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short_for_alexander's review
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
jacki_f's review against another edition
4.0
If one of the reasons that you read is to understand the experiences of people living in different countries from you, this is a good choice. It's set in Kuwait and it's about the life of a 30 year old single woman.
I knew very little about Kuwait before reading this but it sounds like a mini Dubai. Despite bordering Iraq and Saudi Arabia, it's a place where women enjoy considerable freedoms. They can work, they can drive themselves around, they can dress in short skirts or tops that slip off the shoulder, they can mix with members of the opposite sex. But at the same time there is an expectation that they will marry and have children.
Dahlia is 30 and still unmarried. Her parents, especially her mother, are increasingly anxious about this situation. Both her close female friends married in their mid 20s - marriages that are not unhappy but still far from idyllic. Dahlia's resistance to marriage initially seems like a determination to hold out for love but gradually we learn that there is trauma in her past.
This is an easy read and an interesting story, but it's also somewhat repetitive (so many conversations with her mother telling her she must get married and Dahlia saying she doesn't want to). And the ending left me feeling uncomfortable - was that really the best decision she could have made?
I knew very little about Kuwait before reading this but it sounds like a mini Dubai. Despite bordering Iraq and Saudi Arabia, it's a place where women enjoy considerable freedoms. They can work, they can drive themselves around, they can dress in short skirts or tops that slip off the shoulder, they can mix with members of the opposite sex. But at the same time there is an expectation that they will marry and have children.
Dahlia is 30 and still unmarried. Her parents, especially her mother, are increasingly anxious about this situation. Both her close female friends married in their mid 20s - marriages that are not unhappy but still far from idyllic. Dahlia's resistance to marriage initially seems like a determination to hold out for love but gradually we learn that there is trauma in her past.
This is an easy read and an interesting story, but it's also somewhat repetitive (so many conversations with her mother telling her she must get married and Dahlia saying she doesn't want to). And the ending left me feeling uncomfortable - was that really the best decision she could have made?
jules_writes's review against another edition
5.0
Beautifully written. I’m already looking forward to her next book.
Although I found the ending a little bit disjointed from the story.
Although I found the ending a little bit disjointed from the story.
annaem's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.75
khairun_atika's review against another edition
3.0
"We are, all of us, accumulations of memories, reservoirs of revised history. Like magicians, we pull stories from our pasts - some we remember, some are pieced from the memories of others, some are partially or entirely appropriated." - The Pact We Made by Layla AlAmmar
Compelling and shocking from start to finish, this is the kind of book that leaves you with a heavy feeling of trepidation. It is a story of Dahlia, who feels the strain of getting married at thirty, who struggles with anxiety disorder, who yearns to live elsewhere and who is desperate to escape a terrible past.
As a Muslim, I felt disappointed with how things seemingly unravelled time and again for Dahlia. How she seems to rebel although she knows the repercussions, and how she acknowledges what is haram (forbidden) in her religion.
Yet if you take a step back and read through the context of it, you would understand the foundation for her misgivings. Dahlia was a victim of a terrible crime, who was stifled and held back by culture and reputation. The tragedy seemingly continued after the betrayal - Dahlia never dealt with the trauma, and instead developed an anxiety disorder of sorts, yearning to make decisions for herself after so many choices were taken away from her.
While we may believe everything is divided into black or white, or halal and haram, this book raises the issue of preserving your reputation versus dealing with the repercussions of a heinous act. How do we deal with these tragedies healthily, for the sake of the victim? It is important for us to show empathy, and not to be judgmental. Everyone has secrets, everyone has their vices, and there is always a foundation to how someone either strays, or comes back to the right path. And as fellow humans, even if we cannot seem to help them, what is important is that we continue to pray for them.
As I read this, I truly hope and pray that any woman who might face what Dahlia faced finds a way out of their misery. May Allah protect us all. Ameen.
Compelling and shocking from start to finish, this is the kind of book that leaves you with a heavy feeling of trepidation. It is a story of Dahlia, who feels the strain of getting married at thirty, who struggles with anxiety disorder, who yearns to live elsewhere and who is desperate to escape a terrible past.
As a Muslim, I felt disappointed with how things seemingly unravelled time and again for Dahlia. How she seems to rebel although she knows the repercussions, and how she acknowledges what is haram (forbidden) in her religion.
Yet if you take a step back and read through the context of it, you would understand the foundation for her misgivings. Dahlia was a victim of a terrible crime, who was stifled and held back by culture and reputation. The tragedy seemingly continued after the betrayal - Dahlia never dealt with the trauma, and instead developed an anxiety disorder of sorts, yearning to make decisions for herself after so many choices were taken away from her.
