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3.68 AVERAGE
3.68 AVERAGE
Absolutely raced through this, could not put it down! Less nauseating than Brainwyrms which I appreciated but still gory and disgusting so chefs kiss. some people on here will tell you it's not good when a book tells you things too hard but I think it was fine and fun actually. The experimental style of writing was extremely up my alley and especially dug the split screen chapter for being deliciously tense and horrifying . Will rec this to cool people only
dark
medium-paced
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
September 2023. #SapphicSeptember categories: Debut, new to me, different identity than my own. A bit behind on posting this one.
The first book I’ve read where a Morrisey poster cockblocks a hookup by knocking on the bed or floor, notably.
Honestly I’d put off writing a review because I was so disappointed in it. To be clear: trans women are women, trans men are men.
Moving on, I was truly appalled by the way claims of sexual assault are handled and implications of it especially in regards to trans characters, and the sheer number of pages dedicated to rape and violence against trans people, which didn’t feel purposeful but just felt like an overwhelming repetitive torrent.
Spoilers below for more details: CW for violence, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault, violence
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The concerning:
Both main characters are trans and are rapists and lie about it. Not clear why this is a choice made by the author.
Multiple characters make claims and have claims against them of sexual assault. It turns out both the main characters, an out trans woman and TERF closeted trans man, raped each other and are accusing the other of being the only one who committed rape. Another woman attempts sexual assault and then claims to have been the victim.
Not a great way to present people who claim to have been sexually assaulted or to have 100% of trans characters be rapists who lie about it.
At one point it says the haunted house made them rape each other, but it’s still a choice to only make trans characters (and 100% of them) rape people when they enter the house when no one else does.
The TERF lesbian main character is later presented to have been a closeted trans man after all, and the whole “your abusers are secretly gay that’s why they are bigots” thing is a bit played out and frustrating.
Page after page and chapter after chapter of homophobic, antisemitism, transphobic statements and slurs and detailed multiple page meandering rambling descriptions of trans women being raped, cut new holes in their bodies, and raped more and left for dead. The same multiple page 4chan rant (stated it’s being read on 4chan) is repeated in the book verbatim so you have to sit through it twice.
This is not done in an effective way at all, just violent bigoted word vomit over and over.
Then of course at the end the two trans characters that raped each other end up happy together at a pride parade and are murdered by some random white dude who read some of those rants about raping trans women on 4chan. What a reveal. The TERF was trans all along. Two rapists of each other got over it and are a happy couple, and then die.
The Silly:
One of the side effects of visiting a haunted house is apparently that her Morrisey poster is now haunted which manifests as it cockblocking her. It stares at her hookup during sex so they put the poster under the bed, and it knocks on the bed from under it until the love interest gets weirded out and leaves.
The haunted house makes the cishet white friend who enters with them stand like a swastika and they are stuck that way. As far as I can tell that would mean doing that old “walk like an Egyptian” dance or maybe kneeling with one leg forward and one abck like you were going to tie your shoes. Which isn’t particularly torturous since the body moves that way without it being painful?
The Writing:
The writing is repetitive and distracts from from the story; at one point the main characters enter a room in the haunted house which feels like a pivotal moment. and then there’s a 20+ min direct to audience monologue from the author (in audiobook form it’s 20+ min) that feels like a spoken word piece stuck in right there to stop any possible momentum in the plot.
There is no subtlety and it’s very dramatic. At one point a child standing in a grocery store is described as “having capitalism in their eyes.” Listen we all need groceries but yes capitalism exists.
Multiple times the author seems to just ditch the story to do 10-20 min monologues about how fascism exists and is bad. It’s a messy mix of nonfiction essays with a fiction plot that does not come together.
The failed homage:
the story pushes Shirley Jackson real hard and also at one point basically retells the entire story of Bluebeard and his wives as saying “bad shit has happened in this house for years! Boo!” But it doesn’t come together in a satisfying or meaningful way that makes sense for us.
The good:
The sections of this very disjointed story about the type of people who seek out different types of trans sex work and webcam videos was interesting, particularly the “sissification” elements in some of them. The way and commonality that trans people have to perform and sell their sexuality for money to survive in a literal as well as figurative way was an interesting and compelling element.
The TERF closeted trans main character obsessing over these videos and insisting that they confuse cis people on gender (before admitting their own genderqueerness) was an interesting element.
I would have preferred those interesting elements have been developed without the sheer quantity of fantasized sexual violence against trans people and the repeated rapes done by trans people that this book chose to include, and with writing that was tighter and more coherent.
I hope future work by the author is more focused and less of a repetitive bludgeon
“Tell Me I’m Worthless” by Alison Rumfitt.
The first book I’ve read where a Morrisey poster cockblocks a hookup by knocking on the bed or floor, notably.
Honestly I’d put off writing a review because I was so disappointed in it. To be clear: trans women are women, trans men are men.
