Scan barcode
yoana_zarova's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.25
eguy's review against another edition
3.75
The "voices" used in the interview parts really threw me off.
hanzy's review against another edition
3.0
I love Gabor Maté's talks but while this book shares a good deal of information, it got tiresome and dry with a lot of anecdotal bits. It just felt a little all over the place and like the same information could have been presented in a more concise way.
azureyoshi's review against another edition
2.0
When I initially read Mate's works a few years ago, I was pretty sympathetic to his viewpoints - I believe that modern society causes a lot of trauma to individuals and that the mind-body connection is a real phenomenon. And I actually enjoyed When the Body Says No as a companion book of sorts to The Body Keeps the Score. So I figured a broader take by Mate could make a really solid magnum opus that I could recommend to others.
However, this book was a long-winded mess. I don't disagree with the book's recommendations for things people can do to help process and move through trauma (living authentically, feeling the full range of emotions, changing the culture of "normal", etc), but I strongly disagree with the lack of nuance in its core message. While I believe trauma exacerbates most medical conditions, I do not believe it *causes* all of them, which is the message Mate is trying to push this time. His cherry picked stories to back up his message this time were questionable at best and downright dangerous at worst (cancer patients making a spontaneous recovery).
Skim if you really want to check this out. It's not devoid of good content, but the nuggets of gold are surrounded by either trash or fluff.
However, this book was a long-winded mess. I don't disagree with the book's recommendations for things people can do to help process and move through trauma (living authentically, feeling the full range of emotions, changing the culture of "normal", etc), but I strongly disagree with the lack of nuance in its core message. While I believe trauma exacerbates most medical conditions, I do not believe it *causes* all of them, which is the message Mate is trying to push this time. His cherry picked stories to back up his message this time were questionable at best and downright dangerous at worst (cancer patients making a spontaneous recovery).
Skim if you really want to check this out. It's not devoid of good content, but the nuggets of gold are surrounded by either trash or fluff.
calebmatthews's review against another edition
4.0
The myth of normal
“It’s not affecting me was it’s effect.” Tara westover in educated
Response flexibility - early patterns continue to reinforce
Among the most poisonous consequences for shame is the loss of compassion for one’s self. The more severe the trauma, the more total that loss.
The world we believe in is the world we live in. Buddha
Trauma is not something that happens outside us that can never be dislodged. Instead it is something within us that can be healed.
Once one recognizes they have choices, they can exercise those choices. - Socrates
ALS the too nice disease (SAME AS WHEN THE BODY SAYS NO)
Stress shortening telomeres and lifespans
Citing the humors as a justification yikes
Attachment (proximity to others) or authenticity
Shout out to the Texas ice storm
It’s hard to get enough of something that almost works - Vincent fileettees
Children’s need to find their own song
Panskepp Affective circuits
Even if the parent wins the child behavior modification game, the child loses
Birth trauma
When a baby is born a parent is born
Proximate separation
Aloe mothers and the terrorist attack
Parents mattering more than peers for attachment and emotional attunement
Defensive mode or growth mode - can only be in one
Growth requires vulnerability
Primary agenda of schools - play builds brains
Praise for effort vs praise for achievement
A wider lens is often a wiser lens
1. What is right with the addiction?
2. Ask not why the addiction but why the pain
Read recommendation: unquiet mind
December born ADHD 30% more likely to have ADHD because 11 months less brain development
“The most powerful prediction of your functioning in the present is your relational connectedness and the second most powerful is your history of relational connectedness.” Bruce Perry
Robin Williams “it’s not your fault”
Scottish accent
Materialism leads to lower life satisfaction
Don draper “what is happiness? Space it is the moment before you need more happiness.”
Corporations are sociopaths
“Race is the child of racism, not the father.” Tanehasi Coates
30000 veterans died by suicide related to ptsd following Iraq - four times the number killed in combat
Society turns boys into men through disconnection
Healing is a direction, not a destination
Heal vs cure - abstinence vs sobriety
Authenticity cannot be pursued, only embodied
5 levels of compassion
“Only when compassion is present, to people allow themselves to see the truth. And without safety truth cannot do it’s healing work.” - AH Almas
Donna’s cancer, her right to decide, and her miraculous cure - makes me not want to refer this book to people with cancer
The moment you know how your suffering came to be, you are already on the path of release from it. - Buddha
Only when attention is present, can the mind rewire the brain.