While we may believe everything is divided into black or white, or halal and haram, this book raises the issue of preserving your reputation versus dealing with the repercussions of a heinous act. How do we deal with these tragedies healthily, for the sake of the victim? It is important for us to show empathy, and not to be judgmental. Everyone has secrets, everyone has their vices, and there is always a foundation to how someone either strays, or comes back to the right path. And as fellow humans, even if we cannot seem to help them, what is important is that we continue to pray for them.
As I read this, I truly hope and pray that any woman who might face what Dahlia faced finds a way out of their misery. May Allah protect us all. Ameen.
maryjmartin's review against another edition
3.0
If you are looking a fiction yet incredibly eye opening insight into a culture which you are maybe not aware of then I throughly recommend this book. It didn’t grip me until the last 100 pages when it started to become more fast pasted but I really enjoyed reading about a culture which I knew about but didn’t appreciate
misspalah's review against another edition
4.0
She furrowed her brows. It's a party. Parents never approve of that, but I mean, she's an adult.' I had no response, and she turned away to spin more circles and send little waves across the pool. How could I explain to her that in our culture a daughter is not thought an adult until she's married and no longer in her father's care? That until then we just played at being adults - going to work, hitting the gym, watching our money - but remained impotent when it came to making any real decisions about our lives. I bet Kim had difficulty fathoming that a thirty-year-old had to ask permission to leave the country, or that she had to hide her male friends from her parents because good girls' didn't socialize with men. My parents had no idea who Yousef was; in the ten years I'd known him, as a friend, then as a colleague, they'd never met him nor heard me so much as mention his name. How could I make her see the myriad paradoxes in our culture? That while a few families were like Monas, who'd actually encouraged her to get a degree abroad and had been disappointed that shed chosen to stay with us, most of them were like mine and Zaina's, who thought we shouldn't do anything without considering what society might think of it first. Our lives were these elaborate plays, and we all wore masks. There was a life that people saw, where you were respectable and did all the right things, a life where people thought highly of you and you were firmly set on a predictable trajectory. But there was another life as well, one inside you, a life where you thought things you were too ashamed to say out loud, where you lied to people and you lied to yourself. It sometimes felt like I had put my past in a hole and spent my time shoveling dirt into it, but like some cheap horror movie, it kept trying to claw its way out.
- The Pact We Made by Layla Alammar
.
.
Sexual Assault Perpetrators Are Usually Family Members And Family Friends and that’s a fact that we cannot deny. Statistics and research has proven it over and over again. ‘The Pact We Made’ brought us readers into a reality of what it’s like being SA’d by family members and rather than bringing the perpetrator to justice, the victim’s family wishes it to keep silent for honor and family’s reputation is at stake. Dahlia were betrayed twice, once when she was raped by Omar uncle (her mom’s cousin) and second, when she’s got to know that her parents know Uncle Omar’s Nature but still insisting on doing the whole extended family vacation. Dahlia lived with her trauma - feeding it to monsters that lived around her. She channeled this obsession into her drawings and arts. I do have to apologise that some of these artistic references mentioned in the book went over my head as i am not familiar with it at all. I don’t have to highlight how ‘virginity’ is being placed as part of family’s honour / reputation but we all know at some parts of the world , its a cultural norm and how society control women indirectly. Dahlia is also trapped in this notion as her parents (especially her mother) refused to acknowledge the crime and keep on insisting that Dahlia to get married. She kept on pushing matches for an arranged marriage despite Dahlia passed 30 years old (which again for some culture , it’s considered old already). I have such high hope for Bu Faisal to be her mentor / second father as her real father failed her but it was turned into disappointment when he suggested Dahlia to be his second wife in a subtle manner. Yousef proposed to her but Dahlia knew deep down that they better stayed as friends. On the title itself, The Pact we made was hinting on the Pact that Dahlia has forged with Zaina and Mona - on marriage age and basically sticking together through thick and thin. But all’s left are words and they have moved on with their life leaving her dealt with her own pain and tragedy. I am not sure Mona and Zaina is the good indicator of best friend (at least not for me). This will be by far one of the memorable books i’ve read in 2023 - although we are only at the second month of the year. It was haunting and radically lyrical at the same time. Being an unmarried muslim woman, i relate so hard with Dahlia. Coming from a conservative society whereby Patriarchal values were enforced upon, Dahlia’s thoughts reflected what i have had in mine for so long. I was not ready to end this book as i finished this in one day but i am pretty sure once i parted with the book, Dahlia’s word echoed through me and this is one of them : “That his parents hounded him about marriage struck me as impossible. He was young; he had plenty of time for all that. More than that, he was a man. Unlike me, his eligibility didn't plummet further each year. If anything, he would become more desirable as more and more women remained single for longer. Why were they, our parents, so eager to push our lives forward? Why were they so keen to see the next phases of our lives start? What if there was no next phase? Certainly there were people - even here, where being alone struck such fear into the chest - who never found anyone to share their lives. Surrounded as we were by the divorced and cheated on and jilted, all slinking back to the family home, often with multiple children in tow, was it even worth it? Did it not make more sense to just give up on the whole enterprise?”. This would have been 5 stars read if its not for the ending. I understand why she choose Bu Faisal but he is a married man and i can’t stand infidelity. Polygamy is allowed in Islam but not in my worldview and certainly not in a way i wanted Dahlia to reclaim herself and retain her freedom.
