Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

209 reviews

shortstackz's review against another edition

challenging emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Parenthood looks and means something different to everyone, and Detransition, Baby dives into what that might look like to a cis woman, a trans woman, and a former trans woman. We take a dual viewpoint from Reese, a trans woman, and Ames, a former trans woman. Exploring how their experience of gender has shaped their views of parenthood. The dual timeline simultaneously covers the years across Reese and Amy's romantic relationship, and the weeks following Ames discovering he has gotten Katrina pregnant. I lov d that the story centered on the hopes and dreams of trans women without saying away from their struggles.

I am a cis woman, of white and Asian decent, which is the lens I was reading this through. Ames brought an interesting discussion of gender and gave me a better understanding of gender dysphoria and maybe the reasons someone would choose to live as their birth gender. The dual timeline of Reese and Ames brings so much light to the daily joys of trans life, which I think will help a lot of cis readers to grow alongside Katrina. I think this would have been strengthened from including vignets or interludes from Katrina's perspective, which could have shown how she was navigating her own journey through parental identity. Katrina makes choices. Those choices are, interesting? I have no idea how she jumps to them other than plot. 

The characters of Reese and Ames are so well developed that the lack of development in Katrina stands out as our main cast of 3. Peters prose is witty, funny, and easy to read. There are fun pop culture references thrown in throughout the pages, and I loved the nuanced gender conversations that occured. I wish Katrina's motivations were more clear to the reader, not front and center but in vignettes scattered throughout. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicide attempt, Deadnaming, and Transphobia

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Ableism, Drug use, and Gaslighting

aquakirst's review against another edition

dark reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Sexual content, Infertility, Grief, Abortion, Miscarriage, Infidelity, Pregnancy, Outing, Violence, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Emotional abuse, and Transphobia

Moderate: Car accident and Drug use

who_dat_beasht's review against another edition

tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

this strongly brought up the feeling you get of wanting to shove a fork in your brain after you get a text from a friend saying “well I did the thing 😭😂”, and “the thing” is something they complain about doing every single second of waking life, they proceed to send you multiple drawn out paragraphs/voice notes, it just goes on and on, and they’ll never learn, and actually you don’t know why you’re friends, because they’re a horrible person, but then again so are you, and what would you do without them?

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Cursing, Homophobia, Grief, Transphobia, Outing, Toxic friendship, Hate crime, Deadnaming, Death, Domestic abuse, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Abortion and Pregnancy

zeus_strider's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I find it hard to describe this book, I thoroughly enjoyed it but wouldn't recommend lightly.

This book uses the word

"transsexual"

a lot and frankly a lot of slurs, and if that is going to upset you I might recommend you skip this one.

With that being said this is a book about two terrible people who engage in self-destructive behavior that shows little indication of changing by the end of the book, Reese throws herself into abusive relationships seeking validation, 
while Ames seeks to disassociate themselves because the pain of being present is too much for them to bear.

As a queer individual myself it is interesting to see queer characters who they themselves are not allies as counterintuitive as it is it does happen, Reese in particular is downright hateful of those around her, of those in her community and those of adjacenting communities, and quite frankly anyone who might treat her decently, I suspect that she believes everyone to be as hateful as she is which is what causes her to have such disdain in them which at times can be very difficult to read. 

But overall it's very well written and an interesting view into a very different perspective. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Deadnaming, Infertility, Sexual content, Dysphoria, Pregnancy, Sexual harassment, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Transphobia, Abortion, Body shaming, Lesbophobia, Miscarriage, Outing, Physical abuse, Toxic friendship, Homophobia, Racial slurs, and Self harm

Moderate: Cultural appropriation and Suicide attempt

Minor: Suicide

elzorel's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny informative reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Violence, Suicidal thoughts, Death, Outing, Deadnaming, Suicide attempt, Abortion, Toxic relationship, and Transphobia

sajetheherb's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

What a read! I was hooked from the start, wanting to learn more about the messy lives and relationships of these queer and trans characters - flawed and endearing as they are. I’m fresh off of reading it so still processing the recurring themes of family (chosen and “nuclear”) as well as the intersections of race and gender informing how these characters navigate their world.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Transphobia, and Miscarriage

Moderate: Abortion, Violence, and Dysphoria

pkc's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Misogyny, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Hate crime, Miscarriage, Infertility, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Deadnaming, Grief, Homophobia, Transphobia, and Toxic relationship

atuin's review against another edition

challenging dark funny medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

A fascinating exploration of trans identity and relationships. This book focuses heavily on deeply flawed characters (especially Reese). Every character does deeply frustrating actions that nevertheless feel perfectly in character. There is discussion on how characters feel they must conform to certain stereotypes in order to validate their own gender identity, and the harm it does to them and the people they are close to. The ambiguous ending is indicative of the fact the book has no true answers to the many problems found within, and we, like the characters, have no choice but to try to figure out what solution is most fitting with the characters. 

In particular, Reese became frustrating with her self destructive behavior and her refusal to learn from her mistakes, constantly doing the same thing over and over while refusing to accept responsibility. Even at the end she only felt bad about a mean letter, not the cheating or emotional abuse she committed. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Infidelity, Sexism, Sexual content, and Transphobia

Moderate: Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse

One of the Main characters, Reese, cheats on her partner multiple times, and later on cheats again with a married man.

rjbedell's review against another edition

medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Transphobia, Pregnancy, Homophobia, Sexual content, Outing, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, and Infidelity

Moderate: Violence, Injury/Injury detail, and Deadnaming

Minor: Death, Abortion, and Stalking

sedgewren's review against another edition

emotional funny sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

An intimate portrait of three infuriating, vulnerable, and funny women who live in New York and navigate their way around queer relationships, the trials and pains of being trans, gender, and trauma. The cuttingly insightful observations of womanhood, motherhood, familial, platonic and not-so-platonic relationships made this book breathtaking and fascinating. I was rooting for them the whole way through, despite their frustrating but understandable inability to communicate straightforwardly. 

I think the ending was very fitting, even though it felt like things reversed back to the status quo: Ames is still insecure in her gender; Reese still doesn't have a baby; Katherine will have an abortion and lose another baby; none of them were ever ready for a baby, despite how much they wanted a family together. It was probably the best ending that would've been believable (no sudden Disney glow-ups into becoming the perfect parent)

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Sexism, Transphobia, Misogyny, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship