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4.16 AVERAGE
4.16 AVERAGE
reflective
medium-paced
informative
reflective
"But some of these critiques [of pick-up artists] also had the effect of obscuring the fact that much of the seduction industry looks less like these extreme expressions of hypermisogyny and more like a perfectly predictable outgrowth of the heterosexual-repair industry, or the run-of-the-mill misogyny that has troubled modern heterosexual relationships from the start. Most seduction coaches and pickup artists base their work on the same premise that was phenomenally popular when John Gray circulated it in the 1990s with Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and when Steve Harvey circulated it in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man in 2009: namely, that men and women want fundamentally different things out of heterosexuality, and as a result, their attraction and relationships are fraught with conflict and misunderstanding. Seduction coaches, at some level, know that heterosexuality’s continued fragility and failure produce a demand for interventions that can build women’s sexual desire for average men and increase average men’s capacity to elicit that desire. So while commentators critiqued the pickup-artist industry for teaching men to be “fake” with women in order to have sex with them, this kind of performativity was certainly nothing new; as self-help writers have told the millions of straight people who have bought their books, heterosexuality works best when men and women learn to say and do things that they don’t actually want to say or do, for the sake of heterosexuality—to express interest, gratitude, and connection, whether they feel it or not. In the heterosexual-repair industry, this is not about manipulation; it is about learning an advanced relationship skill."
Imo this book is strongest in sections like the above, when it contextualizes current prominent attitudes towards heterosexual romance and family life. The anecdotal ethnographical parts are less substantive and don't say many new things. Still a valuable read.
Imo this book is strongest in sections like the above, when it contextualizes current prominent attitudes towards heterosexual romance and family life. The anecdotal ethnographical parts are less substantive and don't say many new things. Still a valuable read.
challenging
informative
reflective
slow-paced
hopeful
medium-paced
challenging
dark
funny
informative
fast-paced
informative
medium-paced
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
brought on a bit of depressive crisis as I read what I already know about so many men but a solid read that at times made me question and re-evaluate
Would legitimately recommend this book to anyone, although you won’t be able to look at the world the same. This is a brutally honest account of a feminist’s study of straight culture. It was empowering yet entertaining as hell.