This was a good, readable and at times relatable graphic memoir (my first in this genre) and I did enjoy it. We follow Ellie Crewes as she recounts her childhood to adulthood and her coming to terms of coming of age and then coming out. As the title suggests, she highlights the certain times she knew she was gay (or more so told herself she wasn’t).
Personally, I felt that the art style and drawings weren’t really that engaging and didn’t really add all that much to the story - i.e. I could have just read the text and probably had a similar reaction. I think this is mainly due to the simplicity of the drawings, suited more to a children’s book than a YA/adult-targeted audience, lacking emotion at times, quite repetitive and hard to distinguish who certain characters were due to their similarities. This isn’t a dig at Crewes’ talent which is far beyond mine, I just didn’t gain much from the ‘graphic’ elements of this ‘graphic memoir’ - evidently a major part.
What I did like was how Crewes highlights the idea that coming out to yourself and truly understanding oneself is not a clear linear path. There are ebbs and flows with a general realisation that what you are is just that: what you are. Two parts that stuck out to me was when Ellie came out to her brother, later stating ‘TELLING HIM TURNED OUT TO BE EASIER THAN TELLING MYSELF’ - something I do feel is very relatable. Likewise, ‘I FEARED I HAD MISSED OUT ON WHO I COULD HAVE BEEN HAD I KNOWN EARLIER’ very much resonated with me and probably a lot of queer people having this sense of missing out on things because we had to hide away and/or suppress out true selves. The friendships and familial relationships in this book are nice, progressive and shows the power of unconditional love. I personally didn’t gain all too much from the story but it was well compiled, readable and the MC was very lovable, albeit at times doing things we (and she now) know weren’t what was going to make her happy - but we can’t blame her for this.
Moderate: Homophobia, Lesbophobia, and Bullying
Minor: Sexual harassment, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, and Eating disorder