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zombiezami's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Gaslighting, Rape, Sexual content, Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Infidelity, Misogyny, Sexism, and Mental illness
Minor: Alcohol, Pregnancy, Racism, Pandemic/Epidemic, Vomit, Death, and Excrement
saucy_bookdragon's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.0
Constance Wu seems really down to earth and humorous and I liked a few of these essays, particularly the ones about her time on Fresh Off the Boat and her Twitter villain era (I guess X villain era now, ugh), the time her middle school teacher accused her of plagiarism (that was fucking cruel), and the final one about her parents.
That said, there's not much tying these essays together and I wish she'd gone into some more interesting anecdotes, particularly around her time in Hollywood, or that there'd been more introspection into the anecdotes we got. I kind of don't want to be like "she needed to share more" because god knows sharing this much about your life with the world must be hard, but also if you're writing a memoir you need to either have really interesting experiences like Jeanette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died or the ability to show what your experiences mean to you like Michelle Zauner's Crying In H Mart. Though there are essays with both these traits, there are some without that drag the book down, especially in how random it feels.
That said, there's not much tying these essays together and I wish she'd gone into some more interesting anecdotes, particularly around her time in Hollywood, or that there'd been more introspection into the anecdotes we got. I kind of don't want to be like "she needed to share more" because god knows sharing this much about your life with the world must be hard, but also if you're writing a memoir you need to either have really interesting experiences like Jeanette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died or the ability to show what your experiences mean to you like Michelle Zauner's Crying In H Mart. Though there are essays with both these traits, there are some without that drag the book down, especially in how random it feels.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Rape, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Misogyny and Racism
236girls's review
emotional
informative
reflective
3.0
constance is a far from perfect person and it was very cool reading about her very human experiences of fucking up and learning and fixing herself and still being able to put love out into the world regardless. i cried when she talked about her bunny and i had this empty hollow feeling inside me when she talked about her running through those unfinished mansions with her sister and mom. i loved hearing about her past loves and friendships and how they shaped her and her world view. i feel like i really would have liked this if it was more linear and slightly more condensed, and maybe her writing style was just not for me -- felt a little repetitive at times.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Misogyny, Sexual content, Sexism, and Sexual assault
readingwithcoffee's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
3.5
I enjoyed this Snapchat of Constance Wu in her late thirties but I think the book she writes in her fifties or sixties we’ll be much better.
Her mostly low self esteem in the book can be odd in the book and at times make it seem like she’s being overly hard on herself or making herself more of an underdog then she might be but given what she meant through and the idea of being easily replaceable was what one Asian American producer dangled over her to sexually harass her for years I think it make sense if you step back even if it can make you wish she stepped back a bit when recounting certain events. Largely though I thought a weakness of the book was Wu being what seemed afraid of being too easy on herself, or hard on others that leads to a lot of acceptance and forgiveness of men who frankly don’t deserve it. That said in her own words Wu finds forgiving others how they harmed her a way to free herself from victim blaming herself which I think is important to be patient with, though I think some people who experienced similar harm will find really foreign to their experiences and needs if not more averse to it.
I really liked her like many other women of color talking about harm within the community being used to silence you because you’re afraid of harming the community by talking about how you are experiencing harm from someone within it or a prominent “ally”. I also really liked how she talked about when she gave a disjointed but frankly understandable and over judged response to the show she was abused being renewed no one cared that an out of character out burst signaled something was probably wrong in her life in some way but care at the idea she lost face or wasn’t grateful enough for crumbs. Similarly how she talks about how both non Asians and Asians try to force her mom to fit a Tiger mom stereotype she doesn’t to suit their comforts and limited ideas of Asians and women.
I loved the taxi Can story in NYC though I understand why someone could look at this essay collection and wonder why some were included at all and while non linear essays or books are fine there definitely were times the transitions were rough and it seemed like starting all over even if multiple events and things layer to make us who we are now.
