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spookyfaith's review
4.0
I really appreciated her honesty and willingness to own up to her mistakes as well as correct them. She doesn’t shy away from discomfort and isn’t afraid to point out where she has made mistakes.
Her writing is both beautiful and funny; a very memorable combination.
Moderate: Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Suicide, Hate crime, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Racism, Toxic relationship, and Rape
issyd23's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Bullying, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Sexism, Suicide attempt, Sexual harassment, Body shaming, Racism, and Toxic friendship
readingwithcoffee's review against another edition
3.5
Her mostly low self esteem in the book can be odd in the book and at times make it seem like she’s being overly hard on herself or making herself more of an underdog then she might be but given what she meant through and the idea of being easily replaceable was what one Asian American producer dangled over her to sexually harass her for years I think it make sense if you step back even if it can make you wish she stepped back a bit when recounting certain events. Largely though I thought a weakness of the book was Wu being what seemed afraid of being too easy on herself, or hard on others that leads to a lot of acceptance and forgiveness of men who frankly don’t deserve it. That said in her own words Wu finds forgiving others how they harmed her a way to free herself from victim blaming herself which I think is important to be patient with, though I think some people who experienced similar harm will find really foreign to their experiences and needs if not more averse to it.
I really liked her like many other women of color talking about harm within the community being used to silence you because you’re afraid of harming the community by talking about how you are experiencing harm from someone within it or a prominent “ally”. I also really liked how she talked about when she gave a disjointed but frankly understandable and over judged response to the show she was abused being renewed no one cared that an out of character out burst signaled something was probably wrong in her life in some way but care at the idea she lost face or wasn’t grateful enough for crumbs. Similarly how she talks about how both non Asians and Asians try to force her mom to fit a Tiger mom stereotype she doesn’t to suit their comforts and limited ideas of Asians and women.
I loved the taxi Can story in NYC though I understand why someone could look at this essay collection and wonder why some were included at all and while non linear essays or books are fine there definitely were times the transitions were rough and it seemed like starting all over even if multiple events and things layer to make us who we are now.
Graphic: Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Sexism, Infidelity, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Misogyny, Mental illness, Sexual harassment, Suicide attempt, and Rape
heatherjchin's review
3.75
Moderate: Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, Sexism, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Suicide attempt, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Rape, Toxic friendship, Bullying, Sexual violence, Racism, Grief, Emotional abuse, and Cursing
sarahkillian16's review
3.75
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Rape, and Sexual assault
Moderate: Cultural appropriation
skillwithaquill's review against another edition
4.0
There’s so many stories in this book about men and boyfriends and breakups that I rarely if ever seek out in media. I can’t relate to the pressure of “always having a boyfriend since [she] was a teenager” and constantly struggling to make relationships work. That’s never been my experience and sometimes I disconnect with memoirs that are so driven by overwrought romantic entanglements.
But this book deftly weaves poetic themes, imagery, and insight into those relationship stories. They don’t feel trite or boring or too self-indulgent. I did have trouble keeping all the different boyfriends’ names straight by the end of the book, but that’s my fault and not the author’s.
The very uniquely female fear of being labeled and dismissed as “difficult” is interwoven expertly throughout her stories. Even in childhood, girls & AFAB folks are punished for standing up for themselves with ostracism and harsh criticism. It’s a never-ending battle.
I’d rather be a difficult bitch than a push-over or a pick-me any day. But I still have sympathy for those who think they must be push-overs or pick-mes to be accepted and loved. I think this memoir has sympathy for that phenomenon too.
The book gave me more to think about than I expected, which is always a nice surprise.
Graphic: Sexual violence, Sexism, Rape, Suicide attempt, Misogyny, Sexual harassment, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Racism, and Sexual assault
Other possible triggers: descriptions of cyber bullying and internet-specific harassmentwhatwentsent's review against another edition
4.0
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence
caseythereader's review against another edition
4.0
Graphic: Alcohol, Misogyny, Sexism, Cursing, Rape, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Infidelity, and Sexual content
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Suicidal thoughts