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venti's review
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
murderous lesbians for the win
actual review incoming:
i kept thinking while i read this “wow, this would make a great movie.” because what i read would have been so much better if it was a script. sure, the little literary moments wouldn’t have translated, but lily’s growing obsession with brooke would have been wonderful to see in cinema.
i’m sold at the prospect unreliable narrator in any book, too, so that aspect i really enjoyed.
i was apprehensive at first, but i really like how the two timelines came together. you can really see how lily degrades mentally, how she thinks in the lead up to brooke’s death. mildred was a surprise too — i really enjoyed her perspective. she seemed like the kind of woman who had given up her personhood for motherhood and i really empathised with her. she had some of the best positive character progression out of any of the characters.
the prison chapters were okay. i guess it’s difficult to write an enriching environment when that environment is as bleak as prison, but i really enjoyed (is enjoyed the right word? it likely isn’t) the scene of lily tattooing angel with her son’s name and consuming her blood afterwards. i gasped lmao. i wondered for a moment what the fuck possessed her to do that, and then realised that was the whole point. at this point i realised she had totally derailed from angsty teen to in need of professional help.
i think i’m gonna have to read this again to get the full scope of it. definitely an interesting read and something i plan to return to.
actual review incoming:
i’m sold at the prospect unreliable narrator in any book, too, so that aspect i really enjoyed.
i was apprehensive at first, but i really like how the two timelines came together. you can really see how lily degrades mentally, how she thinks in the lead up to brooke’s death. mildred was a surprise too — i really enjoyed her perspective. she seemed like the kind of woman who had given up her personhood for motherhood and i really empathised with her. she had some of the best positive character progression out of any of the characters.
the prison chapters were okay. i guess it’s difficult to write an enriching environment when that environment is as bleak as prison, but i really enjoyed (is enjoyed the right word? it likely isn’t) the scene of lily tattooing angel with her son’s name and consuming her blood afterwards. i gasped lmao. i wondered for a moment what the fuck possessed her to do that, and then realised that was the whole point. at this point i realised she had totally derailed from angsty teen to in need of professional help.
i think i’m gonna have to read this again to get the full scope of it. definitely an interesting read and something i plan to return to.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Addiction, Drug abuse, Homophobia, and Racism
Moderate: Gun violence, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Sexual violence, and Violence
Minor: Dementia
iguana_mama's review against another edition
4.0
Cross-posted at Shelf Inflicted and at Outlaw Reviews
I wonder if Lillian G. Speck’s life would have turned out differently if her next-door neighbor, stewardess, and friend, Blair, had not boarded a plane to Paris so shortly after her 13th birthday and never returned.
Lily’s brief friendship with Blair reminded me of my own friendship with Valerie, the 16-year-old daughter of the woman who used to sew most of my clothing and a few of my mom’s dresses. Valerie’s mom was amazingly talented. She always used high-quality materials and her garments fit so perfectly that no one in school knew my clothes were homemade. Though I could have done without the frilly dresses, I loved the green corduroy gauchos and hooded vest, the pink bellbottoms, and the colorful tunics that worked as a dress but easily went over a pair of shorts or pants.
The more time Valerie spent at our house, the closer I became to her. She was smart, funny, talented, and rebellious. Even though we were just 5 years apart, that length of time feels like an eternity when you’re just 11. She was my second girl crush (the first being my second grade teacher). Her long, golden hair, edgy clothing, and generous smile were a turn-on. While we lay in bed together listening to records or reading magazines, the warmth of her body and the scent of Coty Wild Musk made my head spin.
One day Valerie’s mom announced they were moving and that was the last I ever saw of them. My parents were indifferent to my pain, just as Lily’s parents were indifferent to hers.
Oh, how I wanted to hug Lily when Blair left.
I loved reading Lily’s story, starting with the morning after her crime on July 2, 1987, and ending in April 15, 1988, as she is reflecting on her actions. The story jumps back and forth a lot and the prose felt a little rambly at times, but the characters, dialogue, and setting felt very authentic. In between Lily’s accounts of her childhood and teen years (family, friends, loneliness, alienation), her gradual obsession with soap opera star Brooke Harrison, and prison life, we also get a glimpse of Brooke’s life, told from the perspective of Brooke’s mother.
Lily’s obsession with Brooke seemed to start shortly after Blair’s departure:
and
Lily’s friend, Edie, was on a mission to rid Lily of her virginity. Lily was concerned about falling behind on her favorite soap opera and had no idea how to tell Edie that Brooke was her priority.
