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jayricart's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.75
This book is nothing more than another poorly written sexual romp.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Torture, Child abuse, Rape, Gaslighting, Infidelity, Pedophilia, Sexual content, and Violence
planetshelf's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Initial thoughts: This is the only book I’ve ever listened to in 3x speed because it’s the only book I was fine with only halfway comprehending. It was in Libby’s “Available Now” section, so I borrowed it. And no, I am not sure why I did it.
Reflection: But as it turns out, I feel that I have gained something by reading this series. I actually ended up listening to the audiobooks twice. The relationship is undoubtedly complicated, and so are many real ones, so it was interesting to analyze its evolution.
I ended up adding a half-star to my previous 2.5 after my second read.
Reflection: But as it turns out, I feel that I have gained something by reading this series. I actually ended up listening to the audiobooks twice. The relationship is undoubtedly complicated, and so are many real ones, so it was interesting to analyze its evolution.
I ended up adding a half-star to my previous 2.5 after my second read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Torture, Violence, Alcohol, Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Cursing, Pedophilia, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Child abuse and Stalking
Minor: Addiction, Death of parent, Eating disorder, Infidelity, and Sexual assault
meganpbennett's review against another edition
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
After *years* of being told that I couldn't discuss how this book normalizes abuse and is a bad example of BDSM practices, I finally read it. And it's somehow worse than I imaged.
First things first: Grey is an abuser. He's a bit of a gaslighter as well, but first and foremost, he is an abuser. He gives the BDSM community a bad name, using "but I'm a Dom" to excuse his stalking, controlling, and abusing of women. One of the many examples is that contract, which does nothing but give him an excuse for controlling and abusing her (I can hear it now: "you signed the contract, Anastasia, you're mine for good."). She's very leery of the contract, and sends back her changes, most of which he rejects or otherwise indicates are part and parcel of getting into a relationship with him.
He shows her his "playroom" without discussion it with her. Just sort of whip out his whips. When she indicates that she doesn't know very much (anything) about it, he tells her to do some research and sends her off. It's very one-sided, and he seems unwilling to accept any concessions from her, even when she says something is hard or soft no. A hard no is not negotiable.
Within the book, it is very clear that she's not interested in and doesn’t actually want to do this (both the D/s aspects and the B&D aspects), but Grey makers she feels that she has no choice but to accept the contract and the minor concessions he’s made to it. This comes up again and again with aspects of play that she's leery about or uninterested in - such as gagging - but he pushes the topic again and again, attempting to get her to change her mind.
Aftercare. Aftercare is an important part of any BDSM relationship, and is sometimes considered the most important part of the scene. There is next to no aftercare in the book, and as she doesn't know that it's supposed to be, it never comes up.
Grey admits that he likes hitting women, that he likes hurting women. She doesn't take him seriously, and believes that he won't hurt her. This is very apparent in his play practices. I'm not going to get into why they are so bad, but they are incredibly unsafe, and very likely to hurt the submissive partner. As in, "send the submissive partner to the hospital" hurt if the Dom is experienced, and "send the submissive partner to the morgue" if the Dom is inexperienced.
Grey stalks her, something she mentions regularly, but she somehow never realizes that it's a bad thing. She even calls him a stalker, but it's somehow not important that he's stalking her.
Grey attempts to isolate her from her friends, which is a hallmark of abuse. It makes the victim dependent on the abuser, and keeps the family and friends from figuring out the abuse. His first attempts at isolation are passed off as jealousy, and he uses that jealousy as an excuse to get extra Dommy on her. He gets mad at her when she mentions that she was thinking about visiting her mother, because she hadn't discussed that with him. It's as if he was trying to police her thoughts, as well as her actions. He doesn't like that she interviewed from jobs that weren't at his company, because he wanted her under him thumb, dependent on him for everything, including financially (which is another hallmark of abuse).
When we get Grey's backstory, we learn that he was groomed and abused by a pedophile. A pedophile who is now one of his closest friends. A close family friend took advantage to groom and abuse him.
This book excuses and romanticizes abuse. It plays into dangerous stereotypes about BDSM, and badly misrepresents the community.
First things first: Grey is an abuser. He's a bit of a gaslighter as well, but first and foremost, he is an abuser. He gives the BDSM community a bad name, using "but I'm a Dom" to excuse his stalking, controlling, and abusing of women. One of the many examples is that contract, which does nothing but give him an excuse for controlling and abusing her (I can hear it now: "you signed the contract, Anastasia, you're mine for good."). She's very leery of the contract, and sends back her changes, most of which he rejects or otherwise indicates are part and parcel of getting into a relationship with him.
He shows her his "playroom" without discussion it with her. Just sort of whip out his whips. When she indicates that she doesn't know very much (anything) about it, he tells her to do some research and sends her off. It's very one-sided, and he seems unwilling to accept any concessions from her, even when she says something is hard or soft no. A hard no is not negotiable.
Within the book, it is very clear that she's not interested in and doesn’t actually want to do this (both the D/s aspects and the B&D aspects), but Grey makers she feels that she has no choice but to accept the contract and the minor concessions he’s made to it. This comes up again and again with aspects of play that she's leery about or uninterested in - such as gagging - but he pushes the topic again and again, attempting to get her to change her mind.
Aftercare. Aftercare is an important part of any BDSM relationship, and is sometimes considered the most important part of the scene. There is next to no aftercare in the book, and as she doesn't know that it's supposed to be, it never comes up.
Grey admits that he likes hitting women, that he likes hurting women. She doesn't take him seriously, and believes that he won't hurt her. This is very apparent in his play practices. I'm not going to get into why they are so bad, but they are incredibly unsafe, and very likely to hurt the submissive partner. As in, "send the submissive partner to the hospital" hurt if the Dom is experienced, and "send the submissive partner to the morgue" if the Dom is inexperienced.
Grey stalks her, something she mentions regularly, but she somehow never realizes that it's a bad thing. She even calls him a stalker, but it's somehow not important that he's stalking her.
Grey attempts to isolate her from her friends, which is a hallmark of abuse. It makes the victim dependent on the abuser, and keeps the family and friends from figuring out the abuse. His first attempts at isolation are passed off as jealousy, and he uses that jealousy as an excuse to get extra Dommy on her. He gets mad at her when she mentions that she was thinking about visiting her mother, because she hadn't discussed that with him. It's as if he was trying to police her thoughts, as well as her actions. He doesn't like that she interviewed from jobs that weren't at his company, because he wanted her under him thumb, dependent on him for everything, including financially (which is another hallmark of abuse).
When we get Grey's backstory, we learn that he was groomed and abused by a pedophile. A pedophile who is now one of his closest friends. A close family friend took advantage to groom and abuse him.
This book excuses and romanticizes abuse. It plays into dangerous stereotypes about BDSM, and badly misrepresents the community.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Child abuse, Cursing, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Stalking, Violence, Sexism, Confinement, and Infidelity
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