Moving on, I was truly appalled by the way claims of sexual assault are handled and implications of it especially in regards to trans characters, and the sheer number of pages dedicated to rape and violence against trans people, which didn’t feel purposeful but just felt like an overwhelming repetitive torrent.
Spoilers below for more details: CW for violence, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault, violence
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The concerning:
Both main characters are trans and are rapists and lie about it. Not clear why this is a choice made by the author.
Multiple characters make claims and have claims against them of sexual assault. It turns out both the main characters, an out trans woman and TERF closeted trans man, raped each other and are accusing the other of being the only one who committed rape. Another woman attempts sexual assault and then claims to have been the victim.
Not a great way to present people who claim to have been sexually assaulted or to have 100% of trans characters be rapists who lie about it.
At one point it says the haunted house made them rape each other, but it’s still a choice to only make trans characters (and 100% of them) rape people when they enter the house when no one else does.
The TERF lesbian main character is later presented to have been a closeted trans man after all, and the whole “your abusers are secretly gay that’s why they are bigots” thing is a bit played out and frustrating.
Page after page and chapter after chapter of homophobic, antisemitism, transphobic statements and slurs and detailed multiple page meandering rambling descriptions of trans women being raped, cut new holes in their bodies, and raped more and left for dead. The same multiple page 4chan rant (stated it’s being read on 4chan) is repeated in the book verbatim so you have to sit through it twice.
This is not done in an effective way at all, just violent bigoted word vomit over and over.
Then of course at the end the two trans characters that raped each other end up happy together at a pride parade and are murdered by some random white dude who read some of those rants about raping trans women on 4chan. What a reveal. The TERF was trans all along. Two rapists of each other got over it and are a happy couple, and then die.
The Silly:
One of the side effects of visiting a haunted house is apparently that her Morrisey poster is now haunted which manifests as it cockblocking her. It stares at her hookup during sex so they put the poster under the bed, and it knocks on the bed from under it until the love interest gets weirded out and leaves.
The haunted house makes the cishet white friend who enters with them stand like a swastika and they are stuck that way. As far as I can tell that would mean doing that old “walk like an Egyptian” dance or maybe kneeling with one leg forward and one abck like you were going to tie your shoes. Which isn’t particularly torturous since the body moves that way without it being painful?
The Writing:
The writing is repetitive and distracts from from the story; at one point the main characters enter a room in the haunted house which feels like a pivotal moment. and then there’s a 20+ min direct to audience monologue from the author (in audiobook form it’s 20+ min) that feels like a spoken word piece stuck in right there to stop any possible momentum in the plot.
There is no subtlety and it’s very dramatic. At one point a child standing in a grocery store is described as “having capitalism in their eyes.” Listen we all need groceries but yes capitalism exists.
Multiple times the author seems to just ditch the story to do 10-20 min monologues about how fascism exists and is bad. It’s a messy mix of nonfiction essays with a fiction plot that does not come together.
The failed homage:
the story pushes Shirley Jackson real hard and also at one point basically retells the entire story of Bluebeard and his wives as saying “bad shit has happened in this house for years! Boo!” But it doesn’t come together in a satisfying or meaningful way that makes sense for us.
The good:
The sections of this very disjointed story about the type of people who seek out different types of trans sex work and webcam videos was interesting, particularly the “sissification” elements in some of them. The way and commonality that trans people have to perform and sell their sexuality for money to survive in a literal as well as figurative way was an interesting and compelling element.
The TERF closeted trans main character obsessing over these videos and insisting that they confuse cis people on gender (before admitting their own genderqueerness) was an interesting element.
I would have preferred those interesting elements have been developed without the sheer quantity of fantasized sexual violence against trans people and the repeated rapes done by trans people that this book chose to include, and with writing that was tighter and more coherent.
I hope future work by the author is more focused and less of a repetitive bludgeon
“Tell Me I’m Worthless” by Alison Rumfitt.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Deadnaming, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Transphobia, Violence, Antisemitism, Murder, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria
dark
medium-paced
While this book is certainly not for everyone, it was 100% for me. It's dark, upsetting, and gruesome. I loved every second of it. Yes, if this was written by anyone other than a trans author this would be a very different review. This book would be downright offensive. However, written by a trans author and read by me (a trans reader), it's perfect.
DNF @ 53%
Terrible, the first chapter had potential but overall it wasn't well written, lots of transphobic and rape scenes that went on for an unnecessarily long time with no extension to the plot. It made me feel gross. I've listened to a lot of horror and this wasn't my cup of tea at all. I get what they were trying to achieve with this book but it wasn't landing.
Terrible, the first chapter had potential but overall it wasn't well written, lots of transphobic and rape scenes that went on for an unnecessarily long time with no extension to the plot. It made me feel gross. I've listened to a lot of horror and this wasn't my cup of tea at all. I get what they were trying to achieve with this book but it wasn't landing.
