Reviews tagging 'Homophobia'

Who Gets Believed?: When the Truth Isn't Enough by Dina Nayeri

1 review

vaekay's review

dark reflective medium-paced

1.5

I found much of this text to be a worthwhile reflection on the asylum-seeking process. As someone born in the United States, I have lived a life that has not yet necessitated seeking asylum in a foreign country; and while I had heard much about the rigorous and traumatizing nature of this process (particularly in the United States and less so in Europe), I did not anticipate the sheer agony, the taught unprofessionalism, and such described by Nayeri. Unlike other reviewers, I did not think that Nayeri discussed the autism spectrum in a way that was offensive (coming from an autistic reviewer), but I understand that many thought that way. What I did find offensive was Nayeri's discussions surrounding her "brother-in-law's" mental health

and his subsequent suicide

. Some reviewers thought that it was hypocritical considering the issue of Nayeri's work, but I thought that that was intentional as a way of recognizing her own issues with disbelief. However, the way she chose to discuss his mental illness, his search for medicine and religion, his "lack of effort," and so on was truly repulsive. Implying that he was not trying enough and he was an entitled white man who only acted this way for attention and money from his parents

(even going as so far as to say he was only trying to kill himself for attention, not because he actually wanted to kill himself, and that it must have been an accident)

was just antithetical to the realities of mental illness, which her "brother-in-law" clearly suffered from. Nayeri never really resolves her disbelief although barely recognizing that she maybe could have done better by him but that that would have been inauthentic to her.

Additionally, Nayeri's sweeping assumptions of other people's empathy seemed stupid. Nayeri claims that no one's "empathy" means that they are able to feel another person's pain, but instead they are relieved that they were spared from the other's pain. What the fuck? What Nayeri is describing is literally NOT empathy. Not how empathy is defined, nor how empathy is practiced. Maybe it is "sympathy," but even then, that is a very cruel definition of sympathy. It was apparent to me by the time I finished this text that Nayeri is of low emotional intelligence and low empathy, and she just assumes everyone is the same because she is. What a shallow reflection of human nature for an author!

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Torture, Trafficking, Xenophobia, Violence, Homophobia, Medical content, Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Self harm, Sexual violence, Cancer, Grief, Hate crime, Addiction, Body horror, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Police brutality, Religious bigotry, Gaslighting, Gore, Murder, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Ableism, Antisemitism, Blood, Bullying, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Excrement, Islamophobia, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Drug use, Racism, Suicide, Vomit, War, Fire/Fire injury, Genocide, Sexism, Deportation, Kidnapping, Medical trauma, and Rape

Moderate: Colonisation, Drug abuse, Classism, Homophobia, Transphobia, and Alcohol