- The Pact We Made by Layla Alammar
.
.
Sexual Assault Perpetrators Are Usually Family Members And Family Friends and that’s a fact that we cannot deny. Statistics and research has proven it over and over again. ‘The Pact We Made’ brought us readers into a reality of what it’s like being SA’d by family members and rather than bringing the perpetrator to justice, the victim’s family wishes it to keep silent for honor and family’s reputation is at stake. Dahlia were betrayed twice, once when she was raped by Omar uncle (her mom’s cousin) and second, when she’s got to know that her parents know Uncle Omar’s Nature but still insisting on doing the whole extended family vacation. Dahlia lived with her trauma - feeding it to monsters that lived around her. She channeled this obsession into her drawings and arts. I do have to apologise that some of these artistic references mentioned in the book went over my head as i am not familiar with it at all. I don’t have to highlight how ‘virginity’ is being placed as part of family’s honour / reputation but we all know at some parts of the world , its a cultural norm and how society control women indirectly. Dahlia is also trapped in this notion as her parents (especially her mother) refused to acknowledge the crime and keep on insisting that Dahlia to get married. She kept on pushing matches for an arranged marriage despite Dahlia passed 30 years old (which again for some culture , it’s considered old already). I have such high hope for Bu Faisal to be her mentor / second father as her real father failed her but it was turned into disappointment when he suggested Dahlia to be his second wife in a subtle manner. Yousef proposed to her but Dahlia knew deep down that they better stayed as friends. On the title itself, The Pact we made was hinting on the Pact that Dahlia has forged with Zaina and Mona - on marriage age and basically sticking together through thick and thin. But all’s left are words and they have moved on with their life leaving her dealt with her own pain and tragedy. I am not sure Mona and Zaina is the good indicator of best friend (at least not for me). This will be by far one of the memorable books i’ve read in 2023 - although we are only at the second month of the year. It was haunting and radically lyrical at the same time. Being an unmarried muslim woman, i relate so hard with Dahlia. Coming from a conservative society whereby Patriarchal values were enforced upon, Dahlia’s thoughts reflected what i have had in mine for so long. I was not ready to end this book as i finished this in one day but i am pretty sure once i parted with the book, Dahlia’s word echoed through me and this is one of them : “That his parents hounded him about marriage struck me as impossible. He was young; he had plenty of time for all that. More than that, he was a man. Unlike me, his eligibility didn't plummet further each year. If anything, he would become more desirable as more and more women remained single for longer. Why were they, our parents, so eager to push our lives forward? Why were they so keen to see the next phases of our lives start? What if there was no next phase? Certainly there were people - even here, where being alone struck such fear into the chest - who never found anyone to share their lives. Surrounded as we were by the divorced and cheated on and jilted, all slinking back to the family home, often with multiple children in tow, was it even worth it? Did it not make more sense to just give up on the whole enterprise?”. This would have been 5 stars read if its not for the ending. I understand why she choose Bu Faisal but he is a married man and i can’t stand infidelity. Polygamy is allowed in Islam but not in my worldview and certainly not in a way i wanted Dahlia to reclaim herself and retain her freedom.
georgiarybanks's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
Content Warnings
Minor: Sexual assault, Death, Drug use, Rape, and Self harm
zarrazine's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape
mayaism_01's review against another edition
5.0
This is a 5 star book no doubt in my mind.
This a book for middle eastern women who have never felt understood, and this a book for the people who want to understand them.
I’ve never felt so represented in a book and i’m so grateful, this is an awesome book!
Please read!!!
This a book for middle eastern women who have never felt understood, and this a book for the people who want to understand them.
I’ve never felt so represented in a book and i’m so grateful, this is an awesome book!
Please read!!!