon.
One thing I wish there was more of in the book was that suicide support group. Although that was not really a realistic portrayal of a group (at least one that is run well) as they literally had everyone share their diagnoses and method of previous suicide attempt (which today goes against safe suicide messaging) introducing another part of who Amanda was was really nice even if she did horribly out Finch to Violet despite her knowing how much she would hate of anyone knew she herself was there.Although it was all nice when Ryan and Amanda joined Violet and Finch’s other friends for a tribute to Finch, we did not have enough character development of Amanda and especially Ryan to justify them being any different from the other mourners at the school who at best never paid any attention to Finch and at worst tormented him.
Also, Finch was pretty coercive and pushy towards Violet such as when he ripped up her note twice when she did not have a direct “yes” … like cool, you are looking for direct consent but you did not except anything but that.
And now, what I appreciated!
I did like Finch’s counselor - he was genuine and even though he started out kind of “eh” for me, he was actually direct with Finch and tried so much to help him beyond actually making him get additional help, which he acknowledges he could have done more anyway. And also, people need to want to get help and Finch did, multiple times. But even the people who fight most against suicide- for themselves and others- end up dying by suicide. And even though people say this book romanticized suicide (which I can see, especially with Violet going on the journey to visit the remaining wandering spots), I think having seen Finch in so many different states of mind- the backs and forths of what his illness does to him, and how he KNEW he wanted to live at so many points, and appreciated life and being awake- he still ended up taking his life. And that happens… a lot. Some of the best advocates for suicide prevention die by suicide even with years of saying “there is always help” and “I am here for you”. I am a suicide prevention advocate myself but also know that a lot of messaging around suicide prevention can make it seem like loved ones did something wrong or did not try hard enough. This books gets that right- how that is in no way true and suicide prevention is not about you as one person preventing a suicide but it is a collective effort across the lifespan for people to recognize the signs, and have the resources to help both themselves and others.
Closing thoughts:
While I clearly disliked this book overall, I am so glad I read it. As a suicide prevention advocate it is interesting to me to read and watch different portrayals of mental health and suicide over time. Even since this was written in 2015, so much has changed to where I know the movie addressed some things that this book did not (although I need to watch it still). I feel like if I read it around when it came out, I would have loved this as I did Thirteen Reasons Why.
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Death, Toxic relationship, Grief, Mental illness, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Toxic friendship and Stalking
Minor: Eating disorder, Ableism, Homophobia, Sexual content, Car accident, and Animal death
writtenwithoutanending's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Death, Bullying, and Child abuse
Minor: Self harm and Eating disorder
dragonmom's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Minor: Suicide, Mental illness, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual content, Self harm, and Eating disorder
soupsoupsoup's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Bullying, Grief, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Car accident, Eating disorder, Self harm, and Vomit
mnatale100's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Graphic: Mental illness, Death, Child abuse, Grief, Suicide, Bullying, Suicidal thoughts, Car accident, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Vomit, Self harm, and Infidelity
Minor: Cursing, Eating disorder, Sexual content, Animal death, Alcohol, and Domestic abuse
maedavage's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
2.0
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Child death, and Car accident
Moderate: Eating disorder
tessvosper's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Child abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Death, Grief, Bullying, Mental illness, and Self harm
Moderate: Vomit and Alcoholism
Minor: Eating disorder and Infidelity
stripy_gloves's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
Graphic: Death, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Grief, Suicide, and Child death
Moderate: Drug use
Minor: Eating disorder
david_slack110507's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
I do think that the main reason why I struggled to like this as much as others and rate this higher was that 1) I took A LOT of time to thoroughly read this and I'm honestly ashamed it took me those long to finish this (And it's not because it was bad/boring or anything along those lines but rather I just didn't really find the time to read it or I preferred to read other books) and 2) The main romance between Finch and Violet, while cute and definitely important just didn't fully connect with me and maybe that's a fault on my end rather than on the book's writing as I'm not the biggest fan of romance heavy/romance books in general.
I do like that the book attempted to show how anyone even those who are living the "perfect" life can suffer from mental health disorders but just maintain it so as to maintain said "perfect" life such as Amanda. However, I think that many of the side characters struggled to make an impact and stand out to the point that I sometimes forgot who the author was referring to when she mentioned a minor/side character's name (However, again this could have been my lack of focus on the book).
Overall, I wish that I had had a better time with this as there's a lot of potential and the commentary on the mental health of teens was really well done (And I like that at the end of the book, there's a list of sites for seeking help for certain issues such as suicide prevention, diagnosing mental health/illnesses in teens, bullying and abuse etc for certain countries) but I just couldn't get into it how others did but I'm glad that many could take comfort and find help or hope from this book.
Graphic: Car accident, Grief, Suicide, Death, Suicide attempt, Mental illness, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Bullying, Cursing, Self harm, and Violence
Minor: Toxic friendship, Eating disorder, Sexual content, and Deadnaming