Reviews with content warning for Infidelity - Kiss Her Once For Me

I read this in winter of 2023 actually but I actually still need to yap about this still so we'll pretend it was a recent finish.

I'm not usually a romance reader so I'm not sure how this stacks against other LGBTQIA+ romance options but I think this made me want to try more?? Maybe?? I think its obvious from the jump that its gonna be corny (and the cover is generic and ugly, which is typical for romance but not the rule) but it was surprisingly sincere and authentic at times. I think the book or the author thinks that its way funnier than it is but even when the jokes are cheap or obvious they're at least.. idk, cute i guess.

It has good elements! Even great ones, but I need to complain first.

It was an infuriating read at times, mostly due to the narrator but sometimes due to the fact that a lot of the book's elements are a cheugy-ass 90's-kid dream. Everything from Taylor Swift to Gilmore Girls to the totally-not-starbucks chain is brought out and flaunted. I liked the love interest a lot, but I will confess that she was the poster child of a millennial's sapphic love interest: a thin, fit, short haired, strong jawed individual who wears flannels and has strong hands and (gasp) also bakes????. It's gag-inducing at times. Despite all that though she is hot, don't get me wrong. In fact, she's probably the best character here. (Disregarding the fact that she has a foot fetish which is just hilarious so I'll forgive her and the author while reserving the right to make fun of both.). She deserved none of the stress this plot and MC put on her. Not to mention all the lame tropes- arranged/fake dating, love-at (nearly)- first-sight, an MC who just can't seem to get it together, needless miscommunication, the third-act breakup, so on. None of this was hard to get through though, I just rolled my eyes as hard as I could and moved on. Its the damn protagonist that really makes this book start to feel like punishment.

First of all, fuck this girl for sharing my name and identities. I don't know what I did to this author personally but clearly it must have been bad for you to make a bi, demisexual girl named Ellie with creative hobbies and then write her to be the most insufferable loser I've ever had the displeasure of experiencing first-person narration through. Ellie is an anxious mess who can't get far enough out of her own way to realize that she has her head lodged firmly up her ass. She firmly believes that she is the martyr of the world as she is supported by her friends, spends her holiday in a lovely mansion, and is hosted by a wealthy and (mostly) likeable family who clearly enjoy her company.

She exploits real people in her life by making them into characters for her cringey webcomic (where she bitches about everything else in her life) to the tune of a potential publishing deal and some validation in her skills

. She's a pushover who lets the plot rawdog her as it pleases, even if it means moving her flimsy personality out of the way to let the events of the book happen. Whenever she does need to roll over in this way, she bemoans in her narration that it would be out of character for her- as if I needed to hear that. This refrain becomes really common since, y'know, plots usually demand that characters take actions of various kinds, and we come to find that almost any action is unlike her. We are constantly hearing about the fact that the things she is currently doing are not things she normally would. It's probably true, as I can truly only picture this woman rotting in her bed when plot isn't happening to her, but it's still a sentiment that fills far too many lines on the page. I really can't stand passive characters but what I really don't need is to be reminded of just how passive characters are. Constantly.

Of course, none of that makes Ellie a bad character. I would even hesitate to call her a bad person. She behaves in understandable ways and I felt sorry for her just as often as I was fed up by her. Her mental illnesses, abusive mother/childhood, and poor coping methods have clearly taken the wheel from her and she's been too burnt out and rejected to steer herself towards a better life. Her biggest sin is really the ways in which she uses other people towards her own ends- the rest is just annoying. Most importantly, and the thing that kept me from just saying 'fuck it' and abandoning the book completely, is the fact that all the characters in the book find out that she's been acting like a cunt and they all react appropriately and tell her to take a hike. I was worried that, given the resemblance this book has to a Hallmark movie, that Ellie was going to be dismissed as a 'quirky, relatable, hot mess' instead of the unmoored and insecurely attached adult who hit rock bottom and grabbed a pickaxe that we know her to be. It was cathartic, it allowed Ellie to finally start addressing her unchecked habits, and it was a big reason as to why I'm giving this book 3 stars instead of 2.

I'm aware that this is some kind of send-off to an existing movie that strongly influenced this author and this story. I haven't seen it though so I can't make any comparisons. I can only pray that the characters in it are not nearly as much of a huge drag though. I probably won't watch it to be frank- not because of this book but just because I don't care. lol.

In terms of the good, there are things to talk about! This book has some really fun, sweet moments and enjoyable characters. They don't feature as strongly as I would like but I blame our narrator's lack of awareness for that. The drama here is also great fun, if you don't mind it being cheap or even stupid. The bar is low considering that the romance here moves way way too fast but I loved seeing some demisexual rep from the MC!

I won't lie either, the sex here was kinda hot. You have to be willing to stifle your laughter when Jack seductively slips off Ellie's socks since, again, she has an honest-to-god foot fetish, but after that the characters start to have real physical chemistry. It's decent sex writing. Better than have the shit you see on the shelf today, anyways. Do bear in mind that I am on the asexual spectrum though so if you like smut (or spice or whatever the hell you wanna call it) this is not for you, as it only comprised of, like, 2 chapters. It was the right amount of tasteful for me, is what I'm saying.

Ultimately, this book is leagues better than any other half-assed attempt at a 'queer hallmark-style holiday romance' (and we all know a few examples by now) but don't entertain any delusions that its going to be high literature. It's still hokey bullshit, just less heterosexual bullshit. I, for one, like hokey bullshit, especially around the holidays. If you do too then it might be worth the read, just make sure to bring all of your patience with you.

Content Warnings

relin's review

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emotional hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes

5.0

I enjoyed the absurdity of the premise and watching it all play out was satisfying! Felt very bi!

Content Warnings

joensign's review against another edition

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funny hopeful lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

jojothefool's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I had so much fun with this! Looooved the characters and the plot, the tropes were twisted just enough to be very fun and lovable. The discussions and growth around failure and self-fulfilling prophecies was really interesting and well written. Inspiring and encouraging self-reflection, especially for a fellow perfectionist. So much fun, very silly romcom vibes. It’s clear this is a Christmas book so it would’ve been even more fun to read in the winter but I didn’t check that when I started lol

Content Warnings

nere's review

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lighthearted medium-paced

Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

6 may 2024

the plot contrivances felt unearned. and I couldn’t quite get myself to quite suspend disbelief. a lot of it hinges on the

miscommunication

trope, which I’m coming to realize I dislike. and although I did understand the affection between the two leads, the declaration of love occurs after knowing each other for

seven days and I’ve never really been a fan of instalove :(

in short, it had tropes I don’t like and I didn’t know that going in. not necessarily the book’s fault. for what its worth. I kept reading until the end. which is more than could be said about most other romance books I start and promptly don’t finish.

Content Warnings

cats33's review against another edition

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adventurous emotional funny lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

elliott_the_clementine's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Kiss Her Once For Me is painfully messy and completely adorable.

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