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jerenda's review
4.0
A well-written and accessible instruction book on how to save your train wreck of a relationship. The advice in here is easily applicable to non-married couples or other relationships. Real uses examples of couples he's advised throughout, which make the book enjoyable to read. (All of the example couples he uses are hetereosexual.)
I didn't like his generalizing about "twenty-first century relationships" or the broad sweeping assumptions he made about gender, but he largely restricts his pondering on the subject to the introduction. I think if you're going to make sweeping claims about cultural norms, you should at least back that up with some kind of research.
I also disagree with the idea that you "marry your father" or in other ways replicate the bad deals you got stuck with as a kid. While this probably happens to many people, it is in no way required, and you can definitely avoid that fallacy with a little care and foresight.
Luckily, his advice is generally applicable to either gender, and very sound and thoughtful despite these preconceived notions.
If you're in a healthy relationship already, I recommend skipping to the last three chapters (Get What You Want, Give What You Can, and Cherish What You Have). Real spends the previous chapters exploring what couples do wrong in relationships and how to stop doing all those harmful behaviors, which I'm sure is very useful, but these last three chapters are applicable to those even in positive and working relationships. He talks about how to communicate better and have a great marriage overall.
I didn't like his generalizing about "twenty-first century relationships" or the broad sweeping assumptions he made about gender, but he largely restricts his pondering on the subject to the introduction. I think if you're going to make sweeping claims about cultural norms, you should at least back that up with some kind of research.
I also disagree with the idea that you "marry your father" or in other ways replicate the bad deals you got stuck with as a kid. While this probably happens to many people, it is in no way required, and you can definitely avoid that fallacy with a little care and foresight.
Luckily, his advice is generally applicable to either gender, and very sound and thoughtful despite these preconceived notions.
If you're in a healthy relationship already, I recommend skipping to the last three chapters (Get What You Want, Give What You Can, and Cherish What You Have). Real spends the previous chapters exploring what couples do wrong in relationships and how to stop doing all those harmful behaviors, which I'm sure is very useful, but these last three chapters are applicable to those even in positive and working relationships. He talks about how to communicate better and have a great marriage overall.
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