Overall, I liked spending time with Lily and getting to know her. Her story was told with warmth, humor, intelligence, and honesty. In many ways, she was a likable character and easy to relate to. In others, she made me realize how fine that line is between an adolescent celebrity crush and unhealthy obsession.
*Review copy provided by Akashic Books.
“She stroked the back of my neck. I folded into her body and put my arms around her. She held me tight around my waist, moved her legs against mine, and there was her smell—the brandy, the hair dye, the powder—and there were her hands rubbing my back beneath the Delta T-shirt, her silk nightie soft against my cheek, and the motion, the rocking together as she hummed the angel song softly and wrapped me up slo-mo, tight as that string around her tea bag, and I had a vision or memory, I couldn’t tell the difference sometimes…”
I wonder if Lillian G. Speck’s life would have turned out differently if her next-door neighbor, stewardess, and friend, Blair, had not boarded a plane to Paris so shortly after her 13th birthday and never returned.
Lily’s brief friendship with Blair reminded me of my own friendship with Valerie, the 16-year-old daughter of the woman who used to sew most of my clothing and a few of my mom’s dresses. Valerie’s mom was amazingly talented. She always used high-quality materials and her garments fit so perfectly that no one in school knew my clothes were homemade. Though I could have done without the frilly dresses, I loved the green corduroy gauchos and hooded vest, the pink bellbottoms, and the colorful tunics that worked as a dress but easily went over a pair of shorts or pants.
The more time Valerie spent at our house, the closer I became to her. She was smart, funny, talented, and rebellious. Even though we were just 5 years apart, that length of time feels like an eternity when you’re just 11. She was my second girl crush (the first being my second grade teacher). Her long, golden hair, edgy clothing, and generous smile were a turn-on. While we lay in bed together listening to records or reading magazines, the warmth of her body and the scent of Coty Wild Musk made my head spin.
One day Valerie’s mom announced they were moving and that was the last I ever saw of them. My parents were indifferent to my pain, just as Lily’s parents were indifferent to hers.
Oh, how I wanted to hug Lily when Blair left.
I loved reading Lily’s story, starting with the morning after her crime on July 2, 1987, and ending in April 15, 1988, as she is reflecting on her actions. The story jumps back and forth a lot and the prose felt a little rambly at times, but the characters, dialogue, and setting felt very authentic. In between Lily’s accounts of her childhood and teen years (family, friends, loneliness, alienation), her gradual obsession with soap opera star Brooke Harrison, and prison life, we also get a glimpse of Brooke’s life, told from the perspective of Brooke’s mother.
Lily’s obsession with Brooke seemed to start shortly after Blair’s departure:
“He said it didn’t have to be people, but he liked that best. It was a way of keeping them with you even when they went away. And hearing those simple words I knew why I’d been struggling for three days to mix the browns and yellows and whites of your skin, knew I’d finally found a use for that sketchbook Blair had given me just before she left. Now both of you would be with me always.”
and
“You were the first person since Blair who really knew my mind. But you were having a tough time in Hollywood and just like Blair you needed someone to look out for you: I was up for the job. The first step was getting to know each other privately, until I could leave home and become famous. We needed to be on equal footing in the outside world.”
Lily’s friend, Edie, was on a mission to rid Lily of her virginity. Lily was concerned about falling behind on her favorite soap opera and had no idea how to tell Edie that Brooke was her priority.
“How was I supposed to tell her you were more important than anything I’d find outside? Even a de-virginizer. Someone I’d never even met. Our philosophies were totally opposed.”
Overall, I liked spending time with Lily and getting to know her. Her story was told with warmth, humor, intelligence, and honesty. In many ways, she was a likable character and easy to relate to. In others, she made me realize how fine that line is between an adolescent celebrity crush and unhealthy obsession.
*Review copy provided by Akashic Books.
justacatandabook's review
3.0
One of those books I wanted to really love going in, because there just isn't much lesbian fiction out there, and what is out there, well most of it really isn't that good. This book was actually pretty well-written and quite compelling -- I blew through it about 2 or 3 days -- though I was a bit dejected that the main (lesbian) character was a murderer (don't worry, that's not a spoiler). If it's a not cheesy lesbian romance, us gays must be murderers and crazy people. Still, the tale was interesting and quite beautiful, at times, in a weird, melancholy way.
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