2 different writing exercises
One about saying yes and no
Another One from Jonathan Schwartz
Stupid friends - the parts of you who have learned something about you that is not true ex. People in the jungle who thought the Vietnam war was still going on.
Healing your stupid friends does not require that they be eliminated, merely realignment, or reassignment of their role
The Faustian deal - a woman who was severely impacted by drugs is told that she can get her needs met and live to 60 and understand the world well but it will come at a price (friends family money)- would you make the deal?
Trauma is about broken connection - Peter Levine
Who did you talk to when you were upset?
The bedtime story END OF CHAPTER 30 - reread this!
Psychedelics - how to change your mind
It’s not the past that has to change, or can change, only our present relationship with ourselves.
Praying to a god I don’t believe in - Ashley Judd (also the song - breakeven by the script)
Native Americans
BOOK RECOMMENDATION Buddha brain
Not everything faced can be changed, but everything that is to change must be faced. - James Baldwin
MOVIE - wisdomoftrauma.com
“It’s not affecting me was it’s effect.” Tara westover in educated
Response flexibility - early patterns continue to reinforce
Among the most poisonous consequences for shame is the loss of compassion for one’s self. The more severe the trauma, the more total that loss.
The world we believe in is the world we live in. Buddha
Trauma is not something that happens outside us that can never be dislodged. Instead it is something within us that can be healed.
Once one recognizes they have choices, they can exercise those choices. - Socrates
ALS the too nice disease (SAME AS WHEN THE BODY SAYS NO)
Stress shortening telomeres and lifespans
Citing the humors as a justification yikes
Attachment (proximity to others) or authenticity
Shout out to the Texas ice storm
It’s hard to get enough of something that almost works - Vincent fileettees
Children’s need to find their own song
Panskepp Affective circuits
Even if the parent wins the child behavior modification game, the child loses
Birth trauma
When a baby is born a parent is born
Proximate separation
Aloe mothers and the terrorist attack
Parents mattering more than peers for attachment and emotional attunement
Defensive mode or growth mode - can only be in one
Growth requires vulnerability
Primary agenda of schools - play builds brains
Praise for effort vs praise for achievement
A wider lens is often a wiser lens
1. What is right with the addiction?
2. Ask not why the addiction but why the pain
Read recommendation: unquiet mind
December born ADHD 30% more likely to have ADHD because 11 months less brain development
“The most powerful prediction of your functioning in the present is your relational connectedness and the second most powerful is your history of relational connectedness.” Bruce Perry
Robin Williams “it’s not your fault”
Scottish accent
Materialism leads to lower life satisfaction
Don draper “what is happiness? Space it is the moment before you need more happiness.”
Corporations are sociopaths
“Race is the child of racism, not the father.” Tanehasi Coates
30000 veterans died by suicide related to ptsd following Iraq - four times the number killed in combat
Society turns boys into men through disconnection
Healing is a direction, not a destination
Heal vs cure - abstinence vs sobriety
Authenticity cannot be pursued, only embodied
5 levels of compassion
“Only when compassion is present, to people allow themselves to see the truth. And without safety truth cannot do it’s healing work.” - AH Almas
Donna’s cancer, her right to decide, and her miraculous cure - makes me not want to refer this book to people with cancer
The moment you know how your suffering came to be, you are already on the path of release from it. - Buddha
Only when attention is present, can the mind rewire the brain.
2 different writing exercises
One about saying yes and no
Another One from Jonathan Schwartz
Stupid friends - the parts of you who have learned something about you that is not true ex. People in the jungle who thought the Vietnam war was still going on.
Healing your stupid friends does not require that they be eliminated, merely realignment, or reassignment of their role
The Faustian deal - a woman who was severely impacted by drugs is told that she can get her needs met and live to 60 and understand the world well but it will come at a price (friends family money)- would you make the deal?
Trauma is about broken connection - Peter Levine
Who did you talk to when you were upset?
The bedtime story END OF CHAPTER 30 - reread this!
Psychedelics - how to change your mind
It’s not the past that has to change, or can change, only our present relationship with ourselves.
Praying to a god I don’t believe in - Ashley Judd (also the song - breakeven by the script)
Native Americans
BOOK RECOMMENDATION Buddha brain
Not everything faced can be changed, but everything that is to change must be faced. - James Baldwin
MOVIE - wisdomoftrauma.com