Reviews with content warning for Toxic relationship - The Heart Principle – L'ipotenusa dell'amore

Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

The Heart Principle – L'ipotenusa dell'amore by Helen Hoang

163 reviews

sunfalls's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I liked this book the best out of all three books in this series. Stella didn't feel like a real character in some ways because she changed fundamentally when she met and dated Michael. It has been a while since I read the book, so I can't remember all of the details, but what I do remember is that a good few of her symptoms just up and disappeared with Michael. Both she and Anna have similar personalities, while also being different enough to be two unique characters on different parts of the autistic spectrum. However, Anna seems more like a real character than Stella did. Stella felt like a caricature of a woman with autism because it felt like all of the differences in her brain chemistry just magically poofed with Michael. She didn't like kissing in public, but suddenly she was okay with it because Michael made her and she loved Michael? I feel like I might be getting things incorrect because that feels so out there and weird and not what any person would reasonably do. Anna is a good character because she realizes that she is worthy of being loved exactly as she is, and Quan accommodates that. He helps her through her burnout. She attempts to meet Quan and accommodate him in his needs too. Out of everyone in this series, I like this book the best because both Quan and Anna both feel real and their relationship feels normal. The problems that they faced feel normal. In the first two books, there were outrageous misunderstandings and changes and all sorts of other things that made the couples' stories feel flat and fake and extremely out of the realm of reality.

I think I appreciate the fact that Helen Hoang attempted to write romance books featuring autistic characters because there is a sad stereotype that infantilizes autistic people, even adults, and it's important to have representation that shows that autistic people are adults and fully capable of having love and romance, not babies that need to be cooed over and pitied. However, I feel like the first two books fall woefully flat, despite good intentions. If anything, the first book enforces really harmful stereotypes, where with the "right" man, an autistic woman's symptoms will change, or that her autism is just "quirks" of her personality, like she is just an eccentric choosing to not follow the norm. The second book makes it worse, since autistic men are more often accommodated and diagnosed properly than autistic women are, and the second book reinforces the first book's failings by showing a relationship where an autistic man is accepted and loved as he is. Khai's treatment is a direct antithesis to Stella's treatment, since Esme changes her behavior and interactions with him to accommodate his needs, while Michael seems to make Stella's behaviors change to override her needs. I am not an expert or anything, so all of this might just be an incorrect reading of these books; however, I feel like while the representation was good, there were other lacking things in those first two books.

Now on to the things I enjoyed in this book, entirely separate from how it compares to the first two books in this series: I really liked Anna's journey, not only through her relationship with Quan, but with her relationship with herself as well as with her family. This felt like a very personal thing to read about, but it really resonated with me because of how similar certain elements are to my own experiences. I really admire the way that Anna managed, both with the help of her therapist and her diagnosis and especially Quan, to work on healing herself and breaking herself out of the traps that her family's strict expectations placed on her. I like how real everyone in this book was, as well as how both Anna and Quan had their own separate issues to deal with, and by trusting in each other, they were able to make steps that they hadn't been able to make earlier in their lives. Of course, their relationship and trust with one another wasn't all that it took to get them to make those changes and improve their self love and self confidence, as well as their lives, and that was great to read about too. That both Quan and Anna managed to make changes and process things together and on their own was amazing to read about. It would have been easy for them to become co-dependent on each other, but they didn't. They made progress and changes, together and alone. I can't think of a single reason why I would dislike this book. It might not have been perfect, but life never is. I really like the way this book doesn't treat any of their problems as one and done either; most people don't have one giant crisis in their lives that they fix and then live happily ever after. I like that the ending of this book ended with them making great strides and progress to live in a better manner towards themselves than they had been, but the ending of the book doesn't try creating any delusions towards a happy ever after ending. I appreciate that realness. I also like the ending for Quan and MLA as being more of a beginning, since after the acquisition with LVMH, there would presumably be more work for Quan to do. I like that he got an outcome with the company that would be good for the company and Quan as well, remaining on as CEO. Overall, I liked this book in a lot of ways. Well worth the read, and much much better than the first two.

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this_momma_is_booked's review against another edition

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challenging emotional inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

I really loved this book, even though the tone of it was so different from the other books set in this universe. I appreciated Helen Hoang's attempt to make an Autism diagnosis understandable to those who are not on the spectrum. There were so many times throughout the book where I wanted to physically shake Anna's family into being compassionate and understanding and empathetic instead of falling back on their cultural norms and brushing everything under the rug.

As for the romance, I did feel that it lacked a bit. This doesn't deter from the book as a whole if I'm just looking at it as a work of fiction. I just felt that it was heavily marketed as a romance and Anna's journey was more important to the storyline than her relationship with Quan. Again, this isn't a bad thing necessarily and I found Anna to be an insightful and nuanced character; I just wish we would have gotten a bit more relationship building between her and Quan.

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sarah_chapman's review against another edition

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emotional informative sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

instalovewithbooks's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

One of my top faves for the year. Absolutely brilliant. Quan might have needed to be more fleshed out a bit, more developed, but Anna was the star of the show for this book. The heartache, and the pain she goes through in these pages destroyed me. But the ending was very good, and I am glad things ended as they did. I am so proud of Anna and Quan 🥹

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thefatpaperback's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful medium-paced

5.0

100/5 stars. This book has a romance subplot and a happily ever after, but it more of a fiction read in my opinion. Reading this book was affirming in more ways than I could’ve ever imagined. It helped me see so much of what’s happened in my own life over the past few years. In watching Anna take care of herself and return to her passions, I feel like I can daydream about the future again. It’s feels like taking a good, deep breath. I’ll never love another book quite like I love this one.

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skydelks's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

i adore anna sun

Content Warnings

yvonne_cl's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Content Warnings

ashley97's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Content Warnings

vel629vet's review against another edition

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challenging emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

This was not romance. It was women’s lit. It was excellently written, with her most developed main character to date, but it was heartbreaking and depressing. Unfortunately just not at all what I was signing up for in this series that has been insightful but fun so far. I do think this is an important story about autism and ableism, but it just wasn’t romance. I think putting it as the 3rd in this romance series honestly did the story injustice.

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pini27's review against another edition

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emotional informative reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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