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23 reviews for:
How to Be Accountable: Take Responsibility to Change Your Behavior, Boundaries, and Relationships
Joe Biel, Faith G. Harper
3.52 AVERAGE
23 reviews for:
How to Be Accountable: Take Responsibility to Change Your Behavior, Boundaries, and Relationships
Joe Biel, Faith G. Harper
3.52 AVERAGE
informative
I’ve been toting this book around in my backpack for at least three years. The very first sentence in the book knocked me on my ass and I put it down, but not away.
Here I am seeing the same old issues in my life affecting me, despite my best intentions.
I’m glad I finally finished it and can see how blaringly my inability to observe my own accountability and present steps (and a workbook) to help start change that behavior. It also helped me to recognize how my lack of accountability plays a hand with other people not doing their share of accountability. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes; but nothing changes if nothing changes.
I want all the people in my life to read a book like this and also marginalized voices who have also wrote on this topic and go and take deep looks into themselves and have conversations with themselves and me in which we perform heartfelt atonement for that which we did not mean to do- but still did; and practice the skills of accountability and forgive each other and feel very vulnerable and present in that moment. This book allowed me to recognize that is not a pipe dream, and if that is what I want out of life, it is up to me to surround myself with people who hear that and also want that for themselves.
Edit- reading further into other people’s reviews it seems that the author is problematic- which doesn’t surprise me. I realize my accountability isn’t contained to one book. I will continue to diversify my intake on this topic.
Here I am seeing the same old issues in my life affecting me, despite my best intentions.
I’m glad I finally finished it and can see how blaringly my inability to observe my own accountability and present steps (and a workbook) to help start change that behavior. It also helped me to recognize how my lack of accountability plays a hand with other people not doing their share of accountability. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes; but nothing changes if nothing changes.
I want all the people in my life to read a book like this and also marginalized voices who have also wrote on this topic and go and take deep looks into themselves and have conversations with themselves and me in which we perform heartfelt atonement for that which we did not mean to do- but still did; and practice the skills of accountability and forgive each other and feel very vulnerable and present in that moment. This book allowed me to recognize that is not a pipe dream, and if that is what I want out of life, it is up to me to surround myself with people who hear that and also want that for themselves.
Edit- reading further into other people’s reviews it seems that the author is problematic- which doesn’t surprise me. I realize my accountability isn’t contained to one book. I will continue to diversify my intake on this topic.
While there are a few useful questions in here, this is written in a very sporadic and surface level manner with too many examples that make it hard to follow and think through with much depth. Majorly disappointing because there so few books on this topic.
Also, Joe Biel has had some legal issues that leave me feeling a little uncomfortable reading this: https://alexwrekk.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/so-whats-the-deal-with-you-and-microcosm/
Other reviews mention some recommendations I'm gonna check out! I would include Beyond Survival and I Hope We Choose Love.
Also, Joe Biel has had some legal issues that leave me feeling a little uncomfortable reading this: https://alexwrekk.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/so-whats-the-deal-with-you-and-microcosm/
Other reviews mention some recommendations I'm gonna check out! I would include Beyond Survival and I Hope We Choose Love.
Some helpful stuff.
a better criticism might come when I have time.
a better criticism might come when I have time.
"If you spend a year stealing everyone's lunch at work, simply ceasing to pilfer those lunches isn't going to repair that trust. You need to address the exact nature of your wrongs. You need to genuinely apologize without justifying your behavior - 'I'm sorry, I didn't have any money for lunch, so I stole yours' is the opposite of an apology, it's a justification, it's a doubling-down against their hurt feelings. A real apology contains remorse, followed by silence and changed behavior...It's less about telling others how we've changed than it is about acknowledging our wrong-doing and making a resolution to work on ourselves."
Any book that's attempting to give you life advice needs to come from a source that has some expertise and excellence in that particular subject matter. I don't think that's a revolutionary idea or a hot take. You wouldn't take advice about cooking from the winner of a horrible chef competition, or get driving lessons from someone who's lost their driver's license because of multiple infractions.
With that in mind, you also probably should not take accountability advice from someone who has not only zero accountability for his own actions, but who blames others for them. (The author literally sued someone for telling the truth about his behavior. The suit was thrown out because it was clearly not valid.)
Frankly, anything this author says on the subject of accountability is immediately suspect in my eyes as it's clearly *not* an area with which he's even passingly familiar. It's not just a matter of having zero expertise in it; it's that his own behavior runs entirely counter to his own advice. Do as I say, not as I do. There's just no credibility.
There are many books out there on this subject that are written by people with actual integrity. Nathaniel Branden's "Taking Responsibility: Self-Reliance and the Accountable Life" comes to mind, as does Harriet Lerner's "Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts" (written by an actual psychologist).
I would strongly urge you to read one of those, and avoid this one. There's just no reason, in an age where information from valid sources is plentiful, to waste your time and energy on advice from people who have no idea what they're talking about.
With that in mind, you also probably should not take accountability advice from someone who has not only zero accountability for his own actions, but who blames others for them. (The author literally sued someone for telling the truth about his behavior. The suit was thrown out because it was clearly not valid.)
Frankly, anything this author says on the subject of accountability is immediately suspect in my eyes as it's clearly *not* an area with which he's even passingly familiar. It's not just a matter of having zero expertise in it; it's that his own behavior runs entirely counter to his own advice. Do as I say, not as I do. There's just no credibility.
There are many books out there on this subject that are written by people with actual integrity. Nathaniel Branden's "Taking Responsibility: Self-Reliance and the Accountable Life" comes to mind, as does Harriet Lerner's "Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts" (written by an actual psychologist).
I would strongly urge you to read one of those, and avoid this one. There's just no reason, in an age where information from valid sources is plentiful, to waste your time and energy on advice from people who have no idea what they're talking about.
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Very simply presented but also highlyaccurate and useful, I loved this book as an audiobook so much that I am going to purchaseit in hardcopy too. Fave quote: "You are not responsible for your first thought, but you are responsible for your second thought and your first behaviour"
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5 stars rounded down
I found this book very insightful and informative to not only my everyday experience but to also help empower those I work with (as a social worker / mental health support worker).
I enjoyed the mixture of psychology, science, religious and holistic / spiritual elements of this book, it engaged different teachings and findings from different areas that I haven't explored before and probably wouldn't have come across if not reading this.
Some criticisms for the book and why I rounded down to 3 stars were some aspects, ironically, felt as though they failed to take accountability for themselves - at times it felt a bit paedophilia/abuse/other gross things sympathiser-ish but on the other hand I think it sparked interesting conversation to be had around - when do we accept someone's wrongdoings happened over 2+ decades ago and have to have a healthy conversation surrounding these topics.
I'm glad I read it, it will definitely inform my practice but reading other reviews and doing research there seems to be some hypocrisy and unreliability from the author.
I found this book very insightful and informative to not only my everyday experience but to also help empower those I work with (as a social worker / mental health support worker).
I enjoyed the mixture of psychology, science, religious and holistic / spiritual elements of this book, it engaged different teachings and findings from different areas that I haven't explored before and probably wouldn't have come across if not reading this.
Some criticisms for the book and why I rounded down to 3 stars were some aspects, ironically, felt as though they failed to take accountability for themselves - at times it felt a bit paedophilia/abuse/other gross things sympathiser-ish but on the other hand I think it sparked interesting conversation to be had around - when do we accept someone's wrongdoings happened over 2+ decades ago and have to have a healthy conversation surrounding these topics.
I'm glad I read it, it will definitely inform my practice but reading other reviews and doing research there seems to be some hypocrisy and unreliability from the author.