Her mostly low self esteem in the book can be odd in the book and at times make it seem like she’s being overly hard on herself or making herself more of an underdog then she might be but given what she meant through and the idea of being easily replaceable was what one Asian American producer dangled over her to sexually harass her for years I think it make sense if you step back even if it can make you wish she stepped back a bit when recounting certain events. Largely though I thought a weakness of the book was Wu being what seemed afraid of being too easy on herself, or hard on others that leads to a lot of acceptance and forgiveness of men who frankly don’t deserve it. That said in her own words Wu finds forgiving others how they harmed her a way to free herself from victim blaming herself which I think is important to be patient with, though I think some people who experienced similar harm will find really foreign to their experiences and needs if not more averse to it.
I really liked her like many other women of color talking about harm within the community being used to silence you because you’re afraid of harming the community by talking about how you are experiencing harm from someone within it or a prominent “ally”. I also really liked how she talked about when she gave a disjointed but frankly understandable and over judged response to the show she was abused being renewed no one cared that an out of character out burst signaled something was probably wrong in her life in some way but care at the idea she lost face or wasn’t grateful enough for crumbs. Similarly how she talks about how both non Asians and Asians try to force her mom to fit a Tiger mom stereotype she doesn’t to suit their comforts and limited ideas of Asians and women.
I loved the taxi Can story in NYC though I understand why someone could look at this essay collection and wonder why some were included at all and while non linear essays or books are fine there definitely were times the transitions were rough and it seemed like starting all over even if multiple events and things layer to make us who we are now.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Sexism, Infidelity, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Misogyny, Mental illness, Sexual harassment, Suicide attempt, and Rape
l1brarygirl's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, and Rape
Moderate: Suicide attempt, Racism, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, and Grief
Minor: Pregnancy
shell_s's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Misogyny, Racism, and Rape
pikitat's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault, Misogyny, and Suicide attempt
skillwithaquill's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
In a lot of ways, this book shouldn’t be my cup of tea.
There’s so many stories in this book about men and boyfriends and breakups that I rarely if ever seek out in media. I can’t relate to the pressure of “always having a boyfriend since [she] was a teenager” and constantly struggling to make relationships work. That’s never been my experience and sometimes I disconnect with memoirs that are so driven by overwrought romantic entanglements.
But this book deftly weaves poetic themes, imagery, and insight into those relationship stories. They don’t feel trite or boring or too self-indulgent. I did have trouble keeping all the different boyfriends’ names straight by the end of the book, but that’s my fault and not the author’s.
The very uniquely female fear of being labeled and dismissed as “difficult” is interwoven expertly throughout her stories. Even in childhood, girls & AFAB folks are punished for standing up for themselves with ostracism and harsh criticism. It’s a never-ending battle.
I’d rather be a difficult bitch than a push-over or a pick-me any day. But I still have sympathy for those who think they must be push-overs or pick-mes to be accepted and loved. I think this memoir has sympathy for that phenomenon too.
The book gave me more to think about than I expected, which is always a nice surprise.
There’s so many stories in this book about men and boyfriends and breakups that I rarely if ever seek out in media. I can’t relate to the pressure of “always having a boyfriend since [she] was a teenager” and constantly struggling to make relationships work. That’s never been my experience and sometimes I disconnect with memoirs that are so driven by overwrought romantic entanglements.
But this book deftly weaves poetic themes, imagery, and insight into those relationship stories. They don’t feel trite or boring or too self-indulgent. I did have trouble keeping all the different boyfriends’ names straight by the end of the book, but that’s my fault and not the author’s.
The very uniquely female fear of being labeled and dismissed as “difficult” is interwoven expertly throughout her stories. Even in childhood, girls & AFAB folks are punished for standing up for themselves with ostracism and harsh criticism. It’s a never-ending battle.
I’d rather be a difficult bitch than a push-over or a pick-me any day. But I still have sympathy for those who think they must be push-overs or pick-mes to be accepted and loved. I think this memoir has sympathy for that phenomenon too.
The book gave me more to think about than I expected, which is always a nice surprise.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual violence, Sexism, Rape, Suicide attempt, Misogyny, Sexual harassment, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Racism, and Sexual assault
Other possible triggers: descriptions of cyber bullying and internet-specific harassmentcaseythereader's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Misogyny, Sexism, Cursing, Rape, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Infidelity, and Sexual content
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
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