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danithezombie's review
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Religious bigotry, Sexual violence, Sexism, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Medical content, Child death, Infertility, Medical trauma, Miscarriage, and Misogyny
elledanie's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
5.0
WILD! Just crazy to hear her perspective and get the truth about all the things that happened. Well-written and gripping!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy
Minor: Cancer, Child abuse, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Alcohol, Infertility, Child death, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Death of parent, and Emotional abuse
maeverose's review against another edition
I’m not giving this book a rating, partly because it doesn’t feel right and partly because, as an agender agnostic leftist who dabbles in witchcraft, I have vastly different views from Jill Duggar, and trying to fairly put a rating to a book written by someone with her views gives me the ick tbh.
I’m typically anti-celebrity memoir, but wanted to read this because I remember half-watching the show with my mom when I was little, and to be honest was just curious what Jill had to say about having grown up in a cult. I hadn’t kept up with anything past when I watched the show as a kid, so there was a lot I didn’t know about until reading this book, and I wasn’t even sure where she sat religiously/politically at this point before going into the book, but after reading it it’s clear that she’s still a conservative christian. But most people probably already knew that.
It’s tough to review a book like this, because I haven’t lived her life, and it’s not for me to decide how she or anyone else chooses to deal with their trauma or whether or not they should stay in contact with or try to fix their relationship with their abusers. I’m happy she was able to escape IBLP, and stand up for herself against her parents and start her healing process, but it’s clear she has farther to go, and I really hope she’s able to continue the process. From my perspective Jill’s story is far more disturbing than she seems to be framing it. I struggle to understand how she can describe in detail the abuse her father in particular did to her and in the next sentence say “I love Pops, I just wish ___”. It’s mind boggling to me. She talks about them like they’re kind people who just didn’t do a great job at parenting, rather than the incredibly controlling, abusive cult members that they were and are. Abuse doesn’t have to look like shouting and physical violence. What she went through was absolutely abuse but she never names it as such. To me it read like she’s not yet out of the brainwashing her parents put her through. It’s sad to see. Part of me wonders if her being gentle towards her parents is a front for the sake of avoiding conflict. I doubt it though.
“I wanted to hide. I wanted everything to go away. I didn’t want to have to pour concrete around my heart in an attempt to shield me from the blast.” That’s not a normal reaction you’d have to a parent whom you love showing up at your house.
The whole pants story was so ridiculous it’s comical. It’s literally fabric.. That you put on your body… I have no words
I already hated reality TV before reading this, but wow. It’s so mind boggling to me how people (the producers and the viewers of these shows) treat people’s lives and people’s trauma as entertainment. I will never understand how they don’t even seem to think about the real person living that life and that trauma. I strongly disagree with Jill Duggar’s views on a lot of things but, especially regarding the S/A leak, no victim of abuse deserves to go through something like that. I sincerely hope that the release of this book might finally give the ones responsible for leaking that what they deserve.
There are numerous content warnings to give this book but the main ones - aside from intense religious bigotry and being raised in a cult with controlling parents - is the sexual assault Jill and some of her sisters went through (committed by her brother Josh). The actual assault is never recounted, but there is frequent mention of the aftermath throughout the book and it was upsetting to read. There is also a moment where Jill describes the very traumatic birth of her second son, with little warning before hand. This is described in more detail. If either of those are especially upsetting to you, please go in prepared.
In conclusion, it was very weird reading this book from my agnostic perspective, through the lens of a conservative christian talking about her even more conservative christian upbringing after partially but not fully breaking out of that set of beliefs…
I’m typically anti-celebrity memoir, but wanted to read this because I remember half-watching the show with my mom when I was little, and to be honest was just curious what Jill had to say about having grown up in a cult. I hadn’t kept up with anything past when I watched the show as a kid, so there was a lot I didn’t know about until reading this book, and I wasn’t even sure where she sat religiously/politically at this point before going into the book, but after reading it it’s clear that she’s still a conservative christian. But most people probably already knew that.
It’s tough to review a book like this, because I haven’t lived her life, and it’s not for me to decide how she or anyone else chooses to deal with their trauma or whether or not they should stay in contact with or try to fix their relationship with their abusers. I’m happy she was able to escape IBLP, and stand up for herself against her parents and start her healing process, but it’s clear she has farther to go, and I really hope she’s able to continue the process. From my perspective Jill’s story is far more disturbing than she seems to be framing it. I struggle to understand how she can describe in detail the abuse her father in particular did to her and in the next sentence say “I love Pops, I just wish ___”. It’s mind boggling to me. She talks about them like they’re kind people who just didn’t do a great job at parenting, rather than the incredibly controlling, abusive cult members that they were and are. Abuse doesn’t have to look like shouting and physical violence. What she went through was absolutely abuse but she never names it as such. To me it read like she’s not yet out of the brainwashing her parents put her through. It’s sad to see. Part of me wonders if her being gentle towards her parents is a front for the sake of avoiding conflict. I doubt it though.
“I wanted to hide. I wanted everything to go away. I didn’t want to have to pour concrete around my heart in an attempt to shield me from the blast.” That’s not a normal reaction you’d have to a parent whom you love showing up at your house.
The whole pants story was so ridiculous it’s comical. It’s literally fabric.. That you put on your body… I have no words
I already hated reality TV before reading this, but wow. It’s so mind boggling to me how people (the producers and the viewers of these shows) treat people’s lives and people’s trauma as entertainment. I will never understand how they don’t even seem to think about the real person living that life and that trauma. I strongly disagree with Jill Duggar’s views on a lot of things but, especially regarding the S/A leak, no victim of abuse deserves to go through something like that. I sincerely hope that the release of this book might finally give the ones responsible for leaking that what they deserve.
There are numerous content warnings to give this book but the main ones - aside from intense religious bigotry and being raised in a cult with controlling parents - is the sexual assault Jill and some of her sisters went through (committed by her brother Josh). The actual assault is never recounted, but there is frequent mention of the aftermath throughout the book and it was upsetting to read. There is also a moment where Jill describes the very traumatic birth of her second son, with little warning before hand. This is described in more detail. If either of those are especially upsetting to you, please go in prepared.
In conclusion, it was very weird reading this book from my agnostic perspective, through the lens of a conservative christian talking about her even more conservative christian upbringing after partially but not fully breaking out of that set of beliefs…
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Misogyny, Religious bigotry, Emotional abuse, Pregnancy, Child abuse, and Medical trauma
Moderate: Cancer, Sexual assault, Incest, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Infertility, and Terminal illness
Minor: Child death, Miscarriage, Gun violence, Kidnapping, Murder, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
The medical trauma is birth related. A large portion of this book is recounting the experience of growing up in a religious cult with abusive parents, and the parts that aren’t still show the sustained trauma from that upbringing, in way that’s clear the author is still not fully out of that brainwashing.apagetoturn's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Pregnancy, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Grief, Gaslighting, Child abuse, Sexual assault, and Child death
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