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I know the author was trying *really* hard to do something here but, as the reader, I just never could quite figure it out. I think the haunted house was suppose to represent fascism somehow (the characters being stuck in there / haunted by their past which is a really cool idea and how they have to embrace the past to move on with their futures) but the story just kinda fell short of achieving what it set out to do. I thought it would become clear by the end but maybe I missed something?
I also get that both characters were presented as “who is the most oppressed and who should we feel the most sorry for?” When there was a third character who by most standards would be considered the most privilege but ultimately paid the highest price in the end. I appreciate what was attempted here but it’s been months since I’ve read this book and I still haven’t figured it out.
I also get that both characters were presented as “who is the most oppressed and who should we feel the most sorry for?” When there was a third character who by most standards would be considered the most privilege but ultimately paid the highest price in the end. I appreciate what was attempted here but it’s been months since I’ve read this book and I still haven’t figured it out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body horror, Deadnaming, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gore, Gun violence, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Blood, Antisemitism, Toxic friendship
strange, haunting, bleak, melancholic. A LOT going on within these pages.
Listening to this book felt like tripping
First of all, major props to the reader of the audiobook, she's GREAT. She handled the rambling difficult weird-flowing text super well, and her voice for the house was perfect.
This book has a bunch of trigger warnings at the beginning; the central themes are queer trauma and the creeping spread of fascism. It doesn't hold back, so there's some really disgusting and shocking imagery. I guess there are tons of references to classic horror books that I haven't read, and I probably should read them... I think the most obvious reference is to The Haunting of Hill House, which I did read and didn't like. But I should read it again cuz I most likely missed something and just have a wrong opinion. ANYWAY.
The basic story is that Alice, a trans woman, had a massively fucked up experience while exploring a haunted house (named Albion) with her friends Ila and Hannah. Hannah did not make it out of the house, and Alice and Ila were left with conflicting memories of themselves being violently sexually assaulted by each other. It's a few years later, and Alice and Ila haven't spoken since. Alice is haunted by a poster of Morrissey in which she's blacked out his eyes, and Ila has become a terf. Both of them are drawn back to the house to find out what really happened to them, and what happened to Hannah.
This book felt evil. Like it was scary on a level where I felt it seep into me. This book as a whole is wild and upsetting and it made me think
First of all, major props to the reader of the audiobook, she's GREAT. She handled the rambling difficult weird-flowing text super well, and her voice for the house was perfect.
Spoiler
When the house is speaking through Hannah she makes it so the voice is fluctuating between an exaggerated version of Hannah's voice and the scary house's voice. The effect is like... horror movie level. I was afraid.This book has a bunch of trigger warnings at the beginning; the central themes are queer trauma and the creeping spread of fascism. It doesn't hold back, so there's some really disgusting and shocking imagery. I guess there are tons of references to classic horror books that I haven't read, and I probably should read them... I think the most obvious reference is to The Haunting of Hill House, which I did read and didn't like. But I should read it again cuz I most likely missed something and just have a wrong opinion. ANYWAY.
The basic story is that Alice, a trans woman, had a massively fucked up experience while exploring a haunted house (named Albion) with her friends Ila and Hannah. Hannah did not make it out of the house, and Alice and Ila were left with conflicting memories of themselves being violently sexually assaulted by each other. It's a few years later, and Alice and Ila haven't spoken since. Alice is haunted by a poster of Morrissey in which she's blacked out his eyes, and Ila has become a terf. Both of them are drawn back to the house to find out what really happened to them, and what happened to Hannah.
This book felt evil. Like it was scary on a level where I felt it seep into me.
Spoiler
The scene in the house where Albion cracks Hannah's body into the shape of a swastika.... I don't think I've read anything more abjectly evil than that. It's just a horrifically disturbing scene.
4.5 stars
Very thought-provoking. I'm glad one of my book clubs chose this book, it is a VERY good book for discussion. Lots of interesting points about fascism, transphobia, violence and scapegoating. Many interesting connections to history (mostly the Nazis) and other horror books and films (such as IT, mother!, all kinds of body horror because of THAT ONE SCENE - if you've read the book you know which one I mean -, or Her Body and Other Parties)
Very thought-provoking. I'm glad one of my book clubs chose this book, it is a VERY good book for discussion. Lots of interesting points about fascism, transphobia, violence and scapegoating. Many interesting connections to history (mostly the Nazis) and other horror books and films (such as IT, mother!, all kinds of body horror because of THAT ONE SCENE - if you've read the book you know which one I mean -, or Her Body and Other Parties)
This is in no way a popcorn horror novel. I had expected it would be based on the synopsis. It’s a haunted house novel, but one that has a lot to say about things like gender and fascism. Serious things. It’s alright, just not what I’m into. If you like Serious-minded Horror, go for it. I like mine